Listening to Your Inner Voice: Presence, Melancholy, and Happiness

Sometimes, when we wake up in the morning, we feel that our brains are not turned on, and we have not thought of what we will do today; however, we do not feel a trace of joy.

At this time, we should listen to the warning signal sent by our hearts.

Recently (8/17) on the Internet, I received an interspersed news. Feeling the fragility of people's lives again, I started writing this article. Based on the information I have received so far, I guess that it may be a momentary emotional excitement. If the time can be longer, or he is rescued later, it is very likely that he will regret it very much.

Let's talk about "suffering". Often, when we ourselves, or those around us who are very close and dear to us, are in great pain, we often can't help but doubt the meaning of life.

On the one hand, it is very painful to doubt the meaning of life, which shakes our hope, enjoyment, and joy for the future, and also makes it difficult for us to persist and stably take the current path of solving problems. But on the other hand, we can't really deny that the future is very uncertain, and there is still pain; and that the road ends in death. So what is our life "for"? Is there any reason that can support us to continue to suffer, now and in the future?

This brings us to the difference between "sadness" and "melancholy". "Sadness" is for someone, oneself, something; "Sadness" has an "object". The reason for grief is that my love for a certain object, or the life and beauty of the other person I have come to appreciate, is endangered, attacked, or even destroyed. Then of course we feel sad; sadness is: for the destruction and disappearance of something "good."

So what is "melancholy"? "Melancholy" is for "life" itself, or the relationship between "self and oneself". Often, when our lives have suffered too much and too deep pain, we wonder: Will the future really get better? Even if the future gets better, one day it will still be destroyed. What is my life, people's life, for?

Such doubts about the "meaning" of life are terrifying; sometimes, people do stumble over this thought, causing regrets. However, it is precisely in order to face up to the problem and relieve this huge doubt in our hearts, we have to say: In fact, doubts about the fundamental meaning of "life" have great positive value in our lives.

Even if we doubt the fundamental meaning of life, we cannot deny it: it is because life has meaning to "me" that I "want to know" what it is. Even if we doubt the fundamental meaning of life, we still cannot deny it: even if we assume that the future of human beings is all unfortunate, I still long for happiness, long for freedom from pain.

"Melancholy" gives us an opportunity to not rely on the work we are doing, not based on a fixed goal, event, or situation; not to use others as the "sustenance" of our happiness, but to regard him as our own A "companion" who pursues happiness together. Let us face ourselves, with who we are, our will, and our hesitation, to face our own innermost being, the inexhaustible drive for happiness and the love of life.

If we borrow the terminology of Tiantai: everyone longs for happiness, and everyone is a seeker of happiness. However, if our trust in life is challenged by "melancholy"; then, only when we have passed the test of "melancholy" and are willing to use our own identity to be honest and take responsibility for this inner conflict within us. Only with the desire and urging force of happiness can we become the happiness seekers of "contemplation of action" or "examination of evidence".

That is to say, on the hard road, on the road that seems impossible to achieve happiness, we are willing to take on our own love and pursuit of happiness, rather than belittle and reject it. We are willing to take on, "I pursue happiness, and the end result may be failure." This thing. We will no longer use the wrong means to achieve the freedom from pain in our minds.

I also pray that all those who have left their lives will be supported by a mysterious force and continue their unfinished journey in a world we cannot see.

2022/08/19

references

By Kay Redfield Jamison. Translated by Hsieh Katie: "Everything Is No Longer", Taipei City: World Culture, 2010.

By H. Norman Wright. Translated by Wang Yuwei: "Love Beyond a Lifetime: Healing and Life Reconstruction after Losing the Other Half", Taipei City: Cosmic Light, 2012.

Li Zhen: "Existence and Depression", "From Existence to Eternity", Taipei City: Taiwan Business, 1995.