Who will ask when I will return home

Riding a bike this morning, I carefully passed through the speed bump on the right side when going uphill. The singing in my ears seemed to be cut off and reconnected, and somehow I sang "About Winter". I chuckled in my heart, and suddenly wanted to tell him that I was already in winter.

"You ask me when I will return to my hometown, and I also ask myself softly, not at this time, I don't know when, I think it will be around winter."

Who will ask when I will return home. The first thing I think of is my mother, because my hometown is my hometown. In the past 20 years, I only had that home.

It's almost New Year's Eve, and before I know it, I have become an "adult" who can easily perceive this. If there are any rights accompanying this, it may be to announce this accurate news to the children.

I remember my mother's phone call that night. At first, I worked hard, but when I learned that I didn't want to go home no matter what, I was furious. "It's almost New Year's Eve" is the most appropriate excuse for Chinese parents. You have no reason to resist.

But I still went my own way and decided to go to the Nujiang River. "You ask me when I will return to my hometown", the song is sung softly and tactfully, which is still different from my situation.

In a blink of an eye, it's Friday, the day of harmony. I was like living on the fringes of the city (literally, it would be unbearable to go further into the center), with a kite string tied to my body and flying back to our village when I was free.

"Remember to go home for dinner after get off work", "When will you be home", this is a friend's mother asking me "When will I return home", once a week. It's just that sometimes the kite is disconnected and I will be absent.

I would rather spend so much trouble adapting to other people's soil, water, and wind than to go back to my mother's house. Occasionally, if I take her point of view, I will feel that she is very pitiful. I said, it is best for mothers in the world to exchange their daughters for love, not just one, but also the daughters of other families.

This is nothing more than a quip, obviously overlooked too much, and probably never achieved. But I just want to do that, even just thinking about it.

I lived at a friend's house for a long time and was cared for by her mother. I occasionally felt uneasy and felt that I owed a lot, and I didn't know who I owed more. Maybe a friend, because the more her mother was doubly nice to me, the more guilty I felt. It feels like all this should have been hers, and I took it away like this - even if there is no snatch action, but only in my own hands, I should be ashamed.

But what about the "love of other people's daughters" that I imagined? Was the love copied at the beginning, because I hid under the identity of "daughter" and got some of it as a matter of course. But because it is not my daughter after all, there is no way to completely copy the original love, and in the process of constant contact, I repeatedly remove the identity of "daughter" to re-acquaint and re-confirm, so this Love has become unique again.

Seeing a girl from another family, the mother may first have such a judgment and idea in her heart: her daughter's friend. "Daughter" comes first, and the phrase cannot be simplified in any way, not a daughter, nor a friend. If you have to rely on individual words first, it must be "daughter".

In this way, at first it was only a copy, but through continuous confirmation, the only love that may exist and may be realized.

The same is true for me, her identity as a "friend's mom", which I may have emphasized to myself at the very beginning, pushed others away while also causing confusion and pain. It might be better than now if I were to rely on one of those words, even if it was wrong.

I shouldn't be ashamed when this mother decided to love me and was ready to give me a little of the love she gave her daughter. She'll know me eventually, and I'll be able to pick one word out of many that I silently expect is "friend," not mother, not daughter.