閱讀筆耕
閱讀筆耕

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Reading pen farming | Remote meeting (2)• All praises, in-depth discussions

(edited)
Express praise with actions and words; respond to praise; praise through a third party.

As mentioned earlier in " Sky under the Epidemic • Remote Meeting ", I participated in the monthly online reading club and used the software of Google Meet.

Photo by Nienke Broeksema on Unsplash

Today Y shared what she gained from taking a course in the app , the theme is " Praise "; with Y's introduction as the main axis, plus the feedback from the participants, it is compiled into a "meeting record" and put up, with the mind map I made, Fragrance to everyone.



■ Praise, expressed in action

Active listening is also a compliment.

It is a silent affirmation. It uses "body language" to express approval for the other party , such as leaning forward, nodding, agreeing, etc.; presumably, most people make a nasal "ummm" when they agree, so they use [ umm ] Degree ] This term is used to collectively refer to similar measures, reflecting the strength of implementation.

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And [ touch probability ] refers to the frequency of swiping the phone while distracted, which is impolite. But it can be reversed, and I think of an experience that impressed me:

 Once, after my meal with the other party was over, and before we were about to get down to business, he said, "Please wait for me first."
I saw him flip the phone to the back and push it away from us....

This move of [ turning the machine ] , whether he was intentional or not, made me attach great importance.

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Finally, when it comes to the " probability ", the allusions come from public speaking activities. Seeing the audience take out their mobile phones to take a slideshow of the speaker, it is extended to mean "taking notes", showing concern and interest in the content.



■ Praise, manifest in words

Everyone seeks to be seen in life.

Spent a lot of time discussing [ Playing Chasing Light ] . Imagine being in the dark. Through your praise, you can shine the spotlight on the other person, so that "others" can see his goodness in addition to you.

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It is said that when raising a child, instead of praising his natural talents, such as praising him for being smart, it is more ideal to praise him for his acquired efforts. The subject to be praised should focus on [ behavior ] , not talent.

Recalling that when I went to Carnegie, my teacher said that praise is like shooting a target. The outside is the obvious external things. If you want to hit the red heart, you must directly hit the inner personality traits . Echoing Y's sharing.

Praise is like a dartboard

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The most refreshing thing for me is Observe the difference , which means to pay attention to the question of "comparing with whom" when complimenting.

For example, a person at the end of a crane, to affirm (comfort) the fact that a gifted student dropped from 100 to 90, he said, "Your score is very good, like me, I can only score 60. Wandering around!" Officers, what do you think this gifted student thinks?

This example brings inspiration. When praising, compare with "the other party's group", not with yourself .

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Others like [ lightly], [ deeply ], and [ often ] are quite easy to understand. This part is placed in the mind map below, and an online version has also been made to cater to the mobile browsing experience, and it is presented in a straight form.

Edit with Xmind, open new tabs for better resolution


■ Respond to compliments

"It's not as good as you said!"
"You are too serious, don't dare to take it!"

The way Asian culture responds to praise often falls into "rejection in disguise". Here we suggest that everyone [accept it with ease] without being overly modest or explaining it.

A little more than thank you...  

For example, "You are so kind", "Thank you for discovering this", "I'll keep trying", and keep the conversation going.



■ Epilogue: compliments from third parties are always the most effective

Finally, I also thought of a big trick, not to praise directly, but to praise through a third party .

This is the opposite of "gossip", we can say "good things" about others behind their backs.

It is also the reverse operation of "grasping the rake". We make small reports with "good words" and incarnate as little angels who convey good words. Why not do it?



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