verbal bullying

" Maybe because I don't care anymore, I annoy them even more." / Self-made / Zhang Manjuan

Yesterday I saw this passage in Zhang Manjuan's book "Self-Forming a School", which made my memory jump to more than forty years ago, when I was in the second grade of middle school.

At that time, the junior high school still had the mechanism of aptitude test classification (it may still be there now), and I was assigned to the "upper class", which is the so-called "advanced class". I have just been assigned to an unfamiliar class, there are only one or two classmates in the first grade, and they are all boys, so I can't have more familiar faces, so I can only smile and say hello to the classmates sitting next to me.

When I was studying, I was a bit shy, because I liked girls with temperament, and I longed to become such a person myself, so I carried a small handkerchief with me, (I don’t know why I thought that girls with handkerchiefs were considered temperament, not only In this way, there will be a faint fragrance on the handkerchief) It is convenient to wipe the mouth after eating and wipe the sweat when sweating. For me, this action is a habit that a person with temperament will have.

At that time, I was quite concerned about this kind of behavior. I made myself a reserved and not casual appearance, which might make people feel superior. From the evaluation of my classmates, it seems that I have succeeded in being a "temperament" girl.

To be honest, I don't really know what I was thinking at the time, but if I met the former me now, I would definitely want to fix this fake girl (laughs).

Maybe boys like this kind of girl who is a bit temperamental and a bit arrogant. Or maybe I am the eldest daughter, and I always hope to present an image that is delicate and firm, beautiful and temperamental, and has an unattainable appearance. I think such a girl should be more attractive.

I remember a classmate who was very good at her homework but was not easy to get along with. There were many students in the class who didn’t like to talk to her and were always alienated from her. I don’t know if it was because of jealousy, but once during the lunch break at noon, she even asked me to go out to talk, and I foolishly followed her out, and then she said to me: “Do you think you are contrived? It’s annoying to pretend .”

I was inexplicably read by her, and tears flowed out immediately. I don't understand why she taunted me so much. I didn't offend her, let alone speak ill of her. I even envied her good grades, but she attacked me in this way, which made me cry for a long time.

Although now I don't like myself who cared so much about my behavior at that time, but for me, I didn't pretend, but I really hoped that I should be like this, completely being myself, but being misunderstood by others , I was quite hurt by this when I was young.

When I got home, my father looked at me sullenly and asked me what happened. I will tell my father in detail. Listen to me, maybe he hasn't dealt with this kind of problem before, so he can only tell me: "Don't talk to her, don't let these words affect you. Just do what you have to do."

So I went to school the next day, still following my usual style, as if nothing had happened.

However, as described in Zhang Manjuan's book, seeing my expression of no change or worry, this irritated her, and called me out to speak again, and she said: "Everyone told you to be fake, you actually If you don't change it, it will be too thick-skinned."

Right now I am really helpless, I can do nothing but cry, after all, it is the first time I meet such a person, I don't know how to respond, only crying is the most direct reaction I can make immediately.

Maybe my popularity is not too bad, a few classmates who are better than me came out to help me, and answered the call for me, telling her not to go too far, and she didn't offend you, otherwise tell the teacher.

This incident ended in such a "peaceful" way. Although she still looked at me with unkind eyes, I felt a little sympathetic to her.

The words in the book once happened in the journey of my life. Even if it was just a small episode, it made me extremely painful (I didn’t know how to relieve the pressure when I was young), let alone being bullied by more than one person at that time. Zhang Manjuan.

The terrible behavior of bullying is still happening in this society, when will it completely disappear? Family education cannot be separated from responsibility.

I sincerely hope that parents can cultivate empathy when educating their children to treat others, so that their children will not become victims, let alone perpetrators. If we do more for our social responsibilities, the society will bear less damage.