The first step in the practice of "Facing the Unknown": Adjusting the sub-communication

Hello, this is Mr. A. This time, I will talk to you about the topic of "confidence" . There are many people around me, including myself, who used to have very low self-esteem, and often fell into self-doubt. Therefore, how to have "confidence" is a necessary process to become a complete person.

But if you want to finish everything about self-confidence, the article will probably be longer than the Great Wall. So today I'll start with a little bit of content, let's take a look at how self-confidence affects a person's "sub-communication", and how to improve a terrible sub-communication through behavior.

First of all, what is "subtle communication"? Communication between people is like the iceberg that broke the Titanic. Words and words are like a tiny bit of ice protruding from the calm sea; while "submerged communication" such as tone, eyes, limbs, etc., is the iceberg itself that is not easy to be observed under the water, but sinks the ship of the century.

So what is the relationship between subconscious communication and self-confidence? Imagine the following situation: You fail an important exam, make a mistake when you go to the stage, or confess to a girl but get rejected, as if you were rejected by the world; at this time, you can't look directly in the eyes of others, and your chest and shoulders are very tight Stretched, speaking with an erratic tone. These outward actions have revealed your inner state to others - uncertain glances and self-defensive curls have taken the place of your mouth to tell the person in front of you that you are very uncomfortable and unconfident; especially In the face of an executive who has read countless people or a sharp woman (they usually call this the "sixth sense").

Of course, these reactions are normal, even human instincts, in the face of setbacks or fears. However, you who will click on this article must be dissatisfied with the current situation and want to make yourself better, right? And I'm telling you, yes, it can be changed! Not some ethereal chicken soup for the soul, but a scientifically proven method worth trying.

The specific approach is to adjust from the "outside" to the "inside". The first step is to realize your inner state, whether it is self-confidence and abundance, or low self-esteem and scarcity. Next, intentionally adjust your body, tone and eyes , open and stretch your chest and shoulders; remove the rising tail when you speak, and be more affirmative; don't float when you meet someone's eyes, thinking that you just want to see him Stare like what brand of contact lenses are, and don't forget to put a smile on your face.

Yep, that's all. There are two principles behind it: First, it is well understood that internal state affects external behavior; but many psychological studies support that external behavior can also change internal state . Second, when you are in an anxious environment, your worries and negative imaginations will eat your attention like a shark, and your intentional recognition and adjustment of your feelings and physical states will draw your attention . Pull back to the present moment and regain control of your thoughts.

However, I must also say that this is not a panacea. If I had to say it, I'd say it's a muscle-building exercise, a mind-muscle exercise.

Having said that, next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation again, trust you already know what to do.

You are welcome to leave your thoughts; if you find this article helpful, like and share it with those around you, thanks for reading :D