凌渊
凌渊

梦想成为一颗星星。 Telegram:AboveAbyss

composition nightmare

From childhood to adulthood, the type of exam question I was most afraid of was composition. When I encountered composition, I felt intimidated. When I encountered almost any proposition, I felt that I couldn’t write it at all. I could only make up nonsense to make up the word count. Most of the time, my composition score is only a little higher than the passing line, and occasionally I get a higher score because of the mercy of the teacher who marked the test.

When I was in elementary school, the teacher asked to write a weekly diary, and it had to be a narrative essay. I get tormented every week when I write an essay. My life is very dull, except for studying and reading, there is nothing worth recording at all, and I can't remember what happened this week, so I can only make up an experience, but this is for people who lack experience , is also a daunting challenge.

I once wrote two essays about planting plants, namely planting peas and sunflowers, both of which are false. The actual situation is that no matter what plant I plant, the seeds I buried never even germinate. Maybe I accidentally chose the ripe ones. Seed it. This is still a story inspired by real experience, and the memory that can provide imagination space is still poor.

Later, I read more sample essays, and I started to write essays according to the routine.

The teacher showed us a model essay about watching fish, and encouraged us to learn the pattern and content of the model essay. I applied the content of the sample essay in an exam and got a good score. Other students did the same thing and were praised by the teacher.

The travel essays I wrote are basically about going to a park to play. In spring, we write about the sound of birds and flowers; in summer, we write about the sound of ponds and frogs; in autumn, we write about the leaves of the west wind; in winter, we write about flying kites. Later, the Chinese teacher even asked why I always go to the park every time I write an essay. Haven't I been to any other place... Indeed, I often spend my weekends wandering around the world in the book.

In this way, I managed to get through elementary school by making up and plagiarizing, but when I was 11 years old, something happened that profoundly affected the trajectory of my life.

I started writing novels, trying to express my thoughts in words. When I create novels, I cast aside all constraints, are not limited by time and subject matter, and do not have to worry about other people's evaluations. The only thing I need to care about is whether my emotions and thoughts are truly expressed, which is precisely what writing essays do not. needs. For the first time, I experienced the joy of writing, and the spiritual enjoyment brought by writing as I wanted was not inferior to reading a good book.

Since then, writing has become my favorite way of expressing myself. However, my love for writing, combined with my obsession with authenticity, made it increasingly difficult for me to accept fabrication and plagiarism when writing. I can't accept that I use words insincerely, at least when I write, I can't betray what I really think. This principle made me suffer even more in my later study life, but it has not been abandoned so far.

Junior high school also has to write a weekly journal, but the subject matter of the journal is not limited. I usually write one thing and criticize it. For example, the propositional composition will hinder students' self-expression and discourage students' creative enthusiasm; Parents want their children to enjoy reading, so they should be free to choose books. This kind of composition has never been praised, but it has never been criticized, so I am more and more arrogant. The "peak work" of the junior high school period was to criticize the Chinese teacher directly in an examination room composition, and wrote a complaint. However, the Chinese teacher did not get angry after reading it, and we were able to chat harmoniously afterwards.

In junior high school, although there was a lot of room to play, the grading standard was not relaxed, and most of my compositions did not get high marks. Later, I was warned many times by teachers that I must write essays according to the preference of the examiner, and not be too casual. I understand the teacher's thoughts, but I couldn't listen to her advice in the end. Now that I think about it, I'm a little disappointed in her.

The composition of high school is more terrifying than before. In the exams I have experienced, the composition propositions are often very boring, and the content has no room for free play, and even the form must conform to the rules. There may be differences in teaching methods in different schools, and not all are so stereotyped.

However, I didn't write a lot in high school. Because the mental state in high school was extremely low, and long-term insomnia gradually affected mental control, most of the essays in homework and exams were not written. For the few exams completed within the specified time, the composition is basically written randomly, and after the test, I forget what I wrote, and I don’t know why such a bad composition can pass.

Although I couldn't cope with composition at all, I was not as casual as I was in junior high school. The composition I wrote basically did not violate the rules, but the level was very low. After all, I have not even been able to create and read for a long time. nothing. The only composition that vents its true emotions, criticizing the current state of education without digressing. The score for this composition is far below the pass line, and it is the lowest composition score I have ever obtained in my study life.

I have always hated writing, a hatred that has not diminished over time, and has intensified in recent years. Even without considering personal grievances, from an educational perspective, a composition must be given a negative evaluation.

The so-called composition, what exactly is to be cultivated and examined?

Literary skills?

In my opinion, cultivating literary skills requires a lot of reading accumulation and a certain amount of creative experience. However, reading is not something that can be universally supported for students in the context of increasing learning pressure. Creation requires a period of immersion and consideration, and non-spontaneous writing is difficult to immerse, and the extremely short time limit eliminates the opportunity to consider the text, so creation and writing are incompatible things. The current composition training is not so much improving students' literary skills as it is killing students' literary talents.

Thinking skills?

Today's composition propositions generally lack openness, students can choose from very few angles, and they cannot express their thoughts freely. If the composition lacks positive energy, or does not meet the preference of the examiner, students will also be accused of not understanding questions. When the perspective, viewpoint and form of the composition have been determined, it is difficult for real and profound thinking to have space for existence.

meekness?

Since the creative ability and thinking ability cannot be fully developed, the main significance of the composition is probably to examine the ideological tendency or the degree of obedience of the students. If ordinary students want to get a better score, even if they don’t agree with the viewpoints in the essay proposition and don’t like rigid discussion templates, they must conform to mainstream preferences in order to be safe. In this way, although it may not be possible to select people with special talents, it can ensure that people with impure thoughts and unwilling to accept social discipline cannot gain an advantage.

The composition has left an indelible shadow on me and a profound negative impact on countless students. Composition erases their individuality, discourages their creative enthusiasm, hinders their development of literary literacy, and runs counter to their apparent positive educational significance.

In the future, composition will continue to torture and destroy disadvantaged students. At present, this trend shows no signs of easing, but is gradually increasing.

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