Formal Diary | I'm Valuable!

I went back to meet the counselor this month and happily shared my current situation with her. In addition to experimenting to reduce the use of 3C products, I also practiced and recorded a regular life every day, but despite this, I was still a little scared and worried about this. The stable state will not last long, and there is no source of stress in life recently. Except for the need to be more cautious with money, there will be basically no emergencies; so I still hope to strengthen these laws at this stage, so that in the future With more contact with the outside world, there is enough resilience to support different situations.

That afternoon, I was finally able to clearly share the pattern I observed with the counselor. Although I have mentioned it in the previous articles, it seems that I can't say it clearly, so I want to be more careful in this diary. Geography over thoughts.

The pattern I am referring to here is the common pattern of emotional venting when I am under great stress; and in this type of pattern, regardless of whether the causative factor is related to my traumatic experience or not, depending on the magnitude of the stress, I have used dating, ALL IN. Emotional dependence on a specific person, etc.

One thing these forms of cathartic stress have in common is that I turn my attention away from my anxiety or negative emotions to a specific relationship—whether it’s physical or emotional; in severe cases, I even cut off this passage. other relationships outside of the relationship, so I become very dependent on the people in this relationship, it makes me feel needed, or to put it bluntly, it makes me feel " I am valuable ", but And because this is the "only" relationship, the stakes are high.

In the state of ALL IN, I completely hand over my emotional ups and downs to another person instead of practicing facing and mastering my emotions. At the same time, my "sense of self-worth" will also be based on whether the other person responds to my needs. , and make me feel safe while following the ups and downs.

As for the current regular life and prudent management of relationships, I hope to spend more time for myself, observe my state and emotions, and do some "feel good" things, such as reading, studying, and exercising, and practice taking care of my physical and mental health. Emotional need to feel and be aware of anxiety or fear, and try to see what can (not) be done to ease the state. Remember to tell yourself, This will change too!

Well, probably so. The counselor says it's not an easy path, but it's worth practicing.

In addition, I am also trying to avoid drinking and coffee at the same time, which is really difficult! But it should be a lot easier than quitting sugar. Although I wasn't a heavy drinker before, I often drink too much because I'm stressed. When I mentioned this to my counselor, she said that if alcohol can relieve stress, I don't rely on it now. When you are stressed, you must practice replacing it with other things, because the need to relieve stress itself still exists. So far it's going pretty well, it's been more than 30 days!

Don't seek to improve, only to be stable. I am valuable :)