Share after reading｜Mr. Toad went to see a psychologist

Recently, I passed by the Eslite Bookstore and found that Mr. Toad, which I finished reading a long time ago, was still placed in a prominent position on the display shelf. I recalled the conversation between Heron and Mr. Toad in my mind...Empty memory.
It seems that I still need to record my reading experience so that I can ruminate and review it in the days to come :-)
In the way of fairy tales, this book allows the depressed Mr. Toad to explore and heal himself through constant communication and dialogue with the psychological counselor Heron.
It can be regarded as an approachable version of the introduction to psychoanalysis.

📖Psychological counseling-for yourself and not for others <br class="smart">I wonder if psychological counseling has become more and more popular in today's society? The old social perception seems to have a certain resistance to contact with psychological counseling. Do you think that emotional depression is not a disease, why do you need treatment, why do you have to charge such a high fee to find someone to chat with?

Although I have never received psychological counseling, the status of a psychological counselor in my heart is very lofty.
He has to accept many emotions, most of which are negative, and he must accurately judge which kind of treatment is suitable for the case in front of him while talking with the case (after all, what if the case commits suicide accidentally!!!)

In the book, Mr. Toad's motive for going to Heron Cottage is purely because his friends asked him to undergo psychological counseling. He thinks that counseling is like seeing a doctor, as long as he waits for the doctor to tell him what to do, he will be cured.

Psychological counseling has always been a spontaneous process, and both the counselor and the client must be voluntary. That said, we can only really work together if you want to consult for yourself, not to please your friends.

A while ago, I suggested to my friends that she could try psychological counseling (I am like the characters of Rat and Badger in the book), but perhaps as the book says, psychological counseling must be spontaneous, if the client is not willing to try He is also unwilling to face the wound, even if he takes his friend to the counseling room with a knife, the walls of his heart are still closed.

Another very distressing thing is that Mr. Toad asked the counselor Helu at the end of the first consultation: Do you think I will get better?
When he feels alone and helpless, maybe all he needs is an encouragement, a sincere encouragement.

📖Self -growth - conscious change

Most parents try their best to raise their children, and few parents deliberately hurt their children. But parents are also human beings, and they inevitably pass on ideas and behaviors to the next generation, just as they inevitably pass on their genes to their children. So what children need to learn is how to cope with and avoid bad influences.

How many identities can you experience and take on in your life? Father and mother are also one of them. Being a parent for the first time, nervousness and worry are inevitable. Both parents and children are learning. Learn how to be better.

Every infant must learn to adjust his basic behaviors to his initial situation, and this adjustment becomes the basis for subsequent growth and development of other behaviors. These early experiences form the rudiments of a personality that we can never deny or forget.

When a child is crying, parents who panic and have no way to deal with it can only hope for a moment of peace by scolding their own flesh and blood. There was a lack of care and many understandable opportunities were missed. The behavior pattern that children will learn in the future will be: crying - being scolded.
No matter how many stories there are behind the crying, they are all omitted. How distressing!

The world moves too fast to be understood, and while these habitual behaviors and reactions are shaped, they can certainly be changed if one recognizes one and does not like it.
Although it cannot be denied that it once existed, it does not mean that it cannot be adjusted or changed.

The person who can help you is yourself and only you. There are many questions you need to ask yourself. For example, can you stop judging yourself? Can you be nicer to yourself? Perhaps the most important question is, can you start loving yourself?

Through the exchange and dialogue between Mr. Toad and Heron, Mr. Toad digs into his past and analyzes his emotions. The counselor Helu also explains it professionally, as if the three states constitute his own personality structure.
■Children's self-state: Repeatedly through the shadow of childhood.
■Adult Self-State: Thinking about the present moment and evaluating.
■Parents' self-state: Inheriting the values of parents to educate others.

In my life, I am very fortunate to have met a character like a heron.
: How are you feeling today?
I am like Mr. Toad, who knows how to identify his emotions more and more, and is more and more able to describe his daily life and express whether everything in the world brings me joy or sorrow.
Although this kind of communication is not learned from getting along with parents, it is still valuable, just like Mr. Toad met a heron later in life.

You can understand behavior intellectually, but you can fully understand yourself only by connecting with your emotions. As you become more aware of how you feel your emotions, you will understand that they are not optional or something to be ignored, because emotions are the core of who you are.

In the end, as the book cover puts it bluntly: as long as we can truly face our emotions and gain understanding, we will have the opportunity to grow.

I hope that everyone can learn and grow together from Toad's counseling journey.

 Mr. Toad went to see a psychologist Counselling for toads
Author: Rob. Robert de Board
Translator: Zhang Meihui Published by Sancai Publishing 2022-01-26