Read "Mr. Toad Goes to a Psychologist" to experience psychological counseling

Author: Rob. Robert de Board
Translator: Zhang Meihui Illustrator: Dinner Illustration
Publisher: Sancai

The previous book I read about psychologists was " Maybe You Should Talk to Someone ", which had high drama and tension and made people care about the progress of the characters' "story"; while " Mr. Toad Goes to See a Psychologist " returns to the orthodoxy , focusing exclusively on understanding what psychological counseling is "all about". It is very suitable for people who are curious, confused, and hesitant about this business to read.

■ Voluntariness and cooperation

True to the title of the book, the protagonist Mr. Toad fell into a depressed mood. Although his friends Mole, River Rat and Old Badger cared about him, they were helpless. Finally, they thought of a local heron psychologist and "encouraged" Mr. Toad. I must go talk to him.

There is a question of "will" involved here.

Did the person involved act “voluntarily”? Or are you unable to resist the requests of friends and family, and come here unwillingly? The former is active participation, wanting to do something for oneself, and taking responsibility for one's own life . The latter is passive, and the situation is probably like crossing your arms and listening to a preaching conference!

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I remembered that when I was exposed to Carnegie training before, some students in the class were indeed "sent"; or they were often asked by people around them, saying that someone around them had XXX (please substitute) troubles, which made them I recommend a book as an introduction to medicine, and he wants to buy/borrow it and "give" it to someone so that he can get the right medicine.

Usually these people who are "sent" end up being sent away (Taiwanese pronunciation) with very poor results. They don't feel that they are in trouble, it is the people around them who do.

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Heron said: "Psychological counseling has always been a spontaneous process, and both the counselor and the client must be voluntary . Only when you do it for yourself (rather than just to please relatives and friends) can we truly Cooperate ."

■ Transactional Analysis (TA)

This title, mentioned in the preface, is the therapeutic technique used by Heron (different psychologists adopt different theoretical schools) on Mr. Toad. This TA is not that (marketing) TA . What I have learned is that the whole process is roughly:

• Three self-states <br class="smart">The heron switches from listener to narrator from time to time, teaching the toad what the child, parent, and adult self-states are.

To my surprise, it turns out that everyone has a "parental state" , just more or less. Imagine that there is a judge living in your heart, whose duty is to accuse people and convict them. Such "certainty" has no room for new knowledge or ideas, and will only make you more persistent in your own opinions.

• Life Script <br class="smart">Visit your childhood and get key clues to understanding yourself...connect with your emotions and understand them.
• Psychological status <br class="smart">divided into four quadrants, a kind of collusion (secretly or unconsciously cooperating with the other party) is like a game played... used to understand behavior, especially one's own behavior.

Heron said: "The psychological status of 'I am good and you are good' is a dynamic rather than a static state. It needs to be continuously shown to oneself and others through behavior and attitude. It is a person's belief - belief in oneself. , also trusting others, not necessarily God or supernatural powers.

■Epilogue

It's like being on site and experiencing every step of the psychological counseling process.

It’s not just about chatting, going to class, and waiting for other people’s advice. It is more like a kind of continuous and in-depth guidance, guiding the client to answer his own questions, increase the proportion of "adult state", have a new understanding of himself, and have more strength to make new choices.

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