Love Exclusions｜Frankly, I don’t know what love is

In psychology, there is a theory called the "drawbridge effect". The results of the experiment show that if you have someone you like, try to bring him to the suspension bridge. In that fearful and trembling environment, he will be more likely to have a good impression of you. This is the so-called attribution fallacy of the state of mental arousal. Because people are always easy to mistakenly think that the physical symptoms of rapid heartbeat, rapid blood flow, and rising adrenaline are the feeling of admiration for others. From a psychological point of view, love seems to be a series of physiological reactions of blushing and inexplicable nervousness.

In Buddhist stories, there is an allusion of "looking back five hundred times in the previous life, in exchange for passing by in the present life". When a girl meets a boy in the crowd, she thinks that he is the man she is looking for in her life and is worthy of trust. In order to see the boy again, the girl turned into a stone and suffered five hundred years of wind and rain. Finally, on the day when her body was knocked into a bridge pier, she saw the boy passing by in the middle of the bridge; the girl prayed to touch the boy and turned into a stone again. I planted a tree and stood it on the official road where people come and go for another five hundred years. Finally, the boy came and slept against the trunk. Thousands of years of waiting, in exchange for only a moment of fate. Thinking from the perspective of Buddhism, love seems to be the hard work of steadfast waiting and long-term lovesickness.

In popular lyrics, there is such a description, "If I never loved you, I would not lose myself, the thorn of missing, nailing my position". "If there is no you, no past, I will not be sad; but if there is, I will still love you." From the perspective of lyrics and literature, love seems to be a kind of opiate that makes people lose themselves and confuse logical thinking.

Love in family, love in friendship, and even love in hobbies are all obvious and easy to characterize. But what is love in love like? Frankly I don't know. Although I'm not sure what love is, but as for what is not love, I think I can type out the description with relative certainty. It is not difficult to find many "warning articles" on the Internet, posting a love test that seems to have extremely high reliability and validity, and one after another give out "heart-protecting" tips, telling the world:

If you don't love, one is crying and the other is sleeping;

If you don't love, one person is working hard, and the other presses the phone;

Not in love is, one person is noisy, two people are lonely;

If you don't love, one person tries to shout, and the other tries to pretend to be deaf;

What I don't love is, in the huge airport, I look forward to a ship coming;

...Wait, wait, delete 153 million entries. Whether it's love that doesn't pay attention, love that's unequal, love without warmth, love that's procrastinated, love that can't be waited for, or other situations, it seems much easier to detect the lack of love than to detect the love. Because why love, there is no clear reason; but why not love, you can always find many excuses.

Excluding the situation of not loving, the rest is love? "It must be, unless it is not", can such a counter-inference be established? In fact, I also doubt, really guilty. If it is a one-sided show of favor, it is at most called unrequited love, secret love, or "pure fantasy", and it has no basic qualifications to be hooked up to the definition of "love". What is love? Frankly speaking, I still don't know.

Maybe think of it this way, if you know you don’t love him, but he still blushes to you, and tongue-tied; He, and he is still willing to get involved in emotional addiction that loses the ability to think and forgets his place. Then, there may be only one conclusion.

He loves you, loves you very much.