balderdash

I once dreamed that I was chatting with my dad as if nothing had happened.

It was a white, empty world. Whether it is the ground of the square where we are, the buildings next to it, or the three- to four-meter-high ceiling above our heads, they all breathe modern design aesthetics, but this place is unlike any other corner on the earth. To find the closest analogy, it might be the white room where Morpheus talks to Neo in The Matrix.

I was worrying about whether to attend a spring tea, so I wanted to hear what dad had to say. Maybe young people are always a little pretentious, and every dream should be like a spy movie. Maybe you will be killed if you attend, and if you don't go, you will offend the people in the world. After thinking about it, I still tend to attend first and then deal with it on the spot. Just when I was curious about why I could communicate normally with my dad, I changed back to my old self without saying a few words.

"Are you sure you want to take the risk and go?" He didn't want me to go at all.

"Do you know what's going on? If I must not go, why don't you just tell me why?"

"I don't need to explain to you. Don't you believe me now?" This statement made my whole body boil.

"So I asked if there was anything I should know! If they were your former enemies or something, of course I wouldn't go. I just need you to make it clear to me."

"Talking to you is a waste of time. You are simply selfish, playful, ignorant of life and death, and you still want to show off your strength in a life-or-death situation!"

Before I finished speaking, the air raid siren sounded loudly. My dad and I ran to take shelter and woke up soon after. When I opened my eyes, I remembered that my father had passed away many years ago. There were no critical moments of life or death in ordinary life. The alarm in the dream was just the sound of the alarm clock.

Ever since I was a child, my impression of my father has always been that he relied on being an adult and asserted that he must be right without any explanation. Children had no room for objection. This old victim script no longer applies to my relationship with him, but I never imagined that my childhood nightmare could still have some ripples after so many years as a so-called adult.

In daily life, no matter how hard we try to remain objective, we cannot escape the need to understand the world through our five senses and even our own upbringing. Everyone seems to be speaking a common language, but how can you be sure that the red clothes you wear are the same red in the eyes of others?

Looking at it this way, the time we think we are awake every day may end up living like a dream.