Xiaoyu's chaotic life-22: Fat Yu is not long-winded, I KO me with one blow

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When the Podcast of "Try to update every week" has not been updated for more than a month

After Xiaoyu entered the chaos, his body became a weather forecasting station, and if there was a slight change, he would start to feel uncomfortable.
The day the last episode was released ,
Power outage after reading a few pages in the morning (looks like he's asleep but doesn't know it),
I woke up and received a weather notification on my phone after 3:00 p.m. Well, it's obviously getting colder

At the same time, it was found that the Podcast's scheduled release time was set to the wrong date.
11/09 Tuesday 0700 set to 11/08 Monday,
The first thing I do after I get out of bed is to rewrite the verbatim, edit the post, and then I feel like the power is running out and I'm back to a muddy state (lie down)

Maybe it's because of the severe changes in the seasons in these few weeks. First, the temperature difference between day and night is large, the morning and evening are cool and cold, and at noon, the summer sun is shining at 30 degrees. This week, it suddenly became cold.
For the first time, I felt that the inside of Xiaoqi's store was actually warmer than the outside <br class="smart">It is not an exaggeration. On the first day of the cold, I saw the sky turned dark and left as soon as I walked out of the store. It was immediately frozen, but I lived very close, so I went back to my room to rest before I put on my thick hat and kicked to the clinic to return for a consultation.

Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

Fat Yu is not long-winded, one blow knocks me out

Said to be KO, it feels like being beaten on the head or repeatedly run over by a car, headache, heavy body, sleeping and waking up can only lie on the bed to make myself in a relatively "safe" state

After discussing with the doctor, it is very likely that my physical symptoms have become frequent and severe. Motivation is very low, either I have not slept, or I have been sleeping all the time, I will not be hungry or full, and I will use my eyes to see the amount of food to assess whether I have eaten enough. Assess the dehydration status of the body from the color of the urine, and drink as much water as possible. This is learned in sports science. If the color of the urine becomes thick,
Often athletes are already dehydrated, which can affect athletic performance

Perfect Bird Calendar All scheduled trips <br class="smart">In just one week, I missed psychiatry visits, consultations, psychiatry visits, and online courses that were finalized early. The instructor's frustration with my physical state , A sense of guilt towards a partner, and a rare opportunity to make money. A sense of powerlessness and deprivation that can only be forced to give up. Also because of missing a return visit, the medicine has been taken, and I personally experience severe withdrawal symptoms without warning for several days. Depression symptoms all come together, very miserable, really, don't rashly stop taking the drug by yourself

I was careless this time, and the doctor also read it,
In addition to the withdrawal symptoms that make you uncomfortable, there may also be some dangerous [*note]

 *Note:
The “withdrawal symptoms” of abrupt withdrawal of psychiatric drugs or sharply reduced doses and the “withdrawal response” of substance addiction have similar physiological principles. The sudden reduction or loss of drug assistance will trigger a violent chemical reaction in the body to restore a new balance.
A withdrawal reaction does not mean that psychiatric drugs will cause "addiction", but that the body is ill and needs drug assistance.
Substance addiction treatment will focus on minimizing the client's dependence on the substance.

Photo by Laurynas Mereckas on Unsplash

My head shell is not good, and it was created by the hospital registration system*[Note]

Because of the physical symptoms of this time of obesity (major depression), sometimes accompanied by some neuromuscular symptoms, the body will be tight here, there will be sore, and it will hurt from time to time, so I continue to do physical therapy at my own expense.

I used to have pain in the temporomandibular joint after eating, but it was almost resolved after a few treatments. Now the rehabilitation is to deal with the neuromuscular condition after frequent attacks, plus exercise and breathing training because I have not exercised well since I started to recover. And training muscle strength, physical fitness, and movement control have greatly degraded "My body is not my body" XD

Regarding my neuromuscular symptoms, my psychiatric clinic physician referred me to the neurosurgery department of Chengda University Hospital for a series of confirmation tests. It was only a few days before I wrote that I found out that the outpatient nurse has an appointment for the next visit at the end of each visit. The time inspection unit also helped me make an appointment for a return visit based on when they could issue a report.

Ah~~~ Then there will be one missed appointment, plus I missed the appointment to see the report in the week of the major depression.

My brain is not good, and the hospital registration system has been hollowed out.
No appointment twice within half a year, and can no longer use the appointment registration system

Strictly speaking, it's not my fault for the first missed appointment. I will think about the organizational system of a large hospital. It won't save time if I make a phone call to quarrel. Can the time match the inspection unit?

It's hard to see a report

 *Note [Taiwanese Orthography]
(X) Chong Kang (O) Chuang Kong (tshòng-khang)

Pronunciation blocked:
https://tinyurl.com/yx3rguo9

【Taiwanese ê Booklet Paper】Taiwanese Information Arrangement:
https://junhaoshihmd.blogspot.com/p/ohtaigi.html

Recommended song: Good Band "Evaporation"

I love the way the lead singer murmurs in the chorus, "You're like evaporating"
For me now, death is like evaporating, becoming gaseous

There were several sessions where I discussed my pain, my vulnerability, the feeling that the will to survive was waning,
My psychologist asked me, "Are you trying to tell me that you've walked through the gates of hell?"
I said, "No, I know I'm in pain, but I also know that feeling this pain means I'm far from death."

This is how this song makes me feel, my friend said that I described this song as terrifying

Recommended novel: "Indiscriminate Lover"

The author, Qiqi, is from Macau. She is a pen pal I met on the Matters writing platform. This is an e-book work she published independently.
Because she organized the reading experience essay writing activity in her own name, I noticed that the literary book of this book is basically beyond my reading range, and the authors who are not very willing to take the initiative to come out to ask for their reading experience, I think it is very interesting.

After reading it, the feeling it gave me was very similar to " Want to See You ", neither a comedy nor a tragedy,
There are more branches of the plot, and after they are finally gathered together,
Let’s go back to the complete world view of “Indiscriminate Lover”. I like that every character is full of life,
Everyone has their own likes, dislikes, and unspoken feelings that only they understand.

As a reader, there is a sense of heaviness and powerlessness that I can only watch things happen. I am slowly writing my reading experience, hoping to catch up with the deadline for her essay writing activity at the end of the year.

"Undifferentiated Lover" after reading activities @qiqi

To quote a small passage from the book,
It is to describe the inner world of a man who suffered a major family change that resonates very much, and is emotionally frozen by Xiaoyu. That's it.

[Blog to] https://wwhowbuhow.pse.is/3zsz3q
[Reading TAAZE] https://wwhowbuhow.pse.is/3x5fwg
[Readmoo reading ink e-book] http://moo.im/a/3jxDEM

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Other e-book access links provided by author Qiqi:

[Kobo] https://www.kobo.com/tw/zh/ebook/y7b7dnrQYTyry_wR2i8rMw
[Pubu] https://www.pubu.com.tw/ebook/257172
[Hami] https://reurl.cc/zWZggN
[Taiwan Man Reading] https://reurl.cc/ox1zzM
[Google] https://wwhowbuhow.pse.is/3wvk5y

This time Xiaoyu is good or not, what I want to tell you is "Fat Yu is not long-winded, I will be KO in one blow"
After I wake up and open my eyes, I still have to face life, eat, bathe, sleep, treat, consult and rebuild

The content of the program is based on personal experience sharing. I like it. You may not like what suits me. It may not be suitable for everyone. Experience can be used as a reference and cannot be used as a substitute for individual treatment. Psychological counseling and physiotherapy

This time Xiaoyu is here. Thank you for listening or reading here.
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I'm a dead battery and a chicken cake. Hey, are you okay?

// The original text was published in the narrative column of Medium and Podcast episodes, supplemented and rewritten with the transcript of the recording//

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