Anonymous Love Letter - A Love Letter to the Depressed

I am very entangled when choosing representative songs. On the one hand, I am not interested in music, and most of the songs are only listened to by people. On the other hand, among the songs I have heard so far, there are many songs that I feel good. , but there are basically no songs that resonate strongly with me.

First, two songs that I considered but didn't choose. Mayday's "Smoke", the beautiful expectations for life and the courage to live a life without regrets expressed in the song, still have the effect of comforting and inspiring me. Zheng Zhihua's "Don't Cry, My Favorite Person", I hope this song will be played at my funeral, but unfortunately my current life is not worthy of the lyrics "I am destroyed in the brightest moment". Only after my death can I be sure whether it represents me or not.

I met "Love Letters Without a Name" more than a month ago, and after listening to it, I fell in love with it. The mood that this song shows is very suitable for my situation, so I want to use it as a representative song.

This song is very nice, of course, what attracts me the most is the lyrics of Tongying. The complete lyrics will not be released, and readers are advised to listen to them first: Bilibili , YouTube .

I've read other people's analysis of the meaning of lyrics, and my feelings are not exactly the same as the author's, but I generally agree with their analysis of the lyrics. I won't analyze all the lyrics in detail, just mention the parts that impressed me, and talk about some personal feelings.

The knife will not have a second chance to cut through the veins,

Afraid of the pain, I would rather live in a breathless state.

When I was in severe depression, I occasionally thought that if the pain in the body was more severe, it might ease the pain in the mind. Some people self-harm to get close to death, punish themselves, etc. for different reasons, and I don't fully understand them. However, I have never self-injured myself. My thinking is that self-mutilation will not help improve the reality of the situation, it will only add to the pain, and the scars will make people who come into contact with me aware of my depression, which may cause trouble.

Cutting the wrist is not an ideal method of suicide, it is time-consuming, technically difficult, and prone to failure. I'm more inclined to drink bullets, take poison, drown or jump off a building, all of which are time-consuming ways of committing suicide. However, paraquat must not be selected for taking the poison. The death process after listening to the poison is painful and long. Some people say that a hunger strike is the only acceptable way to kill yourself, but I don't want to choose.

Just passing by, please listen to me:

"Don't be too kind to me, I'm afraid that when I die, thinking of you will be reluctant. 』

I totally understand this feeling. I once thought that I don't know when I will choose to commit suicide, and maybe I won't live for many years. If so, what's the point of making friends now? I am concerned about my friends and will inevitably regret before committing suicide, and my death will bring friends into grief. In the end we all get hurt, and it's better not to know each other at all. But I didn't act according to this judgment, and I didn't stop on my own initiative to observe people and make friends. Maybe I have a hard time controlling myself in this regard.

I warm the snow and ice with my body, and it's getting harder.

Try to learn how to cut flesh to feed the eagle, but it actually hates to go around.

Take the blood from the heart to feed the devil, it is more fishy than the internal organs of the fish.

You feel that all my goodness and tenderness are but a bubble on the surface.

The first few sentences are not very deep, and I have not helped many people so far. If you talk about a similar situation, it means that you want to understand the psychology of others, but you are clearly rejected, but that is normal, after all, not everyone is willing to be spied on.

The last sentence is deeply felt. I consider myself to be kind, but so far I have not really provided anyone with great help. I can only give people comfort and spiritual support, and have not improved the illness or situation of others.

I also can't do it without hurting others, even though I don't want to. Some people say that depression is the gentlest disease, not at all. The concentration and thinking ability of patients with depression often decline, which in turn affects study, work and life, and even cannot maintain a normal state in severe cases. In addition, some people are at risk of drug withdrawal, self-harm and suicide, and relatives and friends need to always take care of them. These events can affect those around the patient, causing them to feel fear, anxiety, and grief, reduce their quality of life, and have to sacrifice their time and energy to care for the patient. The people around the depressed person are usually also suffering from deep pain...

You send the tenderest touch of spring and give me an instant fading.

Give me the brightest star of the summer night, but it disintegrates into foam.

Qiuguodongqing also disdains to live with me.

How can I be so worthy of your special trip?

I have met many people who are willing to show kindness to me, and there are many people around me who love me. When I am depressed, I often feel sorry for them. Depression is like a black hole, perhaps not as good as a black hole. After all, black holes do not really swallow matter, and depression can swallow all care and kindness, while continuing to sink into the abyss. People around me also feel helpless and lost after several unsuccessful efforts, and unfortunately, I cannot help them.

So, sometimes I'm afraid of others showing kindness, or expressing feelings for me. I can't help but think I'm unworthy, don't come near me, I don't want to hurt or drag you down.

Maybe there is no place for me in this world,

You said you want to break through the void and build a new kingdom for me.

Tongying later explained that the "you" in the lyrics actually refers to the recovered self. I feel the same way when listening to songs, especially when I hear this lyric. If the world lacks my shelter, then I can try to create my own shelter - belonging does not come naturally, even a safe haven in cyberspace is created by sentimental predecessors.

"May you meet someone you hold dear. 』

It's a pity that the person who will be by your side in the future will not be me.

I basically have the same wishes for my friends. I long to be a person who is left in place, watching the people who care about their path to happiness, even if they no longer pay attention to me. Whether these friends are positive or negative, happy or depressed, I sincerely hope they drift away from me.

You say that the body is not warm, snow and ice, because of the cold top of the high mountain.

The eagle that cuts its flesh and rushes to its nest is because it hears the song of the chicks.

The devil does not eat blood because he is afraid of the clear star in his pupil.

And all my goodness and tenderness are worthy of recognition.

The reverse narration at the end is the lyrical highlight.

This lyric reflects the difference in mentality between depressed patients and bystanders. Depressed people see things in a negative way, often leading to distress, hopelessness, and self-loathing. Healthy people generally cannot understand the thinking process of "seeking trouble", and even feel that depression is just thinking too much and not being satisfied. However, patients with depression can actually think positively, which is very obvious in the depression super talk on Weibo. Patients will comfort and encourage each other with a positive and friendly attitude. It's just that our positive thinking is difficult to consciously apply to ourselves. Even if we actively think about problems with an optimistic attitude, the conclusions we draw are easily defeated by negative emotions.

Under the negative mentality of patients with depression, there are actually countless psychological struggles, positive and negative, hope and disappointment are constantly alternating. We have repeated the words of others comforting and admonishing us many times in our hearts, and even so, we cannot escape our pain—a big reason why we tend to devalue ourselves and distance ourselves from others.

"The most beautiful scenery in the world is the life after breaking through despair. 』

I am moved by this sentence, and I am also moved by Tong Ying's understanding and care for patients with depression. I believe that many patients can find comfort from it.

I may not have a day to break through despair, I accept despair and build hope in despair, so despair and hope merge and coexist in the spiritual world.

You came across mountains and rivers, and embraced me tenderly:

"Never underestimate yourself, you deserve everyone's love. 』

I would like to send this message to anyone struggling with depression or depression.

"Anonymous Love Letter" is really good. It not only fits the mood of depressed patients, but also provides effective comfort. I have heard Hua Chenyu's song for depression, "I Really Want to Love This World", but it didn't resonate. The emotions and psychology it expresses are too "light" for me. But many people say they are comforted, maybe the difference is that I don't want to love the world.

I also like another song written by Ying Tong, " If I Die Suddenly ". There are also bright spots in the lyrics, and it is very characteristic to talk about death with a brisk melody. I like the version of the cover of Qiqiyiyue the most, and here are some good lyrics. By the way, I don't believe in an afterlife, or rather don't want one.

Lonely for a long time

but afraid of the light

if i die suddenly

please forget me

Forget the time that was with me

Forgetting is nothing but sadness

Just let me be buried in your memory

Wait for the years to grow

No one remembers my past

It would be better if even existence completely perished

in this bad world

Tear the heavy chains to give birth to wings

Is there a warm and gentle light in the next life?

Finally, I would like to recommend "1-800-273-8255", the song title is the number of the American suicide prevention hotline. It turned out that this song was not quiet enough, but after the actual measurement, it was found that it could be accompanied by falling asleep. This song is very good, I suggest you find the original version and listen to it.

Pain don't hurt the same, I know

The lane I travel feels alone

But I'm moving 'til my legs give out

And I see my tears melt in the snow

But I don't wanna cry

I don't wanna cry anymore

I wanna feel alive

I don't even wanna die anymore

Oh I don't wanna

I don't wanna

I don't even wanna die anymore

The final paragraph with a whimper, the design is ingenious and intriguing. Is he struggling, or is he sad that he must continue to face a bad life, or is he happy that he has crossed the line of life and death?

I hope you enjoy these songs, and my articles. It is my hope and honor if you know more about depression as a result.

I've thought about how I want ordinary people to think about people with depression, senseless, condescending sympathy is disgusting, I'd rather be treated like an ordinary person - I hate speech that makes people look at other people's suffering to understand contentment, I don't want to Comparing people's pain rashly, not wanting to base their happiness on the pain of innocents, let alone being used as a talking point and a stepping stone to obtain happiness; understanding is very difficult, and most people who can understand depression are themselves. In a predicament, understanding is not a luxury. In the end, what I recognize is tolerance. I hope that even if people do not understand and pay no attention to people with depression, they can have a friendly, respectful and tolerant attitude when encountering these people.