Read｜FBI Negotiation Techniques

📘Read the book title

FBI Negotiation Techniques (Best-Selling New Edition): Life is a series of negotiations, follow the chief negotiator to create win-win negotiations

📖Reading Notes｜💡Mind Map

Appendix Summary of Negotiations

The summary of negotiations is divided into five parts

• Part One: Goals

• Part 2: Summary

• Part Three: Labeling/Inventory Charges

• Part 4: Calibration Problems

• Part 5: What else can you offer besides money?

See the complete notes in 💡mind map

📝Reading experience

This book mainly talks about "tactical empathy". Empathy comes from mirror neurons in neuroscience, fear in emotions, bodhicitta in Buddhism, active listening in consultation, etc. This tactical empathy is in negotiation Another aspect of empathy in negotiation, and its skills are mostly modified from negotiation. "Tactical empathy" refers to understanding the other party's current mood and mentality, and hearing what is underneath the feelings, thereby affecting the next step. moment of negotiation. Empathy can be roughly divided into "emotional empathy" and "cognitive empathy". Tactical empathy belongs to cognitive empathy.

The relationship between negotiators with high EQ and their opponents is actually like psychotherapy. One side is the psychotherapist and the other side is the patient. Psychotherapists will explore many ways to find out the patient's problem, and then throw the patient's reaction back to them, allowing them to further explore themselves and change their behavior. The job of a negotiator is actually just that.

Checking out accusations is called stealing mines in NLP. Labeling is similar to the frame-changing method in NLP. I think in addition to labeling emotions, it is more interesting to label characters. In "Influence", the author reveals that he is a spy who sneaks in to learn sales. When using skills, if it is under the "spy frame", the other party will definitely not agree to the disclosure of the content in the book. However, the author unintentionally uses the "learning frame", that is, in the communication between the two parties, the other party is given the role of teacher. In this script, the other party is willing to disclose his sales skills in the book because he can "teach" knowledge to a university professor (instead of "stealing" the knowledge). There is also a shadow of him in this.

Another key point mentioned in the book, "Unconditional Positive Care," is derived from Rogers' humanistic psychology. As the name suggests, it is people-centered. A teacher once recommended "Becoming a Person", but I still prefer cognitive behavioral therapy. , NLP (Milton, Satyr, Gestalt), TA and other schools of thought. I have recently gone through the NLP books written by Japanese authors, but I can’t find satisfactory content. The current introductory book is "Reshaping the Mind" written by Li Zhongying from the other side. Gotta be better.

Recently I re-read "The Treasure Map of Sustainable Growth". For me, I think the most useful NLP methods are the frame-changing method, the meta-model, and the Milton model. There are three types of language programs: deletion, distortion, and generalization. In the early version, the direct definition of Milton mode is the opposite of the meta-mode. Under this structure, the integration of upper stack, lower cut, and parallel is simple and clear.

• On the pile - Classify upwards - Analogy - Milton model - Use "deletion, distortion, generalization" to blur

• Cutting down—categorizing downward—concrete—metamodel—concrete “deletion, distortion, and generalization”

• Parallel - Lateral classification - Comparison - Metaphor

Returning to this book, the following "Calibration Questions (Targeted Open Questions)" can also be found in more detailed open-ended questions, active listening, and empathy skills in books on helping skills for entry-level counseling. Boundless, slowly integrate and sort out.

📚Extended reading

• Say no as soon as you open your mouth: 14 strategies for winning negotiations

• Say no as soon as you open your mouth: 28 practice questions for winning negotiations

• A sure-fire way to win sales

• Harvard Business School’s Win-Win Negotiation Course

• Seduction, mind grabbing, brainwashing, hypnosis

• impression brainwashing

• Becoming a Person: A Therapist's Perspective on Psychotherapy

• The Way of Being: Humanistic Psychologist Carl. Rogers on relationships, the soul, and the world of tomorrow

• Helping Skills: Catalyzing Discovery, Insight, and Action (5th Edition)

• The Process and Skills of Helping Others: Effective Helpers (3rd Edition)

• Counseling and Psychotherapy: Theory and Practice (4th Edition)

• Introduction to Counseling Theory and Technology: An Introductory Map for Counseling Learners (Volume 1 and 2)