李怡，1936年生，香港知名時事評論家、作家。1970年曾創辦雜誌《七十年代》，1984年更名《九十年代》，直至1998年停刊。後在《蘋果日報》撰寫專欄，筆耕不輟半世紀。著有文集《放逐》、《思緒》、《對應》等十數本。正在Matters連載首部自傳《失敗者回憶錄》：「我一生所主張所推動的事情，社會總是向相反趨向發展，無論是閱讀，獨立思考或民主自由都如是。這就是我所指的失敗的人生。」

Memoirs of a Loser 198: The Past I Want To Forget, But I Can't

Sep 27, 2022

Several times, I couldn't help but take to the streets to stand with the valiant protesters and support them spiritually. But I was stopped by a young man. He said that your going will only increase the burden on the protesters. Therefore, apart from the parade, I have only participated in one silver-haired protest movement and one hand-in-hand human chain event in Hong Kong.

"I want to forget, but I can't forget the past." Speaking of the anti-extradition, a reader said this. I know many Hong Kong people feel the same way.

"Want to forget," just like when a loved one dies and you have to go your own way, you can't keep that loved one in your head. So does a city that once gave you freedom and countless opportunities. It's dead, and you can't stay in nostalgia forever. You either leave or adapt.

"The past that cannot be forgotten" is because this past is extremely heroic. It is a historical fault. It is unlikely to appear again. Its ending was a tragedy, but who could have guessed that it wouldn't be the life of the future?

In any case, the truth must be remembered. As the Czech writer Kundera said: "The struggle of mankind against power is the struggle of memory and forgetting."

On June 9, 2019, one million people participated in a peaceful demonstration against extradition. At that time, including me, no one thought the demonstrations would be fruitful. At that time I said, "We came out only because we are dignified people. Pigs will still cry a few times when they are killed. How can people be inferior to pigs and silently let the evil laws be slaughtered? How can we tolerate a person who has the protection of the law for everyone? Society, a society where everyone is naked and subject to rape?”

Sure enough, the demonstration of one million people was useless, and the Lam regime still decided to force through the bill on June 12 under the escort of the Legislative Council establishment. So, starting on the morning of June 12, a large number of citizens flocked to the Legislative Council to prevent the meeting. Police used force in the afternoon, handing out more than 200 tear gas and rubber bullets, injuring more than 80 demonstrators, some seriously. The Legislative Council was suspended. Carrie Lam announced on the 15th that the amendments would be suspended.

June 12 marked the beginning of the excessive use of force by the police in the anti-extradition movement, the beginning of the conflict between the police and the people, and the beginning of the courageous struggle to produce results (to prevent the passage of the bill). The magnificent anti-extradition movement started from this day.

The events that followed throughout the year were shocking and unexpected. On 6.16, a demonstration of two million people broke out. From the Eastern District to Admiralty on Hong Kong Island, all roads and subway stations are crowded. Because of my old age, a friend suggested that I take a taxi to Wan Chai to join the parade. But even so, because there are too many people, walking is like a snail squirming. After two hours of walking, I only walked a short distance. I went home tired.

On 6.16, two million citizens put forward five demands: completely withdraw the revised draft of the Fugitive Offenders Ordinance, withdraw the authorities' characterization of the riots on 6.12, not prosecute all arrested protesters, investigate the police force for abuse of power, and resign and step down.

The government still ignored the demands of two million people, and incidents of police brutality and anti-violence continued. On July 1, the Legislative Yuan was attacked. On July 21, the police allowed the underworld to attack passersby indiscriminately in Yuen Long. On August 31, the police beat the passengers with sticks in the subway car at Prince Edward Station. In September, the naked body of a 15-year-old girl, Chen Yanlin, was found in the sea. The government hurriedly cremated the body, saying that she committed suicide and that she was an excellent swimmer. In November, 22-year-old University student Zhou Zile fell from the parking lot on the third floor during a clash between the police and the people and died of serious injuries. He had no broken limbs and suffered serious injuries to his torso. The cause of his death has been questioned on multiple fronts.

The Chinese University and the Polytechnic University broke out a fierce offensive and defensive battle between the police and the anti-violent students. The students were besieged and escaped by various means, and Hong Kong citizens rallied to support the students. In addition, there have been reports of arrested protesters being beaten and raped in detention facilities. The live broadcasts on TV and online stations every day, and the lies at the police press conference the next day, have fundamentally changed the concept of the silent majority.

Every day I watch TV footage of the police beating the protesters with tear gas, rubber bullets and even live ammunition. I am angry and saddened by the brave struggle of young people. For many nights, I have been staring at the TV, wanting to see the development of the offensive and defensive battle between CUHK and PolyU, and want to see young people escape and be rescued. With tears in my eyes, I told those young people not to hit the pebble with the pebble! But I can't say it, and I can't write it. Because I know that these brave young people, when the peaceful means are exhausted and cannot get the response from the government, they only feel free in the struggle and experience the true friendship of unknowing siblings.

There have been many text and video reports on the whole year's anti-extradition process, and I have compiled my comments this year into a book. The description will not be repeated here. But some numbers should probably be left over, that is, more than 7,000 people have been arrested by the anti-extradition movement as of March 2020; from June to September 2019, there were 256 suicides and 2,537 "corpse discoveries" . How did these corpses show up? The fact that protesters were tortured to death and illegally "handled" is no longer an urban legend in Hong Kong, but a social consensus.

In the years before 2019, the political, social and economic erosion of Hong Kong in mainland China has made me, who has lived in Hong Kong for 70 years, unfamiliar. Unexpectedly, in 2019, Hong Kong people rose up to fight for social rights, and that kind of dedication also made me feel unfamiliar. The strangeness of the former frustrates me; the strangeness of the latter surprises me. I ask myself that I have a deep understanding of the characteristics of Hong Kong people. Hong Kong people are shrewd and know how to turn around while abiding by the law. But how did it become a year of self-interest and the courage to sacrifice to bring about social change?

For me, who was 83 at the time, it was a whole new realization. Hong Kong people have woken up. Power can suppress the behavior of an awakened person, but it cannot suppress this awakening. When given the opportunity, show it in different ways. For example, after the death of the Queen of England, the endless stream of people, dragons and flowers is what the people want, and it is also a silent protest against power.