When a child goes to school for the first time, how can parents reduce anxiety and cope?

(Actually, this is a post published on the Facebook community on August 7, 2020. In the past two years, it has received more than 500 likes and comments from netizens, and I still receive feedback one after another today, so I chose to let it be in the form of an article)

Many parents and elders are always afraid of their children’s crying. As long as the children cry, it seems to be ripped apart. When the parents themselves disagree with their children’s schooling and are worried and fearful, it will affect the children’s resistance to going to school even more. , you might as well accompany your child to face challenges with a positive attitude. Don't keep asking your child: "Do you still want to go to school? Is it fun to go to school?" Say you like school? Going to school is to be regulated. Children who always go their own way can't like to be prescribed schedules and rules. When you give your child a chance to say no, you just throw the ball back to yourself , and then become self-doubt and start to ask online if you should let it go. Child out of school?

What I do is to let the children realize that going to school is an inevitable process of growing up . Everyone must go to school. Mom and Dad also went to school before. You can only go to school because you grew up and became a sister! Going to school can learn more things, and there are a lot of interesting things about to happen, but also propose that the school has many courses that children like, and let her take a look at the photos of her at school. When I see pictures of myself crying, I will ask her: "Why are you crying?", I will not stress to my children that you must eat all your meals or take a nap at school. After all, it takes time to adapt to an unfamiliar environment. Tell the child: "If you don't like to eat, you should eat more. It doesn't matter if you can't fall asleep at noon, you can close your eyes and rest."

NG question:

1. Do you have to go to school tomorrow?

(Isn't this a sign of wanting a child to say no?)

2. Is the school food delicious? Have you finished eating?

(Unless the child is not a picky eater, most children definitely prefer to go home to eat)

3. Do you miss your parents very much?

( Parents shouldn’t keep brushing their presence to make their children feel more insecure . They will think that their parents are normal. If they keep asking, they will really not want to go to school.)

4. Did the teacher hit you?

(If you don’t find any scars when you bathe the child, and the child doesn’t express anything at all, don’t ask this kind of question randomly, the child’s imagination is very broad, and he is likely to give a random answer because of this. Yes, do parents have the ability to deal with it? Or do you hate yourself asking questions?)

My question:

1. Who do you want to pick you up after school today?

(Who is referring to which doll, directly let the child know that there is no choice but to go to school, but you can choose who to see first when you are happy after school?)

2. If you could walk into the classroom obediently without crying, what would you like to eat after school?

(I used this trick yesterday and it really worked. The child did not collapse and cry, but entered the classroom with red eyes, and I also went home from school and let the child eat the pudding he wanted.)

Today, when I saw a photo of a Virgo daughter with her handprints breaking down and crying, I said to my husband, "She must be afraid of getting her hands dirty, so she cried." But our husband and wife didn't feel particularly distressed. I am very glad that my daughter still cooperates with the teacher to complete the things she doesn’t want to do. The teacher also expressed her understanding that the child does not like to have handprints after school. After taking the pictures, the teacher said to her daughter, “Hurry up and go. Wash your hands!" My husband and I burst into laughter when the teacher said that my daughter rushed to wash her hands.

Learning to grow up in the face of setbacks and compromises is a necessary process. I don’t think it will be better to learn when you are older. On the contrary, it is difficult to get through the first setbacks when you are older. In the protective umbrella, when one day you find that everything is just an illusion, the resentment will be deeper and more unacceptable. It is better to slowly train your frustration ability from a young age, and every setback can be more stable. Although it is painful, it accumulates more energy.

The tears of a child's frustration don't let us stop her from growing , but thank her for having the opportunity to hone in on her to become a better her.

Today, two years later, the child's ability to adapt to class is very good, and he loves learning and trusts the teacher. He will take the initiative to help the teacher and classmates at school, and he will also actively review school homework and homework when he returns home. I remember things clearly, I am very grateful to each teacher for their help and encouragement, and I am very pleased with the growth and progress of the children.