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Read the note "Why do we think this way and do that?" 》

Jun 28, 2022

★Is character determines destiny, or behavior determines the future? By understanding your inner character and being aware of the underlying motives of your actions, you too can move toward the life you want.

●When other people see you, they will automatically ask two questions. Are you kind, warm, and trustworthy? And: Do you have the ability, power and status? So why do we do this? This involves our survival. Are you a friend or an enemy? Is it a threat, or a hope?

●We are born with at least two goals in mind. One is survival and the other is reproduction. If we were not committed to survival, nor to reproduction, human beings would be long gone as a species.

● First, first impressions are formed quickly and are difficult to change. Furthermore, we tend to be more skeptical of each other than kind. This is known as the "Smoke Detector Principle". When humans become suspicious and think that something is not right, their hearts will sound the alarm. We are quick to spot the weaknesses rather than the strengths of others because it helps us survive. In addition, we are also very reluctant to change our impression of each other. This is called "Confirmation Bias"; it's a tendency in human behavior to involuntarily, selectively focus on information that confirms our own pre-existing perceptions.

●We have a hormone called "Oxytocin" in our body, which is sometimes called the lactation hormone, or the calming hormone. Oxytocin levels in our bodies increase when we communicate with or hug someone. Studies have even shown that when someone's oxytocin levels are elevated, he or she acts more thoughtfully and generously. The truth is that you can show a little bit of trust in someone and their oxytocin levels will increase. At the same time, certain actions or word choice can reduce the level of oxytocin in the other person's body. In other words, our actions affect oxytocin levels in other people, which in turn affects our relationships.

● The competition for status leads us to compare ourselves with others. In fact, we don't want to do that either. Whose house is the most luxurious? Who has the most extravagant vacation itinerary? Whose child is the smartest? Of course, at first glance these comparisons are meaningless and annoying, but knowing one's place in the class system satisfies the function of evolution. That said, this reduces harm and conflict.

●Humans belong to a species that searches for knowledge. According to the seventeenth-century philosopher Thomas Hobbes, humans need to understand "why." "The more we understand the world we live in, the better our chances of survival" is because evolution has given us the instinct to seek new knowledge. When we successfully acquire new knowledge, the reward center in the brain is activated and dopamine is released. In short, our curiosity helps us understand the world we live in, deal with our environment, and adapt to it—all in the name of survival. In addition, interest in other people also contributes to the creation and continuation of social structure.

●A few suggestions to help improve your life:

1. Focus on similarities.

2. To imitate each other. The mirror effect makes us like each other more, increasing the chances of reaching consensus.

3. Choose whom to influence.

4. Choose what drives you.

5. Express appreciation.

6. Handle social rejection situations.

7. Regulate your loneliness.

8. Commit to a small but deep relationship.

9. Learn to handle exposure levels.

10. Think more than just follow.

11. The power to disrupt social influence.

12. Have the courage to think differently.

13. Act in front of your audience.

14. Motivated by being slightly behind.

15. Don't give up (at the outset).

16. Only compare with small groups.

17. Give hugs.

18. Trust each other.

19. Handle tough relationships.

20. Drop destructive relationships.

21. Take the measure of gossip.

22. Get everyone into the game.

~ Doctor of Psychology / Angela. Angela Ahola

~ "Why do we think this way and do that? : From motivation, choice to change, Sweden's most popular lecturer will take you towards your ideal life and embrace happiness and peace! 》

~ "Dina dolda drivkrafter: Hur tre psykologiska behov styr ditt liv"

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【Ichidori】

The name is taken from the Chinese transliteration of Japanese "おひとり", which means a person.

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