蔡凱西
蔡凱西

Cathy Tsai | 蔡凱西 台北人 / 不專業旅人 / 流浪中的學術人 / 研究旅行史與旅行文化的不良歷史學徒/《後綴》假掰文青誌編輯群 在出門旅行、閱讀,與作古的旅記文本中持續穿越 佛系粉專:https://www.facebook.com/travelhistorystory 合作邀約:misiaa2001@gmail.com

38 casually: How will those SAY NO girls be treated?

(edited)
Understanding a woman's NO is the same as Greek to many Chinese
Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

Internet celebrity Xu Shushu reprinted an article titled "A woman's NO is equal to a fraction of rejection ". The party mentioned that when he refused a request made by a vicious man, he was instead choked by the other party's "most refusal." It’s better to think about it carefully.” It was useless to hide in the toilet for a while, and the other party chased into the elevator and continued to “persuasion”, which made the party feel harassed and disrespected, and threatened to go to the school’s sex fair, and the other party apologized.

In fact, this incident is not a single case. I believe that many girls living in Taiwan have encountered this kind of situation when the other party hears the girl SAY NO. Pretend not to understand your rejection.

Moreover, it is not only the kind of evil men encountered by the above-mentioned parties, who do not distinguish between men and women, and their heads are full of patriarchal consciousness, especially women are regarded as a lower rank/order than him. People have this symptom.

When a girl is a girl, some families often only teach girls to keep a distance from strange strangers; don't open the door to let strange uncles/aunts come in, or blame uncles/aunts to take you to play and refuse. For example, my house is like this. But this kind of SAY NO education is often a half set.

As I get older, I gradually realize that in situations where rejection is necessary, the object is often not a strange stranger, but an acquaintance, an elder, or a romantic lover who has a relationship between upper and lower powers. These people are more in love than themselves. Girls who are young or in a relationship say SAY NO to him as "rude", "immature and sensible", "lack of thoughtfulness", and even more rudely, they directly call girls "stinky three-eight" and "eighty" , "I don't know what is good or bad", and then in the name of "for your own good, I will not harm you", repeatedly "male preaching" to girls, trying to break the girl's SAY NO into SAY YES.

If it weren't for the poor personality like me, the more challenged it would become, the more angry I would feel. Even if I was scolded as a bastard, I wouldn't be afraid. Many girls often compromised under the abduction of the fine ethical and moral culture of gentleness, courtesy, and thrift. This makes those patriarchs believe that it is immature for a girl to say no directly, and she does not know the seriousness of the matter. As long as she talks to the girl, or even scolds it a bit harshly, the girl can be persuaded.

Perhaps some people in the society generally think that "girls SAY NO is to be" and "girls SAY NO still has a chance to make him become SAY YES", which stems from the above background. Of course, there are other reasons, such as the kind of plot that often appears in fan films, you know what I mean (raise your eyebrows).


I have encountered situations where I was rejected and became angry and came to scold me;

When I was in college, I refused an elder to go sightseeing in Hong Kong and bought a backpack for me. He said that I have nothing like a girl, so he gave me a delicate backpack, hoping that I can become more and more feminine ( By North). But the backpack I bought from Hong Kong is really ugly, so ugly that I don't want to accept it at all. As a result, "male preaching" and even intimidation came in overwhelming numbers:

You don't want the brand-name backpack you bought for you from Hong Kong. What's the point of not wanting it? Really ignorant and thirty-eight, why are you so thirty-eight!
You can't refuse a backpack that someone kindly buys for you, even if you don't like it, tell me you like it!

After all, how fragile is the psychological quality of these elders who are in high positions of power? They need to use this way of abuse and intimidation to force a female junior to accept that ugly and deadly backpack? At that time, I was not as bad as I am now, so I accepted that ugly bag under pressure, but I couldn't swallow it very much.

After a year or two, when everyone gradually forgot about the brand-name ugly bag incident, I secretly threw it away. My mother suddenly remembered this incident one day, and I assumed that he must have remembered it wrongly, and I confiscate the bag at all.

As I get older, my SAY NO will become less and less likely to convince me to say SAY YES. In fact, these patriarchal eyes, facing the rejection of girls, do not understand, but often pretend to not understand, want to use the position of their elders to play a problem-free attitude, and constantly test the bottom line of girls , The more polite you are to these people, the less you can clearly express that SAY NO is really NO, and the more they feel that you owe them education. In fact, they are the ones who really lack normal character education, or are often educated by fans, so they always make up their minds that girls want to say no, or they may become saying yes.

There is no law forbidding women to say NO to things they don't like, but women have so many constraints, so many unfriendly malice and shadows in real life. I hope that one day, girls don't need to run to hide in the toilet because they are afraid of saying SAY NO to others, or take back the right to SAY NO because of being intimidated.

Then I now hope that those patriarchal eyes that don't take girls' SAY NO seriously will die as soon as possible, and leave soon! In another world, there is no clothes to wear, and it will not be burned for you, so you can run naked in hell!


CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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