教会孩子快乐，是对他最大的帮助（双语）

Any form of help essentially revolves around wishing for others' happiness. Happiness is, in fact, a skill that requires learning and practice to master. Therefore, the greatest assistance parents and teachers can give children is helping them develop the “ability to be happy”, so that they can experience the joys of life more fully in the future.

Here are the specific points I can think of:

任何形式的帮助，本质上都是希望对方获得快乐。而快乐实际上是一项技能，需要学习和训练才能掌握。因此，父母和老师能给孩子的最大帮助，就是帮助他们发展“快乐的能力”，让孩子在未来能更充分地体验人生的乐趣。

以下是我能想到的具体要点：

1.  Help children learn through problem-solving.

Children should not be educated or trained to become experts in a single subject, because all knowledge is actually interdisciplinary. If possible, schools should change the current teaching pattern where each class focuses on one subject. By eliminating the restrictions of subjects and the traditional teacher-centered approach, schools could assign students more practical and concrete tasks, such as “earning as much money as possible with a starting capital of £20 over a semester.” As students engage in such meaningful tasks, they will naturally discover and attempt to solve problems. Instead of being spoon-fed knowledge passively, they may proactively seek help and assistance from teachers or textbooks, developing self-learning abilities that better prepare them to adapt to future challenges in a changing environment.

1.  教孩子学会从问题中学习，

孩子不应被教育成单一学科的专家，因为所有知识实际上都是跨学科的。现在学校每堂课只教一门学科，如果可能，要改变这种教育模式。要打通学科间的壁垒，打破传统的教师授课模式，由此，学校可以为学生布置更具体的、可操作的任务，例如“在一学期时间内，以20英镑为启动资金，赚尽可能多的钱”。随着学生投入这类有意义的任务中，他们自然会发掘并解决遇到的问题。他们会主动向老师或书本寻求帮助，而不是被迫接受知识的灌输。这会培养他们的自学能力，有利于在未来的风云变幻中，从容应对种种挑战。

2.  Help children to understand mind-body connection.

People inevitably experience anxiety. What we need to do is to teach children to self-rescue during emotional crises. It is essential to help children understand that all of their states of mind have physiological causes. Parents or teachers can take children to exercise, consciously guiding them to focus on the physiological changes brought about by physical activity and its impact on emotions. Thus, when facing various seemingly significant life crises such as marriage or business failures in the future, they will not overly fixate on these irretrievable facts, because fundamentally, mood is strongly influenced by the body's state rather than external conditions. Even if facts are irrevocable, bodies are always adjustable. In other words, this helps children avoid becoming overly immersed in the metaphysical illusion that the mind is independent of the body, and enables them to realize there are many practical ways to intervene in their own inner spiritual world, rather than feeling that negative emotions are insurmountable or being helpless due to their perceived incompetence.

2. 教孩子理解“身”与“心”的联系。

人总无法避免焦虑。我们要做的是让孩子在应对情感危机时学会自救。至关重要的一点在于，要理解一切内心感受都受生理因素左右。父母或老师可以陪孩子一起锻炼，有意识地引导孩子关注运动所带来的生理变化，及其对情绪的影响。于是，当孩子在未来面对看似惊天动地的人生危机，诸如婚姻或创业的失败，就会明白木已成舟，不会过度悔恨或纠结，因为从本质上说，情绪受身体状态左右，而不是那些外在条件。事情再不可挽回又怎样，身体总能灵活适应。换句话说，这帮助孩子避免过度沉溺于身心分离的形而上学幻象；让他们意识到，要达成内心的和谐，其实有很多现实可行的方式，而负面情绪并非难以逾越，自己也并非无能为力。

3.  Praise children in the right way.

Professor Tal Ben-Shahar from the Harvard’s happiness course advises against praising others with words such as “You are smart”, because the underlying motivation of the statement is to encourage perfectionism and focuses on results rather than process. Result-oriented people is very like to be less happy than process-oriented people. In this case, people who consider themselves smart are likely to deny their efforts when faced with results that suggest they are not as smart as they think. This gradually reduce their resilience and make them unable to withstand failure. Therefore, a more proper way to praise children could be using words such as “You are hardworking”, which implies that the effort and process are inherently valuable.

3. 用正确的方式表扬孩子。

哈佛幸福课的泰勒·本-沙哈尔教授反对用诸如“你真聪明”之类的话来表扬孩子，因为其背后隐藏的价值是鼓励完美主义，注重结果而非过程。结果导向的人很可能比过程导向的人更不快乐。在这个例子中，对那些自认为聪明的人来说，当努力的结果显示自己可能不那么聪明时，他们大概率会否定自己的努力。这逐渐让他们丧失坚韧的精神，无法承受失败。因此，夸奖孩子“你很努力”可能是一种更合适的表扬方式，这会暗示他们，努力的过程本身就有价值。

In conclusion, the ability to be happy is a crucial survival skill. Just as a wolf mother teaches her pups to hunt, it is essential to teach children to experience happiness. Nowadays, however, many people fall into the misconception of relentlessly pushing their children to become upwardly mobile, constantly compete with others, achieve excellent academic results, have stable jobs, own homes, cars, and so on, believing these factors determine life's happiness. In fact, this relinquishes control of one's emotions to uncontrollable external circumstances. Like a wolf that waits hungrily for prey without considering how to hunt, but hopes prey will come to them. Such people, whenever there is a significant environmental change, risk being eliminated through natural selection.

总的来说，快乐的能力是一项重要的生存技能。就像狼妈妈教狼宝宝捕猎一样，我们也十分有必要教孩子感受快乐。可如今，很多人们陷入误区，疯狂地想让孩子去做人上人，不断竞争攀比，逼小孩成绩优秀，工作稳定，有房有车等等，以为这些因素决定了孩子人生的幸福。这实际上是主动将快乐的主导权交给不可控的外部环境。就像一只狼，明明很饿，却不琢磨怎么捕猎，反倒希望猎物自己送上门来。这样的人，只要环境一有大的变动，就会被自然选择淘汰掉。