she

When I was young, I lived in Henan for two years because of my work relationship.

At the work level, when the leadership is not good, whether it is ability or character, he is the kind that I don't like. He has a deputy whose ability is stronger than him, but his character is half as good as his, and he doesn't look down on him, but after all, the interests are related and tied together. Working with two people like this can be painful. For a while, I almost felt like I was going to be depressed. However, it was not long after graduation, with fledgling personality and skills, and in a large state-owned enterprise, it seemed that he had an iron job, and he never thought about resigning and quitting this matter.

But at the level of life, I met some good people. Although they are now separated, they still left a deep imprint on my life.

The Wubi input method I use now was taught to me by a girl at that time. She likes me very much, but unfortunately I can't like her. When I was learning to type, she was sitting next to me, and it was probably like this, it was very hot. I remember I was sweating all the time and she wiped my sweat while correcting my mistakes. Whether it was intentional or not, when she turned sideways, her chest would always rub against my arm. I sweat more.

When she came home from the Spring Festival holiday that year, she called her home. I don't remember the details now, but I just remember that for a long time later, my sister-in-law would ask me in a meaningful way, is there any connection with that Henan girl?

Her point is very clear, that is the girl who called me and confessed to me. What she didn't know was that at that stage, the Henan girl who confessed to me was not the only one. That girl, after being rejected by me, quickly resigned. She is not my colleague, the working relationship is just like a collaborator. After she resigned, we also lost contact.

Later, there was another girl with long hair in white clothes and a very literary accent, who also expressed her goodwill to me. I don't feel like, or love, but in some ways, we can talk, and I acquiesce to that ambiguous relationship. Most of the time, she comes to me. When I was working, she sat on the floor of my office and dormitory room, with her back to the bed, and flipped through my books. She left a lot of heart-shaped bookmarks in my book, and wrote the kind of melancholy and sweet words that a girl in a crush would write.

In the last half year of Henan, I ate with her, watched movies together, and watched the moonlight on the bridge hand in hand, but it didn't stop there.

I finally got the opportunity to leave the project department and return to the company headquarters. You don't know how happy I am, the feeling of escaping, making all the farewells without the slightest sadness. It was really not like me, or not like me now.

In short, I left excitedly, and never went back.

About a few months later, she came to my city on a business trip. To be precise, I came to my company on a business trip to accompany the leaders to discuss cooperation matters. Now that I think about it, I don't know if this was an opportunity she had worked so hard to win, or if it was her job. In the evening, she lied to the leader, saying that she was looking for her classmates, but she was actually looking for me. At that time, I lived in a dormitory provided by the company and could not accommodate her, so I booked a hotel for her. It happened to be her birthday that day. I bought a cake and brought a bottle of red wine. I went to the hotel to help her celebrate her birthday. We cut the cake and talked about it probably while drinking, until later, she blushed and said she was drunk and couldn't drink any more, and went to bed.

Twenty years later, when I think of this festival, it is really for her and for myself. Fortunately, she is too reserved, not as fierce and direct as the girl before, otherwise, maybe that night will change a lot of history.

The real history of this parallel universe is that I made her quilt, said good night, and left the hotel. The next morning, she returned to Henan, and we never saw each other again.

Later, I moved to Chengdu, wanting to say goodbye to my past self, giving up my old QQ account and breaking contact with many people.

Many years later, I suddenly received a WeChat friend request, it was her. It is said that I found my brother from my QQ space and inquired about my WeChat ID from my brother. She was excited, and the excitement oozes between the lines. I looked through her circle of friends. She is a micro-business, selling some mattresses and quilts that claim to be able to heal the body to the elders in her hometown. Of course she has been married for many years, has a husband in the circle of friends, and two children. Seeing her so happy to reconnect with me, for a moment, I felt so guilty and wanted to tell her the truth.

"I'm gay, although I didn't know much about it at the time."

But it was really hard, I stopped my fingers on the keyboard for a long time and gave up.

She often sends messages that Chengdu has cooled down, so I need to keep warm. Chengdu sauna days, let me pay attention to heatstroke prevention. I thank you politely and don't return the favor. Gradually, she stopped posting.

Last year, when there was a flood in Henan and people were crying, I thought of her. I sent a message and said it was fine. I brought the child with my parents. The yard was flooded, but there was no power outage. I was afraid, but it was safe for the time being. I sent her several contact numbers for social assistance, and told her to fully charge the power bank and contact her as soon as possible. She said ok thank you bro.

That was our last contact.

Yesterday, when I saw that a depositor in Henan was beaten for defending their rights, I called Tian Yingying, and I thought of her again. But I didn't ask, I just secretly hoped that there would be no her among those people.