A very bitter article--Reading Fei Sheng in Tang Jiuqing's [Will Be Entering the Wine]

06.28.2022

At the end of the recent semester, I re-reviewed Teacher Tang Jiuqing's "Jianjiu", and was poked several times by Fei Sheng, making me want to cry in pain.

Who is Fei Sheng?

Before that, I want to intercept Chapter 228, which is about to enter the wine, which may better explain who he really is.

excerpt

Fei Sheng threw the chopsticks in his hand into the wine glass, and his unwillingness burned with anger. He raised his foot and kicked the table, turned and pointed at Huo Lingyun, and said, "Does it feel good to step on me, eh? The limelight is about to come out, the master's reward is to be robbed, and you have to take my old man's military exploits ahead of you, this is really a big heart!" He pointed at Qiao Tianya again, and said in a cold voice, "Have you settled with him? ?"

"Yeah," Qiao Tianya was turning around, "even if it's against you."

The candlelight in the hall was bright, Fei Sheng was standing inside, Huo Lingyun was standing outside in the dark, Qiao Tianya stepped on the black and white boundary, blocking both sides a little. The dark crow in the snow top of the old tree called a few times, Fei Sheng's chest heaved, and he suddenly took a few steps closer.

"I'm here to give my life to follow the master, and you're messing with me with a new son of a bitch!" Fei Sheng pointed at himself, his eyes flushed with hatred, "I opened the gate of Qidu, Dunzhou Fuxianding I guarded Fanzhou, and the old man and I defeated him! Why can't I be in this position, why do you have to be you, Qiao Tianya?! I still treat you as my own brother!"

Qiao Tianya took a step closer and said, "Take me as a real brother and say I'm plotting against you? I told you a long time ago, don't put your mind here all day long, it's yours that can't escape!"

Fei Sheng said immediately, "Shouldn't this position be mine!"

The night crow on the top of the snow suddenly flew, and the remaining lanterns swayed in the courtyard, pushing the shadows on the ground to and fro. In the tense atmosphere, Fei Sheng slammed away Qiao Tianya with force, went down the steps a few steps, ignored the shouting, and walked straight outside.

He can't last a moment!

Fei Sheng left the compound and asked no one. He ate a lot of wine, walked against the wall, slipped a few times, and knocked his forehead blue. He suddenly crouched at the base of the wall, wiping his eyes aggrievedly, not knowing who he was scolding, "Fuck..."

Fei Shengjiu woke up a little, he blew his nose, and someone in front of him was blowing his nose. Fei Sheng stood up in fright and saw a head popping out in front of him.

Yin Chang folded his sleeve, leaned forward and waited for him, smacked his lips a few times, and said, "Why are you crying?"

Fei Sheng saw the old man clearly, but did not move, just stood there and said nothing.

"Let's go," Yin Chang urged, stomping his numb feet lightly, "Look for a place to drink, it's so cold here!"

Fei Sheng refused. He had a temper when he became strong, and there was still fire in his heart.

Yin Chang rubbed his arms and said, "I just knocked a tooth, why are you still angry with others?"

Fei Sheng threw away the handkerchief, his face was cloudy and uncertain, and finally forced a smile and said, "What am I mad at them for?"

Yin Chang probed and looked at Fei Sheng's expression. The lantern in front couldn't shine here, Fei Sheng stood with his head sullen, don't let the old man see it at first.

Yin Chang was so cold that he took small steps and said, "If you give him that position, I will give it to him. I look at you and you are amazing! Gu Jin is so talented, you can compare with him in our Zhongbo, Qiao Tianya. I don't have the ability. We still have a future, so we have to fight with people here? Be careful to call the Fujun to see you and scold you for being careful."

Fei Sheng's heart jumped up.

Yin Chang ignored it, and continued: "You pressed Huo Lingyun so tightly, it's not right, can this convince the public? There is also the Dengzhou garrison in the Jinyiwei! Isn't it cold in the hearts of others? What is the commander doing? Is it? To be in charge of the army, I don't have any tools, can this position be given to you?"

Fei Sheng choked: "Just Qiao Tianya's line, Qiao Tianya's ability!"

"Ren Qiao Tianya really has this ability." Yin Chang said "Hey" and went around to the other side of Fei Sheng. The old man was short, standing in front of Fei Sheng, several heads short, and said, "Look at him, he didn't rob you in Cizhou, but his prestige is still there. Did he persuade you not to press Huo Lingyun like that? Well, Don't talk! I know, you want to say that you didn't press Huo Lingyun, but have you arranged Jin Yiwei's errand? No."

Fei Sheng said, "I'm his old mother? I'm in charge of eating, drinking, and Lazard!"

Yin Chang jumped up and beat him, saying, "You bastard, why are you not enlightened! What you did, you know best in your heart!" After that, he pushed Fei Sheng again, "Let's go!"

Fei Sheng was pushed and staggered.

Yin Chang kicked his ass and cursed, "If you were my son, I would kick you!"

Fei Sheng was pulling on his dirty robe and turned his head angrily, "I have a fucking father!"

"Show me the road! If you want this position so much, I'll go to the palace tomorrow, and I'll come back and see if you're ashamed!" Yin Chang took a few steps, and then said, "I still have more. Son!"

Fei Sheng had never heard of it, Yin Chang was in Cizhou, and he didn't mention it to anyone.

"If my son is alive, he will be the same age as you."

Fei Sheng was bored for a while, then suddenly asked, "Then why did you die?"

Yin Chang stepped on the snow and squeaked, and with the stars above his head, he was finally able to see the road clearly. He shrank his neck and said, "I starved to death."

Fei Sheng leaned against the wall, not daring to talk to the old man any more.

(slightly)

"You follow Fujun, you have a future, and you have more prospects than me." Yin Chang looked at the road under his feet, "Xiaosheng, people have to walk steadily in this life, and it is impossible to just look up. You know better than me. , the more wise the master of Shenwu is, the harder it is to serve, the lord can't fool himself, and he can't hide his thoughts. Don't the lord know about your temperament? Didn't he keep you by his side and use it? That's because of you You are talented. You stare at Qiao Tianya and Huo Lingyun, but they are all different from you. You are a smart fool, don't be angry with them for this, it will ruin your friendship with Fu Jun, and you will be delayed in the future. future.”

Hearing this, Fei Sheng felt even more aggrieved. He walked ahead and wiped his face.

Fei Sheng's father was the concubine of the Fei family. When he arrived in Fei Sheng, he couldn't even touch the side of Helianhou of the family. His father is a good bet. If he hadn't died early, he probably wouldn't have been able to keep the position of Jinyiwei. Fei Sheng had been with many people. At first, in order to have a relationship with Helian Hou, he carried a sedan chair in front of the young Hou Ye, Fei Shi, and later followed Han Cheng, and was called to and fro as a son.

He is not a gentleman, he is nothing, he just wants to get ahead.

***

As a child of the Eight Great Families, the main power of the dynasty, but because he was a shy son, he was not at the center of attention since he was a child. Later, he defected with Shen Zechuan and became a guard. Seeing that he finally had a chance to climb to the same position as Shen Zechuan's original guard, Qiao Tianya, halfway through, there was a Huo Lingyun who could score five or five points with him, and then he was suppressed by Qiao Tianya again. once.

He wants to climb up, but every time he is pushed down by fate, his strengths and weaknesses are obvious, and he has a listening ability that is difficult to surpass by others. This ability is indispensable, but it is not important enough, and it is not great enough; He wants to climb up, so flattery has learned too much, so he wants to win so much, so he is selfish, so it is difficult to become a climate.

Qiao Tianya reminded him to focus on his own strengths, and there will be no shortage of those who should be less of him, so they quarreled and achieved the most poignant paragraph in that chapter.

I seem to understand this feeling very well.

The first time I saw Jiang Jinjiu, I felt that Fei Sheng was particularly disgusting. He didn't have Qiao Tianya's chicness, he was too sophisticated and smooth, but I didn't see the luck that was needed behind the chicness, and Fei Sheng didn't have it.

Sophistication is a cocoon that has been ground out by the world.

If spring blossoms in his world, he can be the son who bends over to admire the carp in the lotus pond, rather than the Jinyi Wei Tongzhi who is good at nodding and bowing.

***

"He's not a gentleman, he's nothing, he just wants to get ahead."

This sentence is really poignant. The more I wanted to be Qiao Tianya back then, the more I feel bad for Fei Sheng now. I never thought that after a year, I would actually live like him.

I've lost the confidence I'm so proud of, I can feel like I'm festering from the inside, I can still laugh, I can still be happy...

It's just that I want to be the flower of the sun, but my heart is full of shadows under the flower.

***

I can't say I've had a bad semester this semester, but I've never been able to recognize myself, even though everyone says I'm fine.

Yesterday's interviewer said that, my friends said that, the teacher said that, but so what?

Will the interviewer admit me to the club because of this? Will the teacher give me an A+ in every subject because of this? Will that put me in an important position in the game?

Won't.

That can't change anything. In my vision, all praises are meaningless before getting real results. They are just cheap comfort. Huge, free and pretty, like candy at the door of the store.

I know these questions can chill the hearts of those who listen and encourage me, but I can't fool myself.

In terms of family background, my friend's part-time job is to consider whether to use family connections to start a new job. I only teach a small tutor; in terms of grades, I am stuck in an embarrassing position, and I can't make up stories if I can't get a GPA of 4.0. , tell my future interviewer "Look at me! I'm making progress, I'm making progress..."; As for the cultivation of interests, I have no real achievements to prove that I really like those things, I have no An essay that has won a literary award to "prove that I like writing"; in terms of ability, I can't lack in cool work, but it is not important enough, and what I do is far from good enough; in terms of looks, confidence, and communication skills , I know I'm not without, but I'm not good enough.

I'm not good, I'm not good enough at all, I get it.

Therefore, because there are too few, they will want to seize everything that can be fought for now.

I can totally understand him.

I want to climb up because I don't want to go back to that kind of life anymore, because if I don't climb, I will fall down, because I have nothing to rely on. Bend over, instead of standing in his place as leisurely as everyone else.

I want to fight, he wants to fight, we want to fight, it is a struggle for struggle, not a struggle for icing on the cake.

Just ask me back then, how many Qiao Tianya can there be in the world?