Learn to take responsibility for yourself to be your own teacher

"When you turn 21, you're no longer an orphan or you take full responsibility for your life."

"Achievements in life have nothing to do with age, and there are no quick fixes for health and career."

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• Don't rush to help your child finish it, let him do it himself

Because of the fear of trouble or the parent-child conflict that has been predicted to come

Accumulated in mistakes and failures, if there is no opportunity to practice, how can it be possible to learn well?

Let children deal with their own affairs and learn to be responsible for themselves

Letting go allows children to think comprehensively, to practice thinking more carefully, to extend the breadth of thinking to the follow-up of decisions, to take responsibility for themselves, to generate self-consciousness, and to exercise the ability to be responsible for themselves.

You are you, it is your responsibility

Compare with yourself, not for teachers, parents, or for whom

Don't shirk, don't make excuses, don't complain

• Get out of the "parents talk, children listen" framework

Viewed from the role of a helper and judged by the role of a non-supervisor, the mood and attitude will be greatly different, because parents will know that children need time, willingness, and emotional establishment

1. Don't criticize your child's behavior, but express your feelings

2. Build relationships between children and others

3. If the child still does not dare, immediately shift the focus. Don't let the focus continue on the child's behavior. Just try it later.

Get out of the "parents talk, the child listens" framework, ask more curious and objective questions, and let him try to describe the situation at the time

Because children's expressive ability will be enhanced with practice

• The most important thing in dialogue is to respect each other and let go of authority

As parents, when we are raising, we often have the blind spot of “saying this for your own good” and inadvertently ignore the feelings of our children.

(In the process of helping young people, sometimes it is said that this is for your own good, inadvertently ignoring the feelings of young people)

Therefore, in order to make the dialogue with each other continuous and good quality, I often or keep conscious, and I will take the initiative to care about the feelings of the child when I find that there may be a need for adjustment.

(Like playing tennis balls back and forth)

The heart has three layers of structure, the outermost layer is the protective layer, the middle layer is the pain layer, and the deep layer is the true self layer.

We all look forward to building loving relationships with others and experiencing what it’s like to love and be loved.

Through connection and temperature, the pain layer and the protective layer are less and less and thinner, so that children can understand their true self

His true self is seen, cared for, and the protective layer disappears, the pain will be healed, and the bond between parent and child will be closer

If there is a touch that connects to his inner needs and desires, his true self is seen and cared for, the protective layer disappears, the pain will be healed, the more stable the safety fortress between parent and child, the more chance that the protective layer will appear. Less, so his interaction with him and the outside world will be more practical and sincere.

You need to feel loved before you have the ability to love someone

• take responsibility for what you say

"I'm a person, I'm just so straight. If I say something that hurts you, please don't mind, it's not aimed at you."

In fact, this sentence is very irresponsible. Please don't mistake "straightforward" for "direct". Each of us is responsible for what we say, whether every word that comes out of our own mouth has any consideration for the feelings of others.

• Motivated when learning is for work

There are not many parents who trade gifts with their children for grades. Children are motivated because they can have what they want as long as they do their homework well. Confused about [reasons for having to work hard]. (But to know more, you will not have to rely on others in the future, you will have more choices and more freedom)

It should not only teach children who are very good at making money, but also teach children how to get happiness from it.

When will this wonderful feeling of self-confidence appear?

1. when doing what you love
2. when doing what you are good at
3. When compared to others, when performing well
4. when praised and praised

• High-quality dialogue, seize the opportunity and patiently complete the dialogue

If the usual conversations with a child are command sentences, opening sentences, then he has never been allowed to have his own ideas.

When I want to write, I will be afraid to try, and what I write is a running account or a model article

Speaking→reading→listening→writing→writing

Speak: explain clearly and in order

Writing: Literacy

Composition: Writing ability, logical fantasy

Before you write, you have to read

read various books

Abstract thinking requires a lot of text

First find interesting magazines and news, such as Korean dance groups and sports, and let your children read them.

Get children to think, respond, and think

Not just listening to adults, but having a "dialogue", talking back and forth

It's like saying, "I think after reading this book, mother...I don't like it...what do you think?"

Speaking of practice and sharing, through the previous exercises, you can speed up writing a diary or experience

Cultivate an interest in "continuous reading"

(Some things don't see hope until they persevere, but only after perseverance can see hope)

practice writing

If you say that you have to write 5,000 words of experience after watching the movie, it will kill his interest.

In the case of school activities, the teaching activities of script adaptation

If he wants to share the book, if he wants to say it, then he must be a little familiar with the content of the book.

If you finish the book or movie, it will be too purposeful to test it right away

(Just like making money immediately after graduation is too purposeful)

(summary)

For beginners or exposure to new information, it is like a child learning something for the first time. Maybe what you learned without knowing it was hard work in the beginning. You can refer to children's books and picture books designed for elementary school students, with pictures and texts, but the words are incisive

For adults, it can be read quickly, it is very helpful for self-study (you can refer to my self-study article), and it is also a good way to improve interest.

In the era of information explosion, learning ability is more important than experience