"Whale" and "Sunrise": The sunset song of a middle-aged man

( Original article published in Functional Words·Intangible )

Text | Yi Shan

When it comes to male emotions, everyone may only think of the "A Better Tomorrow" trilogy, or Du Sir's "Exiled Romance", but in reality there are so many gunmen and heroes, or every little boy has also fantasized about it. He was such a person, but in the end he grew into the useless adult he hated most at first. The butcher's knife of time is especially vicious on middle-aged men. As the hairline moves even into the M-shaped forehead and the Mediterranean Sea, and the belly bulges unsatisfactorily, the decadence of middle-aged men is caused by the butcher's knife of time. Carved out vividly.

"It's a long road, and I suddenly feel that time is fading away, and the joy is always short-lived and never returns."

Coincidentally, recently many Chinese and foreign movies seem to have become members of the "Middle-aged Men's Health Concern Group", suddenly becoming interested in middle-aged men, the most disgusting animals in the world, from "The Narrow Road" to "Youth in the Day" " seems to cover the mood of men from "junior high school" to "late middle school", while the other two sets of Western films echo and complement each other, revealing the deepest sunset songs of middle-aged men when facing their children. .

It's about "Whale" and "Sunrise". Both use the last days of getting along with their daughters to show the pain, helplessness and struggle of middle-aged men. The father in "Whale" himself has a very unusual experience. He is a typical example of "conversion halfway" among ordinary people. He once abandoned his wife and daughter and chose free and true love that is true to his nature. Unfortunately, God did not follow man's wishes, and his choice was ultimately not tolerated by the world, and it ended tragically. From then on, he gave up on himself and went wild, becoming an "invincible" that weighed several hundred pounds and could not even leave his own house. Unusual? In fact, it’s extremely common. Aren’t we often taught since childhood that we should pursue “free will” and be loyal to our true selves? But it turns out that the protagonist's pursuit of "free will" actually comes at the cost of "God's damnation." Not only is his lover ruthlessly forced to death by the church, but he also becomes an irresponsible "scumbag" in the words of his daughter.

"You are the only one who is so naive. Who is to blame for the death of the angel fish?"

It turned out that I lived sincerely for myself, gave true love to others, and thought that the world could "do whatever I want", but in the end I ended up like this. From then on, he resisted God, and even more so, the world. He completely closed himself in his own home, even in his own huge body. He no longer believed in freedom, sincerity and love, and suffered from self-blame every day. In fact, deep down he was a deeply hurt person. Until the last seven days of his life, until his daughter's visit, from the beginning of the daughter's quarrels and venomous remarks, to the middle of a mistake, the daughter actually helped a young man pretending to be a missionary to get out of trouble, and from then on , he learned again from his daughter that only by sincerely facing the world, facing himself, reconnecting and inspiring others, could he be free. From his daughter, he seemed to see the continuation of his former figure...

If you hear the Tao in the morning, you will die in the evening. All realizations are on the last day of life. All themes are related to freedom and liberation, but there seems to be a subtle connection between "divine will" and destiny, or, free will and destiny are not as opposite as we take it for granted.

In fact, this is also related to the kindness of the protagonist's nature. Although he refuses the world, he does not reject people thousands of miles away.

But even if there is companionship, it still needs to be completed by transforming one's own state of mind. This is the creation of the self.

Unlike "The Whale", although the father in "Sunrise" also experienced a failed marriage, his relationship with his daughter did not break down. In contrast to the rather stage-like script of the former, "Sunrise" uses video clips of the father and daughter's outing about thirty years ago, and lightly connects the father and daughter's last days together through daily conversations. To be honest, the audience of this film needs a certain degree of patience, because more than 80% of the entire film is a record of casual and even seemingly trivial and boring conversations between father and daughter. However, if you pay careful attention and re-examine, some details can be connected. Connected with his father's personality traits and even his mental state at that time. For example, the father has always seemed to be addicted to the spiritual world of Eastern Tai Chi and meditation, but the camera has captured people paragliding in the sky more than once. Or the father only dared to smoke and dance alone on the terrace after his daughter fell asleep, and even later He also dared not admit that he had a smoking habit in front of his daughter, and would never show his singing voice in front of others... Unlike "Whale", the father once bravely pursued his true self, but this father has always been in himself. In restrained depression.

Therefore, my daughter fell into a deeper depression. After becoming an adult, the daughter finally understands her father's feelings. After all, every problem of the previous generation stems from the problems of the previous generation, passed down from generation to generation... The father's problems obviously come from an environment where he was not noticed. An important reminder is that my father confessed that his grandparents never paid attention to his birthday, that is, they never paid attention to his feelings. He's also clearly a deeply traumatized man. That's why my father seemed so gentle, yet sensitive and fragile.

The only time my father opened his heart seemed to be during a boating trip on the lake. That time he told her: You can tell me anything from now on, whether it’s the first time you have a boyfriend, the first time you take drugs, you can tell me everything honestly...

The daughter also confessed about her first kiss with the boy.

My daughter will always remember this most sincere moment.

It's a pity that it has become an eternal farewell.

In fact, the most candid moment between the author and my father also came from a conversation in the study room in the United States. At that time, my father said bluntly: Ah Zai, in fact, if the female family doesn't make trouble, it will naturally come to your door!

Although it was "unconstructive," it was also the only conversation I had with a Chinese father that I felt was the most flesh-and-blood conversation.

That is my most unforgettable memory of my father.

Therefore, even if a daughter had her first kiss with a man during adolescence, and witnessed same-sex intimacy, and even if she later becomes a lesbian, she still has to adopt a baby, not to "make up for the lack of a complete family," but to make up for the lack of a complete family. Complete the regret that his father "could not give the next generation a complete life education" before committing suicide.

Even if there is no blood relationship.

It is also a continuation of life.

The daughter could not find her father on the dance floor until the last night of the holiday, when she finally saw her father dancing on the dance floor and could finally hug him.

The future is a mystery

There is no need to force the oath of alliance

It’s hard to predict which night we’ll be together again

Let me touch you one more night

The future will be like a mystery

I only know that I love you (love you) love is hard to die

whether there is a future or not

Let me hold you one more night……

易山首先係一個人。一個香港人，七十後中佬，去過下美國，讀過下政治，睇過下戲，上過下街，入過下政黨，做過下電視台，寫過下talk show，做過下NOL (non-opinion leader)，而家全職係研究防止自己變成一個討厭廢老。

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