Straight Girl Kiss – Flexible Heterosexuality at a College Party

Some people believe that this is just an example of "Girls Gone Wild", and its purpose is to attract boys to stop and watch. Other views, such as that of psychologist Lisa Diamond, believe that this is related to women's "sexual fluidity" (Sexual Fluidity), which proposes that this may be the behavior of women shaping their own sexuality, or even using heterosexual social scenes as a transition One way to bisexuality or homosexuality.

These ideas relate to the sociology of gender. The new sexual behaviors young women are engaging in on college campuses make us think about the social construction of sexuality—the objects of our desires, the sexual behaviors we engage in, and our sexual identities are all deeply shaped by the society in which we live. In addition, the scene of boys enjoying watching girls making out is also reminiscent of the "male gaze" in feminism. The power relationship between male viewers and the women being watched is thought-provoking. The fluidity of sexual orientation contained in women's intimate behaviors in public reminds us that sexual orientation is divided into genders, and sexual desires, behaviors, and sexual identity do not always match. At least in the context of American culture, this means that men do not experience the same sexual fluidity as women. While they may have sex with other men while identifying as heterosexual, they certainly wouldn't make out with someone of the same sex at a party just to please a woman.

As described in another article in this issue, [3] hookup culture on college campuses fosters casual sex among students at parties and bars (including behaviors ranging from kissing and making out to oral sex and intercourse). All). Our school is no different. UC Santa Barbara has long had a reputation for partying (a reputation that, to the delight of the school’s administration, is fading.) More than half of its roughly 20,000 students are women. , just under half of the students are students of color, primarily Chicano/Latinx and Asian American. About one-third of students are first-generation college students in their families. Sociologist Paula England's "College and Social Life Survey" surveyed more than 2,000 female students at the University of California, Santa Barbara online about their views on campus sex. Among the students surveyed, less than 1% considered themselves gay, 3% considered themselves bisexual, and nearly 2% considered their gender "uncertain".

Nationwide data show that the number of people who identify as gay is far smaller than the number of people who are attracted to or engage in same-sex sexual behavior. Sociologist Edward Laumann and his colleagues found in the National Health and Social Life Survey that less than 2% of women identify as homosexual or bisexual, but more than 8% of women have had same-sex sexual desires or have engaged in sexual intercourse. Lesbian sex. The same goes for the men in the survey, who were more likely to have had sex with men than find them attractive. [4] Across time and culture (as sociologist Jane Ward points out, even among straight white men today), men can have sex with other men as long as they act as the penetrant during sex. Reinforce his heterosexual attributes. But does this mechanism also apply to women?

The dominant assumption about straight women kissing is that they do it to gain male attention. But the mismatch between the concept of sexual fluidity and sexual desire, sexuality, and sexual identity suggests that the reasons behind it may be more complex than simply a desire to access the male gaze. As part of their coursework, our undergraduate students conduct a series of formal and informal interviews with a diverse group of female classmates at our university to promote scholarly research on the complexities of female sexuality.

college party scene

The most unique aspect of UC Santa Barbara is its neighboring community of Isla Vista. It is a densely populated area whose population is made up of two-thirds students and one-third Mexican-American families, who tend to be working class and lower income. House parties, fraternity and sorority gatherings, dances (which often have "some kind of a debauched theme," according to one female student), and random parties open to anyone, all pop up on the weekends. Female students described Isla Vista as: "It's like it's not of this world...a little crazy," "a little wild," "very promiscuous, lots of new things and crazy," and "like a sovereign nation." ...A space where people feel very comfortable, where they can let down their guard and let loose.” Alcohol is drunk freely, drugs are everywhere, girls wear extremely short clothes, and there is a lot of sex among students. According to one sorority member, these parties were characterized by "a lot of, you know, sexy dancing. Some people were, you know, like having sex on the dance floor, even though they weren't really doing it, but I felt What they do is next level than having sex.” Another student opined that “women have more freedom here.” In short, although life in Isla Vista seems a bit unreal, life here is different from other Life on a large campus is no different.

Passionate kisses and make-out sessions between straight girls and other girls at parties in Isla Vista are popular. “For many people, being affectionate between friends is normal.” The author of the sex column in the student newspaper began his October 2008 column: “I kissed a girl and liked it. [5]", in the article she suggested: "If you are a girl who is not ready to experiment and explore with your kind, then I suggest you find a girl and start right away" She wrote: "Every person watching There is one burning question in the minds of boys [girls kissing]...is this real or are they just putting on a show?" Students gave three different explanations for the behavior: attracting attention from the opposite sex, exploring same-sex sexual behavior and gratification Same-sex sexual desires.

Attract the attention of the opposite sex

In our culture, kissing between girls arouses male desire, and the kissing girls know this. One student told us: "Usually it's to show the boys who are hanging around them and they like to heckle them. It seems to be done for... the boys, not for their own pleasure or gratification, but for their own pleasure or gratification. To... I don't know... to entertain them." Alcohol is often involved. "It tends to be caused by... I guess... alcohol, people heckling or something like that. It's usually to get guys excited or to seek guys out. "I definitely think it's mostly to get attention. Usually it's some drunk guy." Drunk girls trying to get guys' attention, or just really having fun, like me and my roommate did at our date party. … It's the alcohol that causes it , and they just wanted to show it to others, not to explore their sexual orientation at all.” Another student who was asked to kiss by her friend insisted: “They did that just to attract attention... and make people around them form a circle. … Encourage them to take pictures or do other stupid things.” One girl admitted that she pouts at parties to attract attention, but when asked whether the behavior was related to exploring sexual orientation, she added: “Maybe for some people It does matter, I guess it does matter to me, eh."

Sexuality exploration

It was also part of the reason other girls agreed to explore their sexuality. “I’ve kissed girls many times,” said a self-identified heterosexual student. One night, she and a friend “were very drunk and walking down the street, and things got too friendly between us, and then we Just started making out and taking pictures." The photos were later posted on Facebook. "Then the last time, which was a bit personal, was when I was in a threesome. It was at a party, but it obviously didn't happen during the party." In addition to attracting the attention of the opposite sex, she also used the phrase "bisexual" "I would definitely call it an exploration." Another student, who described herself as straight but a bit of a "curious bisexual," said girls did it for no other reason than to In addition to getting attention, "it's also a good time for them, otherwise, if a person is in the room and doesn't go out, they may not have the courage to express themselves. And because other people can also get pleasure from them, This format makes it easier for them to accept." She told us that she got drunk at a theme party (Alice in Dirty Land [6]): "'Maria' and I started doing it in the kitchen. And then the guy , said in my ear, 'Everyone is watching, everyone has seen it.' But 'Maria' and I continued to kiss and didn't care at all. I really didn't think it was a spectacle, and we weren't trying to be flirty. Others, we just want to make out. So we probably don't apply that rule," she chuckled. In another interview, one student described her friend's "love of boys and girls when she was drunk... but when she sobered up she started to like girls." Another said she was "theoretically" bisexual student explained that she hated the word “bisexual” because in Isla Vista “it basically meant you would make out with girls at parties.” Before her first relationship with a woman, she Never thought about bisexuality. “The closest thing I have to bisexuality is, Hey, if I drink, I might make out with a girl.” The stories above illustrate the opportunities that hookup culture and college parties provide for some women in a heterosexual context. A safe space to explore non-heterosexual possibilities.

same-sex desire

Some girls not only admit that they enjoy intimacy but also admit that same-sex sexual desire is their motivation. One student defined her sexual orientation as preferring to have sex with men, but was more attracted to women than men. She summed up her coming out journey as realizing that "I really like girls and I really like kissing girls." Another student said: "I always thought I was straight. But since I've been living here, I I've had sex with women several times. So now I think I'm bisexual." She initially thought she was just "one of those girls" she made out with at parties, but later admitted she had sex with women in private. With this in mind, she changed her sexual identity to bisexual: “I may have fallen into the trap of kissing girls to impress guys, but I don’t feel like I did it for that purpose, it was more of a I want to be with girls, and I want to try what it feels like to be with girls." Another student, who is bisexual and occasionally makes out with friends in public, believes that women "only do that in public. It's because, they're afraid of that part of their sexuality, you know, because they're taught to be straight... so if they're intimate, people think it's just for attention, and even though they might like to do it, they can't admit."

Being able to kiss and make out with other girls in public without having to identify as gay or bisexual has made women with same-sex desires a part of the college party scene. However, intimacy in public may develop into more extensive sexual behavior in private. Another student described falling in love with her best friend in middle school but being “too scared to make the first move” because “I didn’t know if they were queer.” She first met a friend A bisexual woman is having sex with her boyfriend. In this way, some women have their first same-sex sexual intercourse through a threesome with a man, which is an extension of the safe space for women to explore same-sex desires in a heterosexual context.

Heteroflexibility

Apparently, at least in some cases, making out between drunken women isn't just about pleasing men. And this has to do with sexual fluidity. In Lisa Diamond's decade-long research, she found that young women who originally identified as gay or bisexual experienced dramatic changes in their sexual desires, intimate relationships, and sexual identities. This change has no specific direction. It can range from homosexuality to bisexuality and heterosexuality, from bisexuality to homosexuality or heterosexuality. It is worth noting that there are also cases of changing from a specific identity to "no identity" . From a psychological perspective, Diamond believes that both biological and cultural factors play an important role in shaping women's sexual fluidity, making women more likely than men to be attracted to both female and male partners. Apparently, women who identify as heterosexual and enjoy kissing people of the same sex are consistent with the idea of ​​sexual fluidity. As a student who identifies as heterosexual said: “They’re no different than anyone else, they’re just making out.”

For the most part, though, students didn't feel that being intimate had any impact on one's heterosexual identity: "Yeah, I think a lot of the girls we know just casually make out with their girlfriends and they're still I think they're straight. I think I'm straight." Another said, "I'd still think they're straight. Unless I see them get to the point where they have feelings for each other or are attracted to each other." However, one A bisexual student said: "They are at least bi-curious... I think if a woman enjoys it and realizes that she likes it and wants to do it again, then I think she Preferring to be bisexual."

everyone except lesbians

So, girls who kiss girls are "no different than anyone else," but if they develop feelings for it or really enjoy doing it or want to do it again, then they are clearly beyond heterosexuality. Diamond found in her study that lesbians who were attracted to and had relationships only with women were the only group of subjects who did not experience any change in sexual orientation. In her research on lesbian feminist communities in the 1980s, sociologist Arlene Stein described a struggle over the boundaries of "lesbian" identity. People who are in relationships with men but still identify as lesbians are called "ex-lesbians" or even "fakers" by those who call themselves "real lesbians." While today's heterosexual college students can be intimate with other women and call themselves "bi-curious" without threatening their heterosexual identity, this flexibility does not extend to lesbians. One straight curious bisexual girl explained that she didn’t think “the lesbian community would accept me because I like boys so much.” She believed she “didn’t have enough sexual experience with women to be called Bisexual." Another student described herself as a "free-flowing soul" who had had multiple relationships with straight girls, but she refused to accept the label "lesbian" because although "I like girls" I'm still totally attracted to guys." She claimed, "Being a lesbian means... you have to be fully committed to it. Both sexually and emotionally. I feel like if you're a lesbian, guys aren't that attracted to you. is you."

Even if they don't say it outright, students define lesbian identity more strictly than "flexible heterosexual," a term often used by young girls. “Because we were friends and we were both drunk, it didn’t matter. We were not gay in any sense. …” A girl who kissed her roommate was convinced she could tell the difference between straight and lesbian: “I’ve never been like Real lesbians enjoy doing it." Another chimed in: "I mean, it's one thing for you to identify as gay and another thing for you to act like it." A bisexual girl said Not sure whether straight women can be distinguished from curvy women, she initially believed that 80% of making out at parties was for the pleasure of boys, but then hesitated because “this completely excludes the queer community, including people like The perspective of a woman like me who absolutely likes girls. We also make out publicly, so I think there may be two different situations." Based on the above considerations, she changed the ratio to 50%: "Because I want to It's impossible for me to know if a woman really likes women or if she's just playing social games." A bisexual girl described kissing her girlfriend at a party. "Then a guy came over and poured the beer. He fell on top of us and said things like, 'Stop kissing her, you bitch.'" This shows that kissing between women for their own pleasure is not allowed. She added: "When we kiss or whatever, there's always a lot of guys looking at us and they think we're doing it for them or we want them to get involved or whatever. Then it gets boring. .”

So same-sex sexual behavior between straight women is open to many interpretations. But this is different from straight men who engage in same-sex behavior in private, away from the female gaze. Heterosexual women can express their identity as "Barsexual," "Bi-curious," or "Mostly Straight," but too much physical attraction or affection Investment will jump out of the category of heterosexuality. This suggests that heterosexual women are increasingly choosing to engage in physically intimate behaviors that have little impact on identity, partner choice, or political affiliation. But the boundaries between lesbians and non-lesbians, whether bisexual or heterosexual, remain clear.

References

l Lisa M. Diamond. Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire. (Harvard University Press, 2009). A longitudinal study of women's shifting sexual behaviors and identities in the contemporary United States.

l Laura Hamilton. "Trading on Heterosexuality: College Women's Gender Strategies and Homophobia." Gender & Society (2007), 21:145-72. Looks at the sexual constructions adopted by college-aged women.

l Arlene Stein. Sex and Sensibility: Stories of a Lesbian Generation. (University of California Press, 1 997). A sociological study of American lesbian feminist communities in the 1980s.

l Elisabeth Morgan Thompson and Elizabeth M. Morgan. "'Mostly Straight' Young Women: Variations in Sexual Behavior and Identity Development." Developmental Psychology (2008), 44/1: 1 5-2 1. A psychological study of US college students ' shifting sexual behaviors and identities.

l Jane Ward. "Dude-Sex: White Masculinities and 'Authentic' Heterosexuality Among Dudes Who Have Sex With Dudes." Sexualities (2008), 1 1 :41 4-434. A sociological study that complicates the concept of "men who have sex with men.”

Leila J. Rupp is Professor of Feminist Studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara; Verta Taylor is Professor of Sociology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Rupp is the author of "Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women"; Taylor and Rupp are co-authors of "Drag Queens at the 801 Cabaret."

[1] Source of this article: Contexts, SUMMER 2010, Vol. 9, No. 3, thrill ride! sex over the life course (SUMMER 2010), pp. 28-32

[2] Translator's Note: This subtitle is taken from an article on the same topic published by the same author in the book "Routledge International Handbook of Heterosexualities Studies" published in 2021. It is a more in-depth argument than this article, but the two articles' views Consistently, the original article in Contexts magazine has no subtitle.

[3] Translator's note: The original author did not mark the specific article. The translator guessed that it was an article titled "Is hooking up bad for young women?" in a magazine from the same period.

[4] Translator’s Note: Edward O. Laumann, John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, and Stuart Michaels. The Social organization of sexuality in the United States. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994. Laumann et al. found that 8.6% of women and 10.1% of men reported any adult same-gender sexuality. Of the women reporting some same-gender sexuality, 88% reported same-gender sexual desire, 41% reported some same-gender sexual behavior, and 16% reported a lesbian or gay identity. Of the men, reporting some same-gender sexuality, 75% reported same-gender sexual desire, 52% reported some same-gender sexual behavior, and 27% reported a gay identity. Data source: http: //www.lgbtdata.com/national-health-and-social-life-survey-nhsls.html

[5] Translator's Note: Quoted from Katy Perry's hit single "I Kissed a Girl", the original lyrics are "I Kissed a Girl and liked it."

[6] Translator’s Note: Hahaha, sorry, the original text is Alice in Fuckland

[7] Translator’s note: Girls kiss indirectly to gain male attention.

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