【Essay】Sometimes restlessness can only exist in oneself

Jul 8, 2022

I began to dissect, and separated the bones of the fish like a fishmonger.

Blood splashed on the ground, perhaps from the moment it was salvaged, its life was destined to be cooked whole like a fish.

The market is noisy, full of hawking, oil pollution and crowds. The wet and sticky touch of the shuttle, the skin rubs against each other, the sweat drops along the cheeks and slides over the eyes, like bangs covering the eyebrows, to keep blinking. Occasionally, the eyelid flashes for a moment, and it is only by playback that the general outline can be confirmed.

I'm not sure what the body supports, like a deal, but not even the bargaining chips. The whole person was wet, and there was still moisture on the dried back. We talk, but more often it's like murmuring. It's one thing to alienate people, it's another thing to alienate yourself, I don't understand. There are tiny molds in the corners of the rented house. When I pulled the bed cabinet apart, I found that it was a piece of mold. At the angle between the sides, they were parasitic on the dust on the walls, and I inhaled it every night. . I re-washed the walls, kept blowing with alcohol and a fan, licking my lips and tongue, tsk tsk should be okay, but I still didn't sleep well that night.

I hold my breath when I stare, I look at it, listen to it talk, and it gets too loud accidentally. I grabbed the air with my hands, it was salty and wet, and then I pinched my arm, ah! still alive. She said if there was no way to see it here, I nodded and smiled, then squinted and picked the corner of my clothes, you wouldn't want to see it, I didn't say. Sometimes restlessness can only exist in oneself. Every confrontation is like a battle, but it is transparent. When you look up at the sky and take a deep breath, you can understand this rebirth and wish that it is the only one. He smiled, trembled slightly, and then pretended to scratch his nose and rubbed his nose. Those disguise peeled off one by one, like a mass of stains, fainted in the normal body, and shattered on the ground.

This is your consideration! She made a note.

Further reading:

[Rensen Mantoubao Series] I'm sorry, I couldn't save you at that time