Comment on Chizuru Ueno's dialogue: If the answer to women's rights is "whether married or not", then what nonsense are we talking about?

This article was first published on Wainao: https://www.wainao.me/wainao-reads/Ueno-Chizuko-women-feminism-marriage-02242023

Recently, three women who graduated from Peking University interviewed Chizuko Ueno, a well-known Japanese professor of women’s studies. Their B-station video “Chat in Peking University Dormitory x Chizuko Ueno | As long as you live freely, you can do anything” detonated the feminist society Group, the Internet quickly scolded.

Looking at the negative comments, everyone’s dissatisfaction mainly lies in the fact that in the face of a scholar with considerable achievements and reputation in the direction of feminism, the questions raised by the three “highly educated” women are so superficial, as if they have not done their homework, such as asking Ueno The question of "is it because you have been hurt by a man" for not getting married is even more offensive. As married women, they also limit the discussion of feminism to personal marriage and love throughout the whole process, rather than some more public and critical topics, which seems to be a waste of experts like Ueno. Among them, as the main interviewer, the UP master "Quan Hee Hee" said that when he was talking about marriage and childbearing, he encountered a "feminist contempt chain" and claimed to be a "flawed feminist" Ueno's gesture of seeking approval attracted the most firepower from feminist bloggers.

In a message on Weibo , a commenter named "Wanyan Zhuyao" believes that it is of course their freedom to enter marriage with a utilitarian mentality, but what makes people uncomfortable is that "they must use 'feminist ' to make footnotes and definitions for the life of one's own choice."

"Several women represented by Cai Quanxie showed a suspicious greed in this dialogue. The greed is so urgent that the most civilized cultural level also agrees that their lives are 'correct' and 'noble'. Greedy enough to have to package their 'marriage strategy' as a 'progress'."

Utilitarianism of Elites: Using "Marketing" and "Planning" to Disclaim Responsibility and Cover Up Women's Real Dilemma

If you are familiar with the "anti-marriage and anti-childbirth" culture of online feminism and the context behind it, you should be able to understand why this video deeply offended many feminists. Afterwards, Quan Xixi was picked up by netizens to uncover more "black history", including that her online name was named "husband's surname", called "Cai Quanxixi"; her previous video mentioned that her husband had sexual intercourse after marriage. The life frequency needs are inconsistent with her, so she wants to "purchase sexual services" (this statement has been criticized as "beautifying whoring"), and she reflects on herself because of this; she also talked about her husband agreeing to DINK but backtracking, and she was worried that her husband would cheat, so she gave birth to a child and bound her husband Wait, it triggered a continuous "group ridicule". Quan Hee Hee also had to post a disguised apology on Weibo, admitting that he was "backward", "ignorant" and "stupid".

However, the creation of these "thunder spots" is more or less suspected of imposing crimes, and it will only happen overnight, so it is really not worth following the trend.

The content of Quan Xixi's previous video programs mostly revolved around topics of private life, which is consistent with her interview style this time, which can be said to be vulgar and boring-the so-called "mainstream" is actually not worth digging. But in one of the programs talking about "gender dilemma", Quan Xixi's thinking about women's rights and some gender issues did not seem to be so bad, and he talked about reflecting on privilege and empathizing with the weak.

Therefore, Lu Pin called them "stupid", which I think is just right. They are like girls with good grades in class, good personality, and good popularity when they were young. Their journey was smooth but well-regulated. Became a vice president and director in my early thirties—but the mental depth between conversations was only equivalent to that of me in my early twenties. Their life is coming down the assembly line, so they will naturally use the thinking of the assembly line to understand women's rights. It seems that feminism is a new archway given to modern women, and it can be won back to decorate the lintel.

A group friend in the feminist group mentioned that she felt that these three people had some "top students' dilemma": "Because I got used to the path of gaining value by answering test scores for a long time, now I feel that I have to give full marks in marriage and feminism. .”

I feel the same way, thinking that this is still caused by an elite consciousness—“I not only want a career, a family, and self-realization, but I also want a sense of progress, social influence, and a recognized feminist myself.” This kind of mentality of "I want everything" and "I can't afford to lose" is not only arrogance and ignorance, but a kind of It highlights the banal evil of moral incompetence.

However, the choice of them by station B shows a lot of problems. Some bloggers broke the "insider" saying that the video was actually a dialogue event jointly planned by Station B and a publishing house to promote Ueno's new book. In the early stage of the event, the editor of the publishing house once solicited questions from Ueno for this plan in a female community, emphasizing the hope to "break the circle", and invited other bloggers to promote after the video went online. The marketing tags focused on "love brain" ", "marriage", "women's growth", "family of origin", "emotion" and other hot words, but there is no "feminism" or "feminism". Station B knows that feminism is a traffic code, but is unwilling to rectify the name of feminism; in order to consume a "positive energy" feminism more smoothly, it needs to "sterilize" all "reactionary" risk factors about it, so It is not surprising that I chose three mainstream married women who always revolve around their private lives, and designed a set of questions that stop at self-consistency, self-acknowledgment, and self-reconciliation, but are actually extremely narcissistic.

Based on this , some people questioned that Quan Xixi’s dullness in interviewing Ueno was carefully designed to detonate traffic, and her identity as "Vice President of Xinshixiang" was brought out to prove that she was a marketing person. Veteran; in fact, this "student bully" who once wrote a lot of "social issues", "rebellious consciousness" and "independent thinking ability" articles in college cannot really be a weak "beautiful wife" .

Speculation about Quan Hee Hee’s motives cannot be proven, but it subtly reveals the anxiety of the online feminist community when criticizing such a woman—first of all, the anxiety is of course “women make things difficult for women”, and secondly, such an excellent Why are women still stuck in marriage? She must have been acting. She's cunning, she's powerful, she's even nasty, she plays us all, she makes a lot of money, she "wins", but she's never going to dwell on the real troubles of marriage .

However, how is it impossible? Doesn't this just mean that even women in the upper class are still struggling in the marriage system, making a fuss? The public opinion from "feminists" is actually covering up feminist issues in a disguised form, and by exaggerating Quan Hee Hee's initiative, it adds to Mu Qiang's mentality. They seem to be on the opposite side of Quan Xihe, but in fact they have exactly the same "fear of weakness" anxiety as hers.

Afterwards, Bilibili launched the second video of the conversation between the male UP master and Ueno. When it was discovered that this man actually asked more advanced questions than the three Peking University women, some feminists accused the platform of being malicious in planning. , to "step on women and praise men" if they want to be promoted first.

By reorienting the issue to their most familiar gendered narratives, feminists also further ease the anxiety that comes with criticizing Quan Hee Hee — after all, she is the victim of a platform “conspiracy” that “no matter what women do, they will be judged.” Stigmatized, made second-rate, turned a blind eye, beaten back to square one.” This quote from Ueno was used to add to the imagery that “women are the perfect victims.” But this also exempts the whole hee hee from the responsibility of "collaborating with others", making the feminist community's criticism of refined egoism out of focus.

This is the embodiment of the ultimate utilitarianism of some Internet feminists when they stick to the "female standard": women have absolute subject initiative, but at the same time they are perfect victims, and they can "switch on demand", so she can do whatever she wants, but at the same time Total immunity from responsibility for one's own actions - this is not real women, nor feminism, but the tyranny of an elite masquerading as feminism, the specter of violence that haunts us, the desires of the powerful projection.

Feminist issues always come from observing the interaction between women with a certain degree of agency and the patriarchal system. Therefore, their encounters can guide us to expose and intervene in structural injustice.

The wisdom of feminists lies in how to balance the relationship between the "subject" of female individuals and the "structure" of society, and how to identify the power dynamics in it. When talking about this topic in the new book "Starting from the Limit" in which Ueno and Suzuki Yoshimi talked about this topic, Ueno wrote: "The subject may be able to temporarily transcend the structure, but it is undeniable that the pressure of the structure has an overwhelming advantage over the subject. …we try to take an approach that doesn’t negate subject agency and diversity, and doesn’t justify structural oppression.”

"The more the subject as an individual insists on 'self-determination', the more the structure can be exonerated. It is indeed possible that people who are structurally disadvantaged can turn around and use their disadvantage to profit from the structure in the short run, but in the long run this will lead to the reproduction of the structure."

So, only when a woman's experience is reduced, as close as possible to reality—that she is neither a self-inflicted perpetrator nor a perfect victim—the way the system works on a person becomes unrevealed.

This means that the elite consciousness will completely ignore the issue of feminism and blind our understanding of feminism. If a feminist does not reflect on and transcend elite consciousness, he will not be able to meet real women, let alone touch on public feminist issues; the only thing he is doing is to project his secret desire for privilege unrestrainedly. , inflates itself.

Equality when you want to be equal: "Feminism" becomes a bargaining tool for profiteers in the system

In my opinion, if Quan Xixi was really a young man full of critical spirit on social issues, then what is more worthy of accountability is how the Chinese society, market and platforms like Bilibili passed the censorship, elimination, Discipline and publicity, to select and shape batches of traffic producers and payers who are more in line with mainstream values and more suitable for consumption.

In the "Speech Dedicated to the New Generation" at station B in 2020 "The Back Wave" , the veteran He Bing gave impassioned words to the young people, and the screen was full of overseas travel, racing skydiving, rafting diving, Hanfu figures... ...a breeding ground for captive narcissism, where young people's desires are beautifully packaged, but their dangerous, subversive "reverse scales" are clipped and buried.

He Bing looked directly at the camera and said without hesitation: "You have the right we dream of, the right to choose." Three years later, when three Peking University women sought Ueno's approval in the video for their freedom to choose marriage, the audience could say that they had a sense of déjà vu. full.

Such a lackluster content has aroused great enthusiasm, of course it depends on the scale and energy of the feminist community today; but it is unworthy to be placed in the center of our attention because of more important and serious issues in reality. Feminist issues cannot be seen, communicated and discussed.

A Weibo commented: "...Today, "feminism" can only be popular in this form. It is sad to think about it. There is no shortage of feminism in China who are capable of high-quality and in-depth exchanges with Ueno. However, they can’t even keep their online accounts, and they even drift overseas and cannot return to China.” For a long time, the feminist community can’t expect to output commensurate wisdom on a “more valuable” subject, let alone promote socialism through public opinion. change. When the whole hee hee rejoiced that "as long as you live freely, you can do anything", the feminists who participated in the white paper movement were imprisoned, and they were not even known to the public. Under the pressure of totalitarianism, the feminist movement in reality has almost no way out, and all channels seem to have been closed. And this time, what won the "national attention" is just another vain and exhausting scolding war?

The problems faced by women in love, marriage and childbirth are of course important feminist issues, so it is very regrettable if outsiders interpret the criticism issued by feminists this time as an attack on married and childbearing women. Outside the "radical women" community, many feminists do not hold a strong anti-marriage and anti-childbirth stance, and have always held a tolerant and united attitude towards married and childbearing women. In fact, it is also a common practice in the community to use feminism as a guiding standard to examine men and intimate relationships in order to obtain better marriage, love and sexual experiences. It's just that everyone still has the heart of introspection to some extent, and has neither the intention nor the opportunity to expose their thoughts to the public so carelessly.

The anxiety of feminists who have entered into marriage and childbirth is also very common. Earlier, someone wrote "What's the use of being a feminist?" " , "I have a child, am I still worthy of being a feminist? " and other articles, discussing my game, compromise and struggle as a feminist in my marriage and childbearing life.

As for the consumption and hijacking of feminism by elite women, feminist activist Lu Pin has long been alerted. She once wrote on social media:

“The source of the endless annoyance and entanglement of (middle-class) heterosexual women is that they do not want to leave the heterosexual system or give up the dividends, but only want to maximize their self-interest in it. Feminism is thus selectively used as a bargaining As Bell Hooks said: Equality when you want to be equal; or be used as a legalized carrier and emotional trash can for your desire narrative.”

"'Wanting to have it all' is a privileged ideology, although it is sometimes packaged as feminism. After all, the focus of commercial feminism is to advocate the 'self-actualization' of women above the middle class. But wanting to have everything in this system is itself Unjustified, and necessarily based on exploitation, in men and women alike."

In this regard, Lu Pin bluntly said: "Feminism is a philosophy that guides women's struggle and liberation, not a provider of women's happiness solutions. The concept of 'happiness' is institutionalized and is criticized by feminism." "Feminism is not both There is a resource body, and there is no giving and commitment to individuals.”

For me, feminism certainly cannot answer all the questions in my life. I do not expect or assume that feminism has this right and obligation. After all, feminism cannot provide women with a system other than patriarchy. and infrastructure. I often do "unfeminist" things in my life-some feel forced, but some slip into the comfort zone with the trend and grab the dividends with a fluke mentality. But what I am grateful for is that feminism has always provided me with a mirror, some perspectives of awareness and critical language, so that when I am involved in this system, I can keep awake, keep my eyes open, constantly reflect, and make these reflections Contribute to promote the exploration of feminist issues.

To borrow Lu Pin's words: "Feminists' self-insight is not to portray themselves as '100% feminists', on the contrary, it is to mark all the places where they are not feminist. This is actually the most critical step in personal politics, that is, to use one's own imperfect reflections to refer to the feminism that is always accumulating and cannot be expressed by anyone. "

And Ueno, who is admired by Quanhee, is in the new book "Starting from the Limit" they talked about, by piercing Suzuki's "fear of the weak" anxiety of not wanting to admit that he was victimized in the sex industry, clearly pointing out that elite consciousness makes Women stay away from feminism:

"Nothing satisfies the intense egos of elite women like 'self-determination', and nothing drives women away from feminism like those four words."

"Look at your own pain. When you hurt, cry out. Human dignity begins here. Be honest with yourself and don't deceive yourself. If a person cannot trust and respect his own experience and feelings, how can he believe and respect What about other people’s experiences and feelings? … Calling yourself a victim is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.”

Ueno in the video is a very gentle person. She sensed the scheming of young people to "get cheap and act good", but she still chose to be tolerant, maybe because for her generation, the new generation of women who can live freely is too rare. .

The evaluation of "Wanyan Pig Demon" is not so merciless : "But all self-deceptions of human beings contain elements of sobriety and self-knowledge, which is why Cai Quanxie and the others are trying their best to Ueno, the 'head of East Asian feminism' When a person asks for evidence, she will avoid talking about the key deeds such as increasing the frequency of her sex life to prevent her husband from cheating and having a child bound to her husband. She cannot calmly submit this information to Ueno to make a judgment. In that way, her own feminism The license is bound to be in jeopardy. Perhaps it is that kind of inferiority complex that makes them feel so excited and even cry after they feel the affirmation of the 'head'."

The need for recognition that this "self-deception" fosters seems to me pathetic and comical. After all, what does it matter? Who cares? Leaving aside the "feminist demands", they all seem to be caught in the predicament of some contemporary elites - they believe that "success" means everything, and all actions and costs of "successful people" can be justified . This makes them deeply trapped in the system of patriarchy, authoritarianism and capitalist collusion. When the unbearable encounters are difficult to resolve, they have to consume various "isms" to give themselves spiritual massage and mental anesthesia, just like many people Passionate meditation is the same as body, mind and soul practice. The so-called healing and empowerment are all for the purpose of going back and sustainably dancing with the system; and feeding this system for generations to come. Have they ever thought that the way out of "liberation" is just the opposite of what they thought? For example, instead of striving to become a "happy strong man", it is to face one's own vulnerability honestly first.

After all the movements recede, the grassroots of the "anti-marriage and anti-childbirth" have drawn their salaries from the bottom

The heavy pressure of totalitarianism in recent years has significantly changed the picture of the feminist movement in China. When the social environment was still friendly, the feminist movement was mainly promoted by activists, and the idea of "anti-marriage and anti-childbirth" has always been marginalized, not only because it easily leads to discrimination against married women, but also because "anti-marriage and anti-childbirth" "It is a kind of passive resistance, which requires women to perform "non-violent non-cooperation", but basically does not seek the improvement of men and society, and has no direct accountability to the system. Therefore, when activist feminists are severely suppressed, pan-feminist groups such as "radical feminists", "elite feminists" and "pink feminists" still have considerable room for activity on social media.

Today, when the constructive civil rights and feminist movements are ebbing, and people generally lose the initiative to resist, it is the army of "anti-marriage and anti-childbirth" that is pulling the bottom of the totalitarian system, which makes us face up to the influence of the grassroots feminist community force. Lu Pin praised the women's collective decision not to marry or have children: "They have indeed created the most important crisis in this country. Can a country with negative population growth still have a great power?" At the same time, she believes that this trend has far-reaching significance: "Nonmarriage and infertility will liberate women's fettered bodies, time, and minds from the bottom of the patriarchal structure - the family and daily life... More women will thus become free atoms. How exciting this is in the long run the trend of."

The challenge feminism faces on the issue of "anti-marriage and anti-childbirth" is to realize that outside the marriage system and the mainstream system, the living space for women is narrow. After all, that is the problem, especially in China, when all resources are concentrated in the system, including the mainstream way of life, this society will have strong punishment and discipline for those who do not enter the system. This is people who are too young (have not yet entered society and are under pressure to survive), people who have lived overseas for a long time (living in a more inclusive and diverse society), and people in the elite class (have sufficient personal resources to cope with the pressure of the environment ) It is difficult to have personal experience.

A simple truth: people are involved in this oppressive system and suffer exploitation because they want to obtain the basic needs of being human, as well as the value and meaning of life. Feminism deconstructs the oppressive logic of patriarchy and the "meaning" it constructs—such as the "romantic love myth", but feminism does not provide an alternative system to catch women's emotions, desires, and sense of meaning. Then when a "free" woman enters a wilderness, when her body and spirit are facing great isolation and deprivation, this is the real frontier of feminism, and it also leads directly to the confrontation with this authoritarian society and era. occasions.

In the Chinese environment, a woman chooses not to get financial, sexual and emotional satisfaction in the family (after all, the quality is poor), then they come to the market, 996, garbage jobs full of sexism and sexual harassment, in slut shaming and In a misogynistic culture, can satisfying sex on dating apps really restore their dignity? When involved in more brutal competition, can fighting all the way to become "strong" eliminate their "vulnerability"? Don't women (in fact, everyone) seek refuge and comfort in personal relationships precisely because they are frustrated and humiliated in this social environment?

Just like Lu Xun asked: What happened after Nora left? When the "outside world" that a woman encounters is barren, how can she resist the strong urge to slip back into the family and the system, and at least settle for some basic personal needs, instead insist on staying behind, and even go further and deeper ( There is a place where even feminism can't provide an answer), which just embodies the responsibility of a feminist. I'm afraid I don't have the guts to make it this far, but I'm thankful that feminism has pushed me to this position, and actually seeing some of my predecessors walking beyond the frontier inspired me to imagine a new world.

In this context, whether it is to say "feminism is inclusive, feminists choose not to marry or marry, as long as they are free" or "women will be punished no matter what they choose" is just whitewashing . Of course, it’s not that these words are wrong—they are simply right, but when we say these words, can we see our own luck and carelessness?

Responsibility as a feminist, i.e. why do you consider yourself a feminist as opposed to an "average woman"? Doesn't this sense of responsibility come from waking up to the fact that choices mean everything, that choices make change? —Even choosing to choose is a subject. I choose to deny the dividend, I choose to accept the punishment, I choose to live with vulnerability, I choose to live a life of scarcity, and I choose a life free from fear and exploitation. Not because we are "noble," but because we firmly believe that it will ultimately be in our own interest and that of others. Isn't "anti-marriage and anti-fertility" just because of the real pain women suffer in the marriage system? If the conclusion offered by feminism is that it makes no difference whether you get married or not (whether it's as good or as bad), it's up to you if you want to, then what nonsense are we talking about? When we ignore the "elephant in the room", how do we define the freedom of individual women?

In this sense, feminism has gone beyond its functions of "spiritual massage", "fashion items", and "patriarchal head flowers", and has shown its revolutionary power. Bomi said: "We and this era are mutual causes and effects." The bad environment has already put the front line of resistance on every individual. It seems that this is an era when everyone's compromise and even depravity can be forgiven, but it is actually an era that requires each of us to keep our own values, ethics, and responsibilities. The retreat of every decent man will be the retreat of all of us. When we find that we can no longer hide under the warm, healing, and "empowering" shelter of feminism, when it reveals the cruel truth and the true meaning of struggle, and requires us to give up our privileges, constantly reflect, and fulfill our responsibilities , I was as intimidated and "persuaded" as you are, and even wanted to flee because of timidity. But because I have seen the powerful voices formed by the grassroots feminist community today, and the scene where my comrades are blooming everywhere, I will also be relieved that you and I are no longer alone. When I stand on the edge of the choice again, I hope that my performance will not be too bad.