[Multi-family marriage] Same marriage is still not equal? Interview with Taiwan's first gay two-parent adoptive family

Written by: Chris
Text Editor: Winnie
Website Editor: EQ

On January 13, 2022, Wang Zhenwei (wei dad) and Chen Junru (meow dad) took their daughter "Rourou" for official parent-child adoption registration. Before leaving, the parents briefly explained the itinerary to their daughter: "Dad Meow will officially become the father of flesh and blood." The innocent 3.5-year-old daughter responded: "You are my father!" The most sincere expression of family affection There is nothing more than this, which makes people ask: Who has the right to deny a child's right to be protected by both parents?

It is often said that Taiwan's homosexuality process is ahead of Asia. After all, same-sex marriage has been implemented locally for nearly three years. Recently, it has ushered in the first legally recognized "same-sex spouse unrelated adoption family". If you don't carefully read and analyze the news of Tongyun, you will think that there are many good news and the process of affirmative action is ideal. In fact, Taiwan's "Same-sex Marriage Law" differs from heterosexual marriage in terms of rights and treatment. It has been hailed by the media as the first family in Asia to be legally adopted by both gay parents and has also gone through a lengthy application process and legal proceedings. Just after celebrating the Lunar New Year in Kaohsiung's hometown, the two fathers were interviewed by G-point in the form of a recording, and talked about the beginning of the adoption process along the way - "We are a family that came together because of love, and we hope to share this love together. Continue on to others."

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Daddy who takes care of his daughter day and night is a stranger in law

The love run between Dad Wai and Dad Meow began 16 years ago. The two met at Changhua Normal University, and their relationship developed from brothers to lovers. They have always had the desire to jointly organize a family and raise children. In May 2016, Dad Wai and Dad Meow decided to apply for the adoption of unrelated children together. They went through a lengthy adoption process, including consultation with social welfare agencies, adoption talks, social work evaluation, review, home visits, etc., and then the matchmaking agency arranged "matchmaking". "Meeting, the whole process is an extreme test of patience.

"I remember we brought her a toy at the time, and she seemed to be very interested in us." Dad Wai often recalled the clip in January 2019, when the two officially welcomed the five-month-old Rou Rou home. At that time, he held the flesh, sang to her and coaxed her to sleep, while Dad Meow was learning to change diapers and make milk in the game room next to him. I said to Rou Rou, "From today onwards, I will be your Daddy, and the one who soaks grandma outside and learns to change diapers is your father. We are a family, welcome you to our house, and thank your biological mother for letting We can become a family." During the process, Rou Rou fell asleep on him with the singing of Wai Dad, and he said that it was very, very unforgettable.

The protection of the special law is not as good as that of the Civil Law, and the adoption of unrelated children by same-sex spouses is blocked

Little boy did not know that the "successful reunion" of a family of three was not easy. At present, single gays can adopt children, but the special law stipulates that after marriage, gay couples can only adopt the biological children of the other party, and cannot "justifiably" jointly adopt unrelated children like heterosexual couples. Therefore, some gay families are still legally "single-parent" families, and even one of them must first file for divorce or not get married, and then apply for adoption as a "single". In order to fight for the right to jointly raise the meat, Dad Wai and Dad went through several years of application and legal procedures before winning the case and being able to legally "reunite" with their daughter, forming Taiwan's first gay parents to jointly adopt an unrelated child. family.

In order to better understand the parent-child adoption rights of married gays in Taiwan, let us first sort out the historical background of same-sex marriage. In May 2017, the Supreme Court of Taiwan's Judicial Yuan ruled that refusing same-sex marriages was unconstitutional , and the legislature must amend or enact laws within two years, otherwise same-sex couples could register their marriages in accordance with the Civil Code. Some anti-gay groups immediately countered and proposed three referendums the following year, urging the rejection of same-sex marriage into the Civil Code, in order to ensure that the marriage system of one man and one woman will not be changed.

The social worker asked me how to save my cat from being bullied

When Dad Wai and Dad Meow applied for adoption in 2018, Taiwan was going through this referendum . At that time, different social classes had different attitudes, which deeply touched Dad Meow. "There were so many anti-gay voices at the time, and even the social worker who was conducting the assessment asked us: 'As a gay parent, how would you face and respond to social prejudice and stigma?' I felt emotionally broken. As a social worker The other person actually asked: "How should I save myself if I am being bullied?" This question is really annoying, and sometimes I keep thinking about it."

Some say the 2018 referendum was a "big setback" for the marriage equality camp. Anti-gay groups won all three referendums, Article 10 established that the definition of marriage in the Civil Code is limited to one man and one woman, Article 11 successfully prevented middle schools and elementary schools from implementing gay education, and Article 12 passed the "special law" Handling the "permanent union" between same-sex couples. Since then, the "Judicial Yuan Interpretation and Implementation Law No. 748", commonly known as the "Judicial Law" , was released in May 2019, and "same-sex marriage" followed. However, the provisions on adoption by same-sex spouses stipulate that one party in a relationship can only adopt the other's "natural children", which obviously does not provide the possibility for same-sex spouses to adopt unrelated children.

Fighting for adoption rights surrounds dad: children have the right to have both parents

Going back to the situation of Dad Wai and Dad Meow, due to the provisions of the "July 48 Special Law", Dad Wai must change to a single status to continue the adoption process. After the adoption procedures were officially completed, Dad Wai and Dad Meow were officially registered in January 2020. However, Dad Meow, as the legal same-sex spouse of Dad, has been raising his daughter together, but he cannot legally become a fleshy family member, and he has no right to deal with his daughter's medical decision. If this unequal regulation is not revised, Meow Dad can only be a real but anonymous parent, and other same-sex parents in similar situations will always face the same problem. At the beginning of 2021, Dad Wai and Dad Meow decided to file a lawsuit and once again entered the legal process that cost time and money. Dad Meow said frankly: "I was a little scared and worried at first, but then I thought about it, in addition to our own and fleshly rights, the reality is that there will be more and more comrades who want to adopt bloodless adoptions. Start a family; we stand up to find a way to change the law, this is not a personal matter, and many people will be affected.”

There were also two other gay adoptive families filed at the same time, but only Dad Wai and Dad Meow won the case. Their victory cannot bind other judicial and administrative organs, so other gay families must continue to fight for law revision and constitutional interpretation in order to achieve further marriage equality. A dad who has been involved in the gay movement since high school said: "Our children should have the right to have both parents. It's a matter of course. They are like children in all families, and this right shouldn't be taken away just because their parents are same-sex. Deprived. We don’t ask for more than others, we just strive for something that everyone deserves. It’s a sad thing if even that becomes a luxury.”

Is there a "social consensus" for equal rights? Wai dad: They just deny they are biased

Sad? On the other side of Hong Kong, even the consultation and discussion on the legislation of the "Sexual Orientation Discrimination Ordinance" is still far away, and the frequent response is: "The society has not yet reached a general consensus." What do you two think of "social consensus" and what does it represent in the gay movement? Meow Dad said: "Actually, I think Taiwanese comrades can't use the "Civil Law" to get married, and another "July 48 Special Law" to deal with same-sex marriage is also a problem formed because of "not enough social consensus". "July 48" The current state of China's law, with those deficiencies or flaws, is a result of negotiation. Is this a lack of social consensus? I don't know. But in this part of our fight for rights, I personally feel that it is better to think about it. It is more important that we think about the spirit of Taiwan society and what direction it should go. Compared with the so-called social consensus, I think the thinking attitude of those in power is more related to the rulings of those in power.”

Wai Dad said, "I'm not very familiar with the situation in Hong Kong, but as far as I know, whoever has the right to speak and who has more social resources will forcefully pass certain things and enforce certain laws. I think everyone They should all be familiar with each other, right? To be honest, the law can't serve prejudice. People who say they need to build enough social consensus, they just don't want to admit that they have a lot of prejudice and don't understand. If they really want social consensus, it's up to these legislations 、People in the political circles help the whole society to understand marriage equality and gay families. Let everyone reduce misunderstandings, dispel rumors and prejudices, and social consensus will naturally form. Don't use "inadequate social consensus" to perfunctory things, but real Let’s do something to make society kinder.”

Communities share heritage experiences so gay families are not alone

The special page " Wai Dad and Miao Dad's Parent-Child Daily" operated by Dad Wai and Dad Meow not only regularly updates the life insights of a family of three, but also unexpectedly became a consultation channel. They not only received congratulatory messages from everyone, but also received messages from many comrades who were preparing to start a family to inquire about the experience and details of adoption. Dad Meow said: "I'm happy to chat with them, and then provide them with relevant resources or information, because we also asked some heterosexual and gay seniors. This love needs to be passed on." Now there are many more The family has adopted a child, so they set up a LINE group, hoping to support and discuss each other through this group. Meow Dad said: "We hope to establish a connection and identity by meeting each other's children to play together, and let them know that they are not alone. There are also families in Taiwan like them. Both parents are gay, and they also start a family through adoption."

Do they have anything to say to gay friends overseas, especially those who are out of reach for marriage or adoption?

"I think it's OK to have reasonable expectations and do what we can. I thought in high school that it might take 30 years to see marriage equality, and now I've waited nearly 20 years to see it happen. It happened." Dad said.

Further reading: [Ultimate finishing] An article on 10 legal protections for same-sex couples/spouses in Hong Kong

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