In the face of the child, don't be embarrassed to chat even if there is no topic, otherwise you may cause his shadow...

Shortly before the Lunar New Year, many friends wailing on my social networking site, a friend who is a doctoral student is worried that relatives will ask him when he will graduate? Single friend worried that relatives will ask him when he will have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Friends who go out of the society are worried that relatives ask him how much money he earns a month? Married friend worried about relatives asking when he will have a baby? ... On the surface, it should be a happy family holiday, but it is a difficult level for many people to overcome.

However, only adults have a very "sad" New Year's Eve, so children must have a good time? Not necessarily so...

After every festival, many teachers always like to write articles such as "Remember the Fun of ○○ Festival", hoping that children will write happy and pleasant memories. Therefore, even if there are unhappy memories, children have no chance to express them, which makes us mistakenly think that children are always happy during the festival. In my opinion , a very important function of writing is to express emotions. If adults limit children to only write positive content without giving them channels to vent their negative emotions, then children will be accustomed to suppressing their true self, and adults will not be able to understand them. The voice of the child, let alone the inner healing through writing.

One year, I had a whimsical idea. In the first class after the Chinese New Year, I came up with a composition title "New Year's Joys and Hardships", asking the children to share a happy and unhappy thing that happened during the New Year. I originally thought they were better at writing about happy things, but I didn't expect to write about unhappy things—their emotions that had been accumulated for a long time seemed to suddenly burst, and I was stunned that one of them wrote more indignantly than the other.

After reading their work, I realized:

 Sometimes your inadvertent question will put pressure on the child, and someone will ask you "what's your salary?", "when will you get married?"... The pain caused by brainless questions is exactly the same!

Next, let's take a look at what troubles adults bring to children during the Chinese New Year?

First of all, more than one student said in the article that the worst thing to do is to go to a relative's house. Every time he sees an adult, he is asked, " What grade are you now? " The problem, let her collapse! That night, she and her younger brother had a dream that their aunt kept asking them questions, which still haunts them to this day.

Secondly, many adults do not know whether it is out of comparison, or if there is no topic to talk about embarrassingly, they like to ask children, " How is your homework ?" "How is your homework?" Children's ears, but it will make them very hurt. Think about it: How would you feel if your salary is not much and your elders keep asking how much you earn?

Finally, " Are you full? " is also a question that adults like to talk about awkwardly. It doesn't seem malicious, but it's not so comfortable to answer it several times in a row.

In addition to the above-mentioned troubles that adults bring to children, other things like going on a New Year's Day trip but being stuck in traffic jams, being taken away by parents for the New Year's money, having to eat leftovers in the refrigerator for a while after the New Year, etc. It's something that will spoil your child's enjoyment of vacation.

"It's Chinese New Year! Children are carefree, they should all be happy!" Since I designed this class, I finally found out that this is the stereotype of us adults. If you don't give them a chance to "remember their sorrows", but only "remember their fun", of course, you won't be able to see their experiences or understand their feelings.

But I whispered: children are asked brainless questions by elders, but they have red envelopes to take; we adults are asked brainless questions by elders, and we have to give red envelopes to elders - it is better to be children...