Listen to your inner voice: existence, melancholy, and happiness

Sometimes, when we wake up in the morning, we feel that our brain has not been turned on yet and we have not thought about what we will do today; however, we do not feel any joy.

At this time, we should listen to the warning signals from our own hearts.

Recently (8/17), I received a piece of news on the Internet. I once again felt the fragility of people's lives, so I started writing this article. Based on the information I have received so far, I guess it is more likely to be a moment of emotional excitement. If the time could have been longer, or if he had been rescued later, it is very likely that he would have regretted it very much.

Let’s talk about “suffering.” Often, when we, or someone close to us and loved by us, suffers great pain, we often cannot help but doubt the meaning of life.

On the one hand, doubting the meaning of life is very painful. It shakes our hope, enjoyment, and joy for the future, and makes it difficult for us to persist and steadily follow the current path of solving problems. But on the other hand, none of us can deny that the future is very uncertain and there will still be pain; and at the end of this road we will reach death. So, what exactly is our life "for"? What reasons can support us to continue to endure the pain now and in the future?

This brings us to the difference between "sadness" and "melancholy." "Sadness" is directed at certain people, oneself, and certain things; "sadness" has an "object." The reason for sadness is that my love for a certain person, or the life and beauty of the other person that I have experienced, has been endangered, attacked, or even destroyed. Then of course we will feel sad; sadness is the damage and disappearance of something "good".

So what is "melancholy"? "Melancholy" is directed at "life" itself, or in other words, at the relationship between "oneself and oneself". Often, when our lives have endured too much and too deep pain, we will wonder: will the future really get better? Even if the future gets better, one day it will still be destroyed. My life and people's lives are for "what"?

This kind of doubt about the "meaning" of life is very scary; sometimes, people do get tripped up by this idea, which leads to regrets. However, just to face the problem squarely and alleviate this huge doubt in our hearts, we have to say: In fact, doubts about the fundamental meaning of "life" have great positive value in our lives.

Even if we doubt the fundamental meaning of life, we still cannot deny that it is precisely because life is meaningful to "me" that I "want to know" what it is. Even if we doubt the fundamental meaning of life, we still cannot deny: Even assuming that everyone's future is unfortunate, I still long for happiness and want to be away from pain.

"Melancholy" gives us an opportunity to not rely on the work we are doing, not based on a fixed goal, event, or situation; not to use others as the "sustenance" of our happiness, but to treat them as the same as ourselves. A "companion" who pursues happiness together. We need to face ourselves, with our own identities, wishes, and hesitations, to face the endless drive for happiness and love for life deep in our hearts.

If we borrow the terminology of Tiantai: everyone longs for happiness, and everyone is a pursuer of "reasonable" happiness. However, if our trust in life is challenged by "melancholy", then only when we pass the test of "melancholy" and are willing to use our own identity to be honest and bear the responsibility for this confrontation within us Only with the desire and urge for happiness can we become happiness seekers who "observe actions" or "divide evidence".

That is to say, on the difficult road, on the road where happiness seems impossible to be achieved, we are willing to bear our own love and pursuit of happiness instead of belittling and rejecting it. We are willing to accept the fact that "I pursue happiness, but the final result may be failure." We will no longer use wrong means to achieve the freedom from pain in our minds.

I also pray that all those who have passed away can be supported by a mysterious force and continue their unfinished journey in a world we cannot see.

2022/08/19

references

By Kay Redfield Jamison. Translated by Katie Hsieh: "Everything Is Gone", Taipei: Tianxia Culture, 2010.

By H. Norman Wright. Translated by Wang Yuwei: "Love Beyond a Lifetime: Healing and Reconstruction of Life after Losing the Other Half", Taipei City: Universe Light, 2012.

Li Zhen: "Existence and Anguish", "From Existence to Eternity", Taipei: Taiwan Business, 1995.