Charisma is revealed through principles and positions

Mar 15, 2022

You stand firm and you are the best

Once I went to a bar with a certain girl. There was a lot of noise in the bar. The bar was playing lively music. We found a place near the bar to sit down, ordered a glass of wine each, tasted it carefully, and chatted. Who kept sending messages to her, so that she didn't know how to be euphemistic without hurting the other party's rejection. At this time, more and more people came to the bar, and the music in the bar became louder and louder, which affected our feelings. During the conversation, I stood up and walked to the bar and politely said to the waiter, "I'm sorry, could you please turn down the music a little bit, it will affect our conversation."

When the girl saw my move, she was surprised at my move. After a while, she lowered her head and smiled, then raised her head and said, "So that's what happened." I smiled and nodded. In an instant, she understood the meaning of my actions, and then we talked about other unrelated things, and her mood was much better.

If you want to explain it through words, the request itself is an act of firm stance. If you easily give up the principle because you are "sorry" or "don't want to cause trouble to others", it is an act of obliterating yourself. Ignore it, this is the behavior that is most likely to cause harm, don't forget that "not making a choice" is also a choice in itself

Feeling pressured by the other person's message
do not want to hurt each other
want to communicate naturally

These principles must follow your heart. As long as you convey these three points to the other party well and politely, I believe it will not be difficult. In fact, the girl's problem is very simple, just like the music in the bar is too loud, as long as you stand firm, stick to the principles, and ask politely, worry about hurting others? If you don't mean to hurt the other party, how can you hurt the other party? If unintentional mistakes happen, it is unavoidable, and it is impossible for people to cover everything and everything. If it happens, it is good to take responsibility. What must be done before sticking to the principles is to bear the pressure and responsibility of unintentional mistakes.

People who are unwilling to give up anything are absolutely powerless to change anything.