Poetry and wine take advantage of the years

This is the preface of the e-book "Snowy Claw" that Xiao N wrote to us for the 10th anniversary of riding. At his request, I posted it on matters, and there is also a cover designed by Xiao Hei as the cover of this article. Save it here.

One day in May, Wu Xiaohei and I were sighing, we have been riding the Sichuan-Tibet line for ten years, and we cannot prepare to rearrange the travel notes of the previous rides and publish an e-book. And I write the preface again. After the college entrance examination, I rarely write more than 800 words of articles, and I read a lot of books. Even if I have a lot of thoughts, but I can't express it with my pen, I always write it out.

In May 2012, I was 33 years old, Xiaohei was 25 years old, and I was 26 years old. I couldn’t propose to ride the Sichuan-Tibet line. Xiaohei was the first to respond. They decided to resign to ride. I was hesitant and decided to join at the last moment. , If I hadn't gone at that time, I'd probably regret my bowels now. At that time, there were no Douyin, Xiaohongshu, or Station B. Everyone knew that they couldn’t keep a running account on a certain forum . They couldn’t be responsible for text output at that time without asking for anything in return. It is very popular, earning a lot of money, and it is impossible to miss the net red bonus period. At present, it is only a passing net red, and it is a breeze.

At that time, there were new four customs popular on the Internet: "open a coffee shop in the city, quit your job and go to Tibet, open an inn in Lijiang, and ride the Sichuan-Tibet line". Putting it in this place now, it is simply a clear stream in the mudslide. At that time, we didn't have a house or a car, we only had black hair and the ability to urinate against the wind. I couldn't meet me in 11 years. At that time, Xiao Hei was just our netizen. The first time I saw Xiao Hei in real life was in May 2012. After we met for 15 days, we set foot on the Sichuan-Tibet line together. , where do you dare to put it now, what if it is a bad person? What if I don't come to the occasion? One of the advantages of being young is that it is very simple and naive. You can open your heart to believe in others and give your sincerity to others. This is why it is difficult to make friends as you get older.

Singing in the daytime requires booze. Before departure, friends organized several wine parties to see us off. Everyone was full of admiration for our riding, but also worried about our safety and fear of the risks on the road. At that time, they thought that the Tibetan people were fierce and bloody, and the journey was full of unknowns. .

Youth is a good companion. We, who have no riding experience at all, under the guidance of Brother Long, spent more than ten days to modify the bicycle and purchase riding equipment. The superb cooking master Yuan Shan Go went to the vegetable market to buy us more than ten kilograms of beef, made beef jerky at home, and distributed it to us in bags. He was afraid that we would not eat well on the road, so he made a A large package of sour beans with minced meat was given to us. Later, the beef jerky really helped us along the way, but because the sour beans were spoiled, we threw them away before we finished eating. We have kept this secret for ten years, and we dare not tell it. Brother Yuanshan. Uncle Hao bought a lot of medicines for us, and also watched the stars at night. He pointed out that the auspicious day of departure is June 1st. With the help of relatives and friends, we were ignorant and on our way.

Once the past becomes a memory, it becomes fascinating. If someone asks me if riding the Sichuan-Tibet line is very hard, my body is in hell, my eyes are in heaven, I will try my best to recall it, and then tell him that the hard work has been completely forgotten. Now, there is only happiness in the memory. Humans are a very magical species. Physical pain sometimes stimulates the secretion of pleasant dopamine. Cycling, running, and hiking are suffering from physical collapse, and the body is sore. At that time, they would reflect on why they abused themselves, and they could be comfortable at home. The air-conditioning, watching dramas, drinking milk tea, and swearing never to come again next time, but once the body returns to normal, these pains will be forgotten, and there will only be happy feelings left in the memory, and I will come again next time, over and over again. . Material poverty will also give people a sense of fulfillment. Probably, Chinese people feel that they were born in distress and died in peace, and their sense of crisis is particularly strong. They feel that happiness is short-lived, and poverty is the essence of life. Ascetic monk, people feel fulfilled. As the old saying goes, you can be a good person if you eat hard and suffer, but I have always questioned that this sentence is the originator of PUA. You can't see the soil in front of the door, and there are no tiles on the house. People, so people who suffer and suffer are generally subordinate to people.

The days of riding are happy, and all kinds of things on the road are fresh. I have never seen snow-capped mountains when I came from the sea. The first time I saw snow-capped mountains was Xinduqiao on the cycling road. The inn we stayed in was from the window. You can see the Jiazi Peak (6549 meters above sea level) of the Gongga Mountains. The mysterious and far-reaching snow-capped mountains shocked me, the mountain gate was as deep as the sea, and I have been a mountain chaser ever since. In the next ten years, I started a journey of chasing mountains in western Sichuan, and when I was on vacation, I went to the west of Sichuan. Gongga, the king of Shushan, Yaomei Peak after Shushan, the towering Genie, and the Queer Mountain, where the swallows could not fly, are all my dreams. The snow-capped mountains in western Sichuan, I go to worship them again and again with excitement, no matter how many times I have seen them, every time I see them, my heart is full of emotions. I am an unbeliever, but if there is a sect of Snow Mountain, I must be a devout believer.

In the evening of Xinduqiao, we climbed the surrounding hills, the meadows were full of flowers, the yaks were grazing on the hillside, and a few Tibetan girls were singing. Climbing to the top of the mountain, you will be at the top of the mountain, and you will see the small mountains. In the distant Gongga Mountain, Zeng Yun was dangling on his chest, revealing only his snow-white waist. The sunset is infinitely good, the sunset is slowly turning red, the shepherd drives the calf back...

This moment was so beautiful. I was so excited that I called the far mountain outside the far mountain, and sent a text message to my parents far away, "Mom and Dad, I love you." This text went to nothing, and there was no reply, because I knew my parents wouldn't read it at all, and I just couldn't help but want to send it to them. This is the gap between our generation and our parents. We want to share a lot of our joys, sorrows and sorrows with them, but because our three views are so different, every time we communicate, we let them follow their words. Chinese parents They rarely reflect on themselves, often treat their children as children forever, and do what they are obediently and gratefully. This is their mantra. They don't realize that the child has come ahead of them in thought. I am very envious of some parents. No matter how old they are, they are still learning and growing. My parents, because they are in the countryside, their thoughts have remained unchanged for decades. Style, but still can not be equal to them.

I am from the southern country, I like to eat rice, I am from the northwest can not like to eat pasta, and Xiaohei from the northeast can do both. Xiao Hei has a good personality, and the youngest, he is always a peacemaker. When riding during the day, I dislike my lack of physical strength, and I always ride slowly, but I lead the horse and lead the ride in front, and I can't fall behind, so I don't care about him. Xiao Hei had better physical strength than me and was fully capable of riding to the front, but in order to take care of the inability, he always looked ahead and took care of the two of us. After a day of riding, the night is a battle between me and the incapable, whether to eat rice or noodles, to live better or to live in a better place, we are always arguing and not giving in to each other. Because I couldn't be born in the countryside, and some of our personalities are very similar, we are both relatively indifferent and arrogant people, and we are stubborn. If there is no mediation by Xiao Hei, our friendship may be broken. parted ways. Xiao Hei is sometimes our leader. When there is a problem with the car, he is always the first to fix it. If he is the first to reach the end of the day, he will always arrange everything properly, even The wild dog we can't avoid on the road likes him very much. It's really a dog's love, and a car sees a tire blowout.

We all have social fears, we are afraid to communicate with strangers, and when someone wants to join the three of us along the way, we all reject them one by one, because it is really difficult to adapt to other people. Especially me, I am a person who is very afraid of trouble. I would rather trouble myself than trouble others. The more people there are, the more nervous I become. When I was a child, I was especially afraid of life. I was the most naive child in the eyes of my parents. Call, hide if you can. I remember when I was in junior high school, I went back to my grandpa’s house to take a bath and eat every evening after school, but my grandfather lived at the end of the village, so I had to walk through the whole village normally, so I would have to bump into relatives. In order not to see all kinds of relatives, I would take a detour every day, and I would rather Walking on the barren mountains, I don't want to see people. Humans are complex animals and are particularly aggressive, but wild flowers, wild grass, and animals in the mountains are very cute. Seeing them makes me calm, even now. There are few worldly rhymes, and the nature loves Qiushan. It is a person like me. But in a country like China that needs both sides, I don't know all kinds of worldly customs. With such a character, I am destined to be mediocre and achieve nothing.

Stuffing the empty promise of cattle and sheep, the temples are already stained in the mirror. After the ride, I still met on the Qinghai-Tibet Line and the New-Tibet Line, but after I came back, I had to try my best to live as others expected, mainly because my parents expected. They are all influenced by their parents in various ways, controlled by society, and can never get rid of them. Each has been worn out in life without temper. Now the body is fat, the hair is sparse, and the temples are dyed with cream. Before, all kinds of rhetoric were made into jokes. I occasionally mention it when I can’t chat, otherwise we will resign and ride the new Tibetan line together, right? Both of them said yes, yes, when will they resign. But we all know that it's impossible, we've just been addicted to the mouth, he has his parents to take care of, I have my mortgage to pay, and Xiao Hei is even more difficult, not only to take care of his parents but also to repay the mortgage , the weight is approaching 200 pounds. The last time he rode around the city, none of the mountain bikes he rode ran over the shared bikes we rode. My physical strength and energy are not as good as before, and there are a lot of distracting thoughts in my heart. I always regret that this body is not mine. When will I forget about it and ignore external factors, I ask myself, if I really do it again like I did in the past, can I set off without hesitation? I will hesitate, the pure scenery has been difficult to impress me, and I am already the person who cannot endure hardship.

Why should we cut candles in the west window together, but talk about Bashan when it rains at night. When will we go on a long-distance ride again, a friend said to wait until retirement. It is estimated that there are still 30 years before retirement. It would be good for our generation to retire at the age of 65. The physical condition after retirement is also uncertain, and it is also unknown whether it will be possible to live to retirement. People like us who have no children and no children should not pin their hopes on retirement, otherwise we will lose completely. Think about those people who have children in groups. When the time comes, there will be people lying on the bed and asking for warmth. Children care about the end of the property. Who, it's so lively, and we live alone in a nursing home watching Xiao Xianrou, it's so desolate. Then we can only overtake on the corners. While others are supporting their families, we should swim in the mountains and play with water, and let the white deer and green cliffs beside us. If we have to go, we will ride to visit famous mountains.

Life is full of love and infatuation, and this hatred has nothing to do with the wind and the moon. After the Sichuan-Tibet line, I fell in love with the blue sky and white clouds on the plateau, and fell in love with the religious atmosphere of the Tibetan area. Especially as I get older, I am more and more interested in the human landscape, just like Li Bai when I was young and Du Fu when I am old. Now the transportation is convenient, cars, trains and planes, each one is faster than the other, but it seems that people's footsteps have been imprisoned, and young people are all testing the public. Unpredictable, it is difficult for aspiring young people to run things silently. On the contrary, retired aunts and uncles, carrying DSLRs around the world, have seen a huge increase in the sales of silk scarves. My passport will expire next year. I don’t know when I will go abroad next time. Don’t say it. I haven’t been to many places in China.

All things are contemplative. Traveling and reading are two of my favorite activities. Reading a good book in the dead of night is a great pleasure for me. Although it will be forgotten after reading it often, it will bring me strength every time, making me have a kind of arrogance that everyone is drunk and only me is awake. Sometimes the journeys we take, they will affect us in the future, giving us the ability to heal, just like the love our parents gave us when we were young, this love is a deposit they gave us, and we can keep withdrawing as an adult. This deposit is used to heal yourself. This ride on the Sichuan-Tibet line is also a good deposit. I have seen beautiful scenery along the way, and the most beautiful scenery in the world is Renqing. The three of us climbed the mountains, lived together, and spent four For more than ten days, under the Gaoer Temple Mountain, the gray-headed soil face was like a miner, walking together in the dark tunnel of Batang, in Mangkang Xiaohei and unable to give me a life, freezing together on Dongda Mountain, watching in the wind and rain When we arrived at the rainbow, we couldn't hold back the tears when we saw the Potala Palace... The friendship between the three of us was the biggest reward of my ride, and it will be a long time in the future, when I encounter depression , I am constantly extracting happiness from this beautiful ride.

Shaky, ten years have passed. According to Chinese standards, these ten years have been mediocre. I have no family, no career, no offspring, thirty years have passed, but I haven't stood up, forty is not confused, and life is coming. Even more confused, just like his peers, he lived in the dark, and he was a diligent and soulless migrant worker. My bicycle was stolen after I came back from riding in 2012. Since then, I have never ridden a bicycle except the shared bicycle for commuting to and from get off work. The backpack at that time is still at home, full of dust, and it contains the bicycles of the time. Helmet, raincoat and computer. The photos of the ride at that time, I occasionally turn over to look at it, and my heart is not disturbed. When friends chat, they will occasionally mention that the three of us have ridden the Sichuan-Tibet line. Seeing the admiration cast by others, I will feel a little proud in my heart. Every June 1st, I will post a circle of friends to prove that we have ridden. attracted a wave of compliments. But I knew in my heart that this part of the ride was far away from me.

Close to nostalgia, I dare not ask anyone. Our fate came from the impossible posts. Back then, I couldn't say that I was middle-aged, and I wanted to roll my eyes for him. Now that it's all in front of us, we are indeed all middle-aged. Now that we all live in Chengdu, we can get together from time to time to share the joys, sorrows and joys of life. In order to commemorate this ride, we felt that we should invite everyone to have a meal, so we started to gather together to discuss the list of invitees, whether to drink tea, eat, sing, and play. , people are panicking, and economic factors must also be considered. Middle-aged people spend a lot of money in places, and they can save money if they can. Some of the friends who sent us off for cycling have not been in touch for many years, so the list of personnel has been simplified again and again, and the places to eat are changed again and again. , Before the dinner party was finalized, the company suddenly arranged a business trip to Lhasa. Ten years later, I returned to Lhasa. The plane landed at Gonggar Airport. When I walked out of the airport, I looked up at the low white clouds, which were still the floating clouds on the plateau that moved me. The work is not going well, things are more difficult than I imagined, I keep visiting unfamiliar leaders, flattering and saying awkward words, I am depressed, and I rarely feel lonely, but there are those who feel lonely and helpless for a moment. . No matter how much you like a place with a bad mood, it's hard to appreciate it.

Everywhere in life knows what it is like, it should be like Feihong stepping on slush. Riding a battery car to the Potala Palace, Jokhang Temple, and Barkhor Street, all the buildings are still the same as ten years ago, but the scene of tourists and prosperity is gone. In the past, people from all over the world came to Lhasa to heal their emotional wounds and cleanse their souls. In this place where literature, art and religion blended, sparks collided, but in Lhasa under the epidemic, the door was deserted. Ten years ago, I believed that everything was going for the better, and I felt that my destiny would be different, but ten years later I found that I was only a drop in the ocean. For three meals a day, I was slaving away. In this era, it gives me the feeling that after a thousand sails, a boat may sink, a thousand trees may be a diseased tree after a spring, and an international metropolis is already green with moss marks, and the grass is green. I wonder if the border towns can be fine, but he said: This peace of mind is my hometown.

Ten years ago, I used to think about cycling the world. Ten years later, when I entered middle age, I gradually felt that I was not confused. On Saturday, I rode a battery car to Sera Monastery to read the scriptures. The lamas sat in twos and threes under the shade of a tree to debate, and I sat quietly beside me to watch. On Sunday, I went to climb Nanshan Park, and I gave up after only one tenth of the climb. The mountain never stops. In the evening, I went to the Potala Palace Square and met a group of graduates, young and lively, full of vigor. I thought that I was like them, laughing loudly and bursting into tears. Now I am sitting in the hotel by the Lhasa River, listening to the sound of the waves of the Lhasa River, the Potala Palace outside the window is still brightly lit, I am very calm, and I have no doubts, the desolate beauty or magnificence in nature, the beauty of interpersonal relationships The joys and sorrows can no longer scare me, I am like a bystander, silently, appreciating from a distance, my heart is clear and quiet.

In the next ten years, we will enter the stage of knowing our destiny, and I hope we will still have the courage to set out at that time. I also hope that we will be able to sleep on the bed in the rain without waiting ten years. See you on the Xinzang line!

Small nature in Lhasa

May 24, 2022