You Are Not Really Happy

Hello everyone, my name is Marley. This is a small channel dedicated to improving your thinking ability and tearing fifty cents. In each issue, we will combine a political and economic case to help you analyze the reasons behind it and different thinking dimensions.

On May 9, 2021, a student fell from the building at No. 49 Middle School in Chengdu, Sichuan Province. A 17-year-old boy ended his Mood for Love. Everyone must have heard about what happened. Those most paradoxical links have already been heatedly discussed on the Internet, such as why there is no surveillance video before the students fall from the building? Why were the classmates of the deceased asked to be completely silenced? Why did the announcement of the relevant department arouse the dissatisfaction of the family members of the parties and the whole people? Why didn't a public media report the incident? The crisis of trust in China's social fairness and justice has once again attracted public attention.

It is not difficult to find that every time a similar incident occurs, many people will vent their emotions on the perpetrator from the perspective of sympathy for the victim, or rage against social and institutional problems. When the heat of things passes, everyone will forget about it and continue to enjoy the little luck of the powerful people. Therefore, I will not discuss the above issues. Today, we might as well return the focus to the person concerned, and try to analyze the reasons behind this incident and what enlightenment it can give us from the perspective of social psychology.

According to the official news, the cause of Lin's death was suicide by falling from a building. Judging from the evidence presented so far, I am more in favor of suicidal behavior. As for the rumor on the Internet that his chemistry teacher was pushed down the stairs for some reason, there is currently no reasonable evidence, and I personally find it hard to believe that a teacher can murder a student in broad daylight, so I am currently inclined to commit suicide. If the truth comes out one day and it's clear that he was murdered, then I'll slap myself in the face.

Since the premise of our hypothesis is suicide, one symptom has to be mentioned is "depression". According to the World Health Organization (WHO), nearly 265 million people worldwide suffer from depression. According to 2019 data from the National Health Commission, the prevalence of depression in China is 2.1%, and the prevalence of anxiety disorders is 4.98%. That is, at least 7,000W people in China are symptomatic of depression. A survey and research on depression in China shows that the proportion of depression in the western provinces represented by Sichuan and Gansu is relatively high in the whole country. And this time the incident happened in Chengdu, Sichuan, I would rather believe it was just a coincidence.

When it comes to depression, we will naturally think of a person whose life is not going well, his head is downcast, and he looks like he has no love for life. But is this the case? I often hear the example of a certain star committing suicide because of depression. It seems that before, no one could notice that he has depression, or that he has always been a healthy and cheerful person, and no one has ever thought that he has this symptom and want to end his life. Let's go back to the example of this case. According to the description of the client's mother, classmate Lin has always been a sunny and cheerful teenager with good academic performance. Why did he suddenly commit suicide by jumping off the building? It seems that no one can accept this sudden ending. The handling of the department is secretive, and naturally the public will turn their anger on the school, teachers and relevant authorities. This is also a normal emotional catharsis. As for the issue of schools and third parties, we have already talked about it at the beginning. This is not to excuse the responsibility of these people, but the information is too opaque, and there seems to be nothing worth analyzing except conspiracy theories.

Let's go back to the client's own problem. If a happy child suddenly jumps off the building and commits suicide, then the big reason is that the child himself already has a relatively serious depression, and with some external stimulation, it is easy to break out suddenly. Hence the idea of suicide. Among patients with depression, there is a major depressive disorder with atypical symptoms called "smiling depression" , or "High-functioning Major Depressive " (High-functioning Major Depressive)

Unlike general overt depression, this "atypical" reason is that everyone is different and does not manifest in any visible way. A distinguishing feature is that these patients are very positive when they respond to positive events, thus feeling like they are a healthy and upbeat persona. They are very happy in front of others, even have a good sense of humor, love to make people happy, and they may seem to be very social, friendly, and even the "pistachio" of everyone they know. But behind the mask of smiles and optimism, there is a sense of worthlessness, incompleteness and despair. Being alone is often sad. A smiling depressed person once sighed: "Since I learned to smile, expression and mood have nothing to do with it anymore". Although there are no smiling depression statistics, researchers estimate that 15 to 40 percent of people with depression experience this atypical symptom.

So why does the atypical and common symptom of "smile depression" exist?

Generally speaking, when we are young, we will not hide our feelings, and smiling is usually an external manifestation of inner joy. However, when people grow up, they have to learn to control their emotions and learn to face others with a smile, especially in the service industry. Many times, this kind of smile is not from the true feelings from the bottom of the heart, but from the needs of work, face, courtesy, dignity and responsibility, etc. Naturally, you learn to hide and wrap yourself. But in real life, everyone will have an emotional gap, but many people "kill" this normal physiological phenomenon due to work or other reasons, and they have a positive image in front of outsiders and even their family members. . Some people with true temperament are considered to be "low emotional intelligence" or "moaning". Over time, when you are truly dissatisfied with yourself, you can only "smile in front of others and cry behind others".

Then for some people who are inherently more introverted, self-esteem, perfectionist or have a sense of humor, they will be more likely to suffer from smiling depression. For introverts, it is easier for them to detect their own depression problems, but it is difficult for them to talk to others about their emotions. So often when people ask "Are you okay?", they can only answer "I'm fine! It's fine!". For perfectionists, they are strict with themselves, less accepting of their fragility and inadequacies in the field of life, and they are more likely to use forced optimism to hide their melancholy. People with a sense of humor are used to laughing in front of others, or making people laugh. It seems that this has become their label, and they are reluctant to admit and express their weak and melancholy side. It is very sad that many humorous people are considered "not sad" by others.

So, what is the cause of "smile depression"? Research shows that about 71% of people who suffer from depression try to hide their illness. There may be many reasons, but in general, smiling depressed people smile like a defense mechanism, smiling is no longer a natural expression of happiness, It is a cover-up and denial of inner sadness.

First, shame, many people think that it is a very shameful thing to have psychological problems, smiling depression people do not want to let others know their depression, think depression lacks will and vulnerability, smiling depression people with this kind of prejudice Will try to hide their own situation, avoid the society and other people's pointing, to maintain their own image.

Second, self-esteem, many smiling depressed people are reluctant to face their "depression", but expect the depression to disappear on their own. In this case, they will refuse to admit to being depressed, and even smile to affirm themselves, trying to tell themselves, "Look, depression isn't that bad, I feel good, I can still laugh."

Third, the sense of responsibility, smiling melancholy people do not want to be a burden to others. They are very afraid of bothering others, especially their own family members or loved ones. They want to be able to solve problems on their own and don't want to make themselves a burden to others. They often think "I'm fine, I'm fine, I don't want to bother you."

So it's not hard to see why people like comedians, public figures, students, etc. are the main group of smiling depression.

We go back to this case again, we may never know the family background, study background, interpersonal relationship and what happened 5 minutes before the incident. But it is basically certain that under China's current education system, as a middle school student who is about to take the college entrance examination and enter adulthood, many people have endured pressure and depression that should not be endured at their age. The care and countermeasures for the mental health of these groups are seriously insufficient. Many children who look like sunshine may have dangers inside them that we can never detect. In our daily social environment, we often promote those sunny, cheerful, positive personalities and personalities, while the melancholy, obscure and negative thoughts are often rejected and disrespected. For people with depression, they dare not expose their depression and negative side. Everyone wants to perform their best in front of others, but they constantly suppress their inner depression, unhappiness and evil. When there is nowhere to release, they often A little thing, a word that doesn't matter, is the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

Regarding the prevention and treatment of smiling depression, we can start from Freud's instinct theory. Freud believed that people have two instincts: one is the instinct of life, called "libido", which represents With the power of love and construction, it points to the growth and enhancement of life. The second is the death instinct, called "Danadus", which represents the power of hatred and destruction, manifested as the desire to die. So "life" and "death" are both human innate desires, not to mention sadness and depression? What we need to face is that everyone can be sad or not so sunny. If you find family members and friends around you in the midst of smiling blues, don't force them to tell you about their situation, it may make them more closed off. We don't have to force them to be happy, we just need to stay by their side as much as possible to make them feel safe. Instead of coaxing them to say what's on their mind, let them know that when he's willing to talk, you'll be willing to be a listener and respect their feelings, and encourage them to seek professional help.

The death of classmate Lin makes each of us feel distressed that such a young life has come to an end. Besides complaining about the handling and bureaucracy of the relevant departments, we need to pay more attention to the fact that under such a serious involution in the social order, I have seen too many suicides, from Foxconn to Huawei, from star entertainers to ordinary middle school students. I don't want to say that no snowflake is innocent, but the truth is, maybe the best friend or relative around you is suffering from smile depression, or they don't even know they're depressed . Then the values of our entire society should have gone to see a psychiatrist long ago.

Well, that's all for today's sharing. I'm Marley. If you think this video is helpful to you, please subscribe, like, share, and support. See you next time, 88.