Vagina | I masturbate during periods

Early this morning, because of menstrual pain, I couldn't sleep, so I got up and swallowed two painkillers, left the bed, and dragged my body to the door.

The night when the rainy season stops is icy and cold, and I can't see the moon mother and the stars when I look up. Only the traffic on the highway in the distance flickers into a pirated Milky Way, and my ears are arrogant frogs perched in the rice fields.

I remembered the first time I saw my period. Or should I say "blood". I thought it was blood.

At that time, maybe Rose Hitomi looked too much. When my mother went out to work, she always thought she would never come back. She was extremely uneasy and scared, so whenever she got the chance, she always stuck to her mother's ass, including when she went to the toilet.

Once, when my mother's butt left the toilet, I saw something red inside the toilet. I thought she was sick and bleeding a lot, but I didn't dare to ask, and panic spun a net on my mouth. .

At 4 or 5 o'clock, one day during the lunch break at noon, the class guide gently shook us to wake up one by one - "we" did not include male students, she made a "shh" gesture and took us to the library; a group of The little girl surrounded her like this, watching the mysterious white square object being pulled out of the teacher's pocket, she asked in a low voice, as if doing something bad: "Has any of you 'that' come?" The one standing on my left The classmate nodded shyly.

"What is that?" I was full of confusion.

"Okay, this is a sanitary napkin, you will use it later, you have to open it like this and stick it on your underwear, when you're done using it, when you go to the toilet, tear it off and roll it up like this, and throw it in the trash, okay? ?"do not know.

Concise and powerful menstrual education - no! It's just health education. But is "that" dirty? Why did the little girl who was discovered by her male classmates from "that" pretended to be calm and fled the scene in shame?

However, menstruation did not come before the graduation of primary school in my country like the other girls in the class. This is a secret that I treat as "sick", and no one can tell it, not even my mother; until my first menstruation came Before, my mother never took the initiative to mention the word "menstruation" to me.

It wasn't until the second semester of the university. One day after school, when I finished using the toilet and was about to put on my underwear, a dark red with a little brown color "appeared". The first reaction was not joy, but fear; it was obviously the long-awaited "evidence" - proving that I was not "sick", but why did I feel so scared?

That evening, while my mother was sweating like a drizzle of cooking in the kitchen, I quietly walked behind her and said timidly, "Mom, it seems like I'm here..." That, what is that?

Dark red and brownish adolescence, wet and sticky in his underwear, smelled rotten after touching the air for a while. I feel dirty.

After my mother heard it, she threw down the spatula in her hand, turned off the gas, and went to the compartment to take out a white square sheet from the "hidden box" and gave it to me.

"Put this pad on first, and I'll take you to buy sanitary pads later."

Hygienic, clean, and comfortable, but it doesn't feel like growing up; like a child who accidentally wets the bed after a certain age, sneakily, so as not to wake up his mother's "sensible", take off the sheets by himself Toilet flush.

"Damn it, it hurts to death."

Before the painkillers took effect, Nan Feng condensed my thoughts here; the dull pain in the lower abdomen and the soreness in the waist ruthlessly peeled away "I", revealing the most primitive and hideous looks like.

"You have to quickly wrap it in a thick quilt." You have to toss every twenty-nine days.

When menstruation comes, the body is very sensitive to the perception of "cold", especially in summer; when people blow electric fans, I can only hide in places where there is no wind, and my lower abdomen will hurt when I catch cold; what red bean soup, Chocolate is just a placebo, the most effective are painkillers, hot water bottles, and masturbation.

Yes, masturbation.

Couldn't get out of bed to find a hot water bottle, the painkillers hadn't kicked in yet, and I masturbated when my period cramped—even with a moon cup in my vagina.

In my own way, with or without sex toy, circle, tap, rub, touch, press, feel, no shame, no unease, no censorship , just me and myself, real pain and pleasure side by side.

At orgasm, the thoughts in my head came to an abrupt halt, and the arched body slowly loosened and melted. I fell asleep.

In the dream, menstrual blood flowed from her vagina, along the inner thighs, calves, and ankles; I squatted down and dipped my fingers in it and smelled it. There was no rust smell in my imagination, but it felt wet and slippery, as if " I have something to say." I ran towards the taboo , wiped the rose color from his mouth, and in an instant, like asexual reproduction, it quickly spread and occupied every gap.

"Shh! It's your turn to be a ghost."

I watched him fall slowly, a bright flower blooming in his mouth.