Literary Translation and Bad Translation: Taking Haruki Murakami’s Translation as an Example

In today's era, even readers who are not so concerned about translation basically know that the reason why many bad translations are bad is that the translators often try to surpass the original work and the original author in an attempt to show readers that their writing is better.

But it is difficult for ordinary readers to clearly see or tell that such bad translators are actually poorly educated and have poor skills. Such translators often know or have never been aware of their own poor knowledge and skills, so they pretend to have or think they have the ability even though they clearly do not have it.

Unfortunately, there are enough bad translations like this to be confusing.

Over the years, I have been wanting to demonstrate that it is not a problem if you don't know the goods, but a problem if you compare the goods. I have given a simple enough example to clearly show readers who do not understand foreign languages ​​or have a low level of foreign language how despicable, ridiculous, deceptive, and how much it ruins the original work. However, such an example is not easy to find, because such an example must meet at least three conditions:

1. It should be long enough to show the systematic nature of the problem rather than its accidental nature, but not too long;
2. It should be interesting enough but simple enough not to put too great a test on the reader’s patience;
3. It must be famous enough to make enough readers curious and want to find out what’s going on.

Now, I have finally found such an example to share with you.

The example I want to give is the Japanese original text and two Chinese translations of a passage from Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood", one of which is a translation that tries to be as close to the original as possible, and the other is Lin Shaohua's translation.

The reason why I chose Haruki Murakami and a passage from Norwegian Wood as an example is that Murakami and his Norwegian Wood are famous enough, and that passage has also attracted widespread attention from readers for its obvious literary qualities. Readers who understand Japanese or who have read a translation that is as close to the original as possible will clearly see or feel the literary qualities of that passage, and can clearly see and feel how bad and inferior a translation is.

It should be stated that although such translation criticism is a discussion of translation, it is actually also a skill of reading the text carefully. For literary reading and literary writing, this skill is a very important and extremely important basic skill - good readers and good writers must be people who seriously pursue the details of the text, and by comparing poor translations to understand the original text and the beauty of good translations, we can obtain effective learning of "it is not a problem not to know the goods, but to compare the goods".

In short, literary reading and writing must pay attention to textual details, otherwise it will be just confusion and nonsense, nothing else.

In China, most of Haruki Murakami's works are translated by Lin Shaohua, so it is important to use Lin Shaohua's translation as a prop to demonstrate and illustrate the problem. I believe that the examples I have given here can fully and undisputedly show how the most common bad translation is bad. By the way, Lin's translation is just a typical example of translation that is a transplant, a substitution, and a inferior translation. In China today, such translation is a major school and a cultural landscape.

My specific presentation method is to first list a passage from the original Japanese text of Norwegian Wood (ノルウェイの森), then list a translation that is as close to the original as possible, and then briefly explain the characteristics of the original text and the translation. Then, list Lin Shaohua's translation and point out the problems of Lin's translation in the simplest way.

My presentation should be easy to understand and entertaining, and even people who don’t understand Japanese or translation should find it interesting enough.

Friends who don't know Japanese can skip the original Japanese text and just use the translation I provide as close to the original text as a reference. Don't worry too much about any major problems with the translation I provide. I believe that many readers know Japanese, and if the translation I provide is not close enough to the original text, or loses or distorts the original meaning, readers will point it out.

Original excerpt from "Norwegian Wood" (Norwegian Wood) by Haruki Murakami :

 Eighteen years of という歳月が have passed and gone, and the ってしまったNow is でも, and the Servant is the prairie scenery and the scenery is をはっきりと思い出すことができる.日かつづいたやわらかな雨に夏のあいだのほこりをすっかりwashい流された山丝は深くfreshやかな青みをたたえ, October wind はすすきの穂をあちこちで揺らせ, slender cloud がfrozen りつくような青いzenith にぴたりとはりついていた. The sky is high, the sky is clear, and the sight is the same. The wind is in the grassland, and the girl is in the woods. The sound of the leaf is the sound of the leaf, the sound of the sound is standing, and the sound of the dog is heard.まるでfarewell to the entrance to the world and the sound of the sound.その他にはどんな物音もなかった.どんな物音も我々のEARには成かなかった. Who is the only one who violates the rules?まっ红な鸟が二野草の中から何かに鈥えたようにとびあがって雑木林のsquareに飞んでいくのを见かけただけだった.歩きながらNaoko はPUにWelldoの语をしてくれた.

A translation that is as close to the original as possible:

 Eighteen years later, I can still clearly recall the scenery of the grassland. The gentle rain fell for several days in a row, completely washing away the summer dust. The mountains were a bright blue, and the October wind blew the spikes of silver grass back and forth. Slender clouds were attached to the blue sky that seemed frozen. The sky was high and far away, and it hurt my eyes to stare at it. The wind swept across the grassland, gently brushed her hair, and then passed through the mixed woods. The leaves on the treetops made a rustling sound, and dogs barked in the distance, faintly and hazily, sounding like the entrance to another world. There was no other sound. We couldn't hear any sound, and no one passed by. I saw two birds with red feathers flying up from the grassland as if they were a little timid, and flew towards the mixed woods. As we walked, Naoko told me about the well.

A brief explanation of the original text and the translation that is close to the original text:

Norwegian Forest (ノルウェイの森) is a relatively early work of Haruki Murakami. At that time, Haruki Murakami's characteristics as a literary youth were still quite obvious, and he was very aware of his writing style and style. In other words, he was very concerned about his writing style and style, and he showed off a lot because of it. The above paragraph is like this.

But Murakami Haruki is Murakami Haruki after all, and his display is very elaborate, and his writing is quite similar to the landscape descriptions in Sei Shonagon's The Pillow Book and Thoreau's Walden. The characteristics of such landscape descriptions are that they are like sketches, striving for clarity, simplicity, fluency, and shunning clichés or flourishes, and pursuing the meticulous presentation and expression of what one sees, hears, thinks, and feels.

Readers who know Japanese can see that Murakami Haruki writes neatly, with simple language, simple words, simple sentences, and it is so simple that it cannot be simpler (readers may wish to imagine what other simpler expressions can present the scenery and people presented by Murakami Haruki). However, this simplicity is a simple and easy-to-understand simplicity, which makes readers sigh and marvel at the simple words written in this way, which are full of pleasing details.

Whether reading the original text or the translation that tries to be close to the original text, readers can clearly feel that every seemingly simple sentence and even every word written by Haruki Murakami here is carefully considered and carved. Reading such texts carefully and slowly can help readers expand their horizons and re-examine their environment, their memories of the past, the scenery and people around them, and their own language expressions.

Translation by Lin Shaohua:

Even now, after eighteen years , I can still vividly remember the scenery of that meadow. The warm, drizzling rain washed away the summer dust. The hillsides were covered with green , the silver grass was waving in the October breeze, and the thin clouds were clinging to the frozen blue sky. I looked up, the sky was vast, but my eyes were aching . The breeze brushed the grass, ruffling her hair , and then blew towards the woods. The leaves on the treetops whispered , and the barking of dogs came from far away, faintly, as if coming from the entrance of another world. Apart from that, everything was silent . No sound was heard , and no one passed by. I saw two small birds like fireballs , which seemed to be startled, rising from the grass and flying towards the woods. As Naoko moved her feet, she told me the story of the well. (Boldface added by the author)

Lin Shaohua's translation comments:

If the original text or the translation that sticks closely to the original text gives the reader a feeling of freshness, then Lin's translation gives a feeling of obvious greasiness. Comparing the original text or the translation that sticks closely to the original text, it can be seen that Lin Shaohua obviously continues to overestimate his own abilities and habitually takes over the task of translating to enhance the original text, adding five-spice powder, star anise, star anise, thirteen spices, sesame oil, soy sauce and olive oil to the original text, turning the refreshing and pleasant original text into a hodgepodge of clichés and miscellaneous things.

The original text was a simple "eighteen years", but he obviously felt that it was not enough and insisted on adding "eighteen years of spring and autumn"; the original text was a simple "rain", but he exaggerated it to make it "drizzling rain"; the original text said that "the mountain body was rippling with a bright blue", but he changed it into a weird homemade fake antique that did not match the original text at all [the hillsides were covered with green and emerald green]. (What does "green" mean? What does "emerald green" mean?)

Unlike the wheat ears in the wheat field, the ears of Miscanthus are mostly isolated and high up, and they sway back and forth when there is wind. Lin Shaohua arbitrarily changed the original description of this scenery to describe the endless "winding and undulating" of the mountains, which is a typical example of inappropriate word choice. The "winding" in his so-called "winding thin clouds" is not found in the original text, but is his fabrication.

[Looking up, the sky is vast, but my eyes are aching] is a series of pretentious classical Chinese by the translator, with a sentence transition that is not in the original text, which is very simple and therefore very vivid and fluent: "The sky is high, staring at it, my eyes are almost aching." The original text is a simple "wind", and he exaggerated it to "gentle breeze"; the original text is "her hair", and he exaggerated it to "full of beautiful hair".

The original text says "the leaves rustle", he exaggerated it into "murmurs"; he made up the original text's "there is no other sound. We can't hear any sound" and changed the original colloquialism "besides that, everything is silent. There is no sound in the ear." The original text says "red bird", he changed it into "fire-like bird".

Lin Shaohua's exaggerations are obviously self-righteous , pretending to know what he doesn't know, and pretending to be smart. For example, Lin Shaohua, who obviously knows nothing about literary writing, doesn't know that the original text repeats the word "sound" here not because the author has a poor vocabulary, but because the author deliberately imitates spoken language, and the characteristics of spoken language are simple words and sentences with many repetitions.

In addition, Lin Shaohua, who has translated so many works of Haruki Murakami, is obviously tone-deaf and insensitive to literary language and even ordinary language. He has no idea that the mixed sentences of "gazing into the vast sky, but feeling a dull pain in my eyes" and "otherwise, everything is silent. I hear no sound" are totally incompatible with Haruki Murakami's spoken narrative. Instead, they are very similar to the fake literati satirized on Chinese TV who always say "Zi once said..."

Lin Shaohua's constant exaggeration can be seen as creative translation at best, but it is also a case of smearing dung on the Buddha's head at worst. To put it neutrally, it is just a case of grafting flowers and trees and replacing pillars with beams.

So, is it possible that the flowers, trees, beams and pillars that come from this are better than the original?

Even if the translation is better than the original, the reader should ask a natural question: Why didn't the translator create a work in an open and honest way to compete fairly with Haruki Murakami, but instead used the name of Murakami to create such an impersonation and theft?

This is a serious logical issue as well as a serious ethical issue.

In fact, for readers who are on track in literary reading (i.e. readers with sufficient literary reading experience and taste), the answer to the question of whether Lin Shaohua's ability to express is better than Haruki Murakami is beyond doubt. After reading the original text, reading the translation that tries to be close to the original text, and then reading Lin Shaohua's translation, readers can clearly see that Lin always tries to show that he is smarter than the original author and that his writing is more clever than the original work, without knowing that his self-righteous wisdom and cleverness are actually outright clumsy, inferior, fake, bad, and crude.

Lin Shaohua is like an elementary school student who has just been given a dictionary and an idiom dictionary. He tries desperately and racks his brains to find or create beautiful words and phrases. He has no idea what literary writing is all about and does not know that unreasonable flowery words are vulgar and that qualified writers will try their best to avoid them.

If Haruki Murakami's original text and translations close to the original text are literary texts, then Lin Shaohua's translation is fake and shoddy pseudo-literature. If reading Haruki Murakami's original text and translations close to the original text can make readers with literary taste feel happy, then reading fake and shoddy works like Lin Shaohua's should make readers feel disgusted.

In the past, readers who did not understand Japanese could only do nothing when they encountered such poor and shoddy translations. Now, with Google Translate and other AI translations, such bad translations have become easy to identify - just let Google Translate or other AI translation software translate the original text, and you can see the most obvious characteristics and fatal flaws of such poor and shoddy translations, which are wanton exaggeration, grafting, and passing off inferior works as good ones.

Google Translate or other artificial intelligence translation software still has many shortcomings, but at least so far they will not add fuel to the fire, change things, or pass off inferior products as good ones.

Thank goodness for this. Thank AI. (But AI can also go haywire, which is another topic.)