I don't have kids, but I also have kids

If you ask me if I love children, I can definitely answer, love. Especially after the baby girl was born. But if I was asked if I wanted to have children of my own, I would have given a very positive answer without hesitation: no.

In many Asian countries, women's fertility intentions are quite low. there are many reasons. Among them, most people say that motherhood has many obstacles to women's life development, especially career development. I don't have great ambitions for upward mobility in my career, but I do have great hopes for expanding my life contacts. To expand my life contacts, I need a lot of freedom and plenty of time at my disposal. This is one of the reasons for my lack of interest in getting married and having a family. Because I know very well that living in this structure called family, I am not very happy, it has nothing to do with whether the relationship with my family is harmonious or not, whether the family is warm or not. If I want to be a housewife and be stuck at home every day, I really even have the idea of jumping off a building (although I'm actually afraid of heights, but I can't rule out being brave once).

Speaking of which, it seems to hit a lot of people's evaluation of women who don't want to have children: selfish. But the above is just one of the reasons. I remember seeing a very interesting and philosophical Indian news in 2017. An Indian mother who works as a lawyer has been sued by her son. Sue what? It turned out to be suing his mother for bringing him into this world without his consent. It is unclear how that lawsuit ended, but it challenged what almost everyone took for granted. When almost everyone praises their parents for giving life, many people say that their parents’ kindness is as deep as the ocean, but no one has the ability to answer the most origin question, or avoid it intentionally or unintentionally: Give me life, did you ask me if I want it? ? Therefore, being a parent is a very important responsibility, because parents are responsible for the choices they make, but children are not obliged to be grateful. Even myself, when I was the most confused in my life, would keep asking: Why did I come to this world. I used to want to find a spiritual teacher to do past-life retrospective hypnosis for me, pull me back to the state before I was born, and let me go back to why my soul made the choice to be reincarnated as a human being, or is it just that other souls say it is good to be a human being, so people follow suit come. If so, I will always hate my soul, because I hate people who are not independent thinkers, and who are not thoughtful enough. Just think, when I myself have experienced such pain, how can I bear to bring the children into the world to experience such pain like me?

Yes. The essence of life is pain. Fame, achievement, and all kinds of beautiful relationships between people, even if they are sweet and sweet, are just layers of sugar coating on bitter fruit. No amount of sugar coating can change the bitterness. In addition, the current world has become very bad, wars and disasters are everywhere. Not including those countries that are both dictatorial and belligerent, using all their citizens as tools, and even pushing them into the battlefield as cannon fodder. Is it really love to bring children into this world under these circumstances? I read a report two years ago. The protagonist of the report is a group that has grown stronger in recent years. Others called the group "Destroyer of Humanity." The names are scary but they aren't actually scary. They just decided not to have children, but the reason was out of love for the next generation - why bring children into this world to suffer when the world is so bad? Indeed, my thoughts are very close to these people.

Some people will retort: do not have children, be careful you are old and have nothing to do. It is very ironic. Many people who can say these words and become parents themselves are actually not very worthy of being parents. Because in the beginning, giving birth to the next generation is very instrumental to them, and the next generation they give birth is also a tool in their hearts. When it comes to parental love, do you think too much? Of course, there is nothing worthy or unworthy of being a parent. Nature sets the bar very low. A man and a woman of reproductive age can become parents by maintaining sexual intercourse without contraception. This also explains why so many people who are not eligible to be parents become parents. "Parents who are inseparable in the world" is an age-old lie that can no longer be rubbish.

I don't have children of my own, but that doesn't mean I don't have children. My wish is to use my own resources to support children whose families have been broken up due to the war, or children born to "not parents". When I was in retreat, I always imagined myself holding a Ukrainian child who was trembling in the flames of war. Send the energy of love to him/her through the embrace. Lately I have thought that giving on a spiritual level alone is not enough. So I thought what if I could sponsor a Ukrainian child? Since no way has been found yet, it was decided to make a monthly donation to the Ukrainian Red Cross first. It is also good to support these children indirectly. The Ukrainian war has been removed from the front pages of the media, but I will still pay attention to this land. Because where is my child. No matter if she is a little girl named Galina or a little boy named Fedor Rover, in short, he/she is my child, and I wish him/her to live.