Hi, the vanished victim is back

Hello everyone, my name is Zhao Aoao. It's been a month and a half since I last posted on the official account.

To be precise, it was "disappeared".

The first thing that disappeared was my article. On the morning of September 13, I posted a tweet titled "Return from Peking University, sleepless nights".

Before that, I published on the Internet the sexual harassment of me by Xie Can, a researcher and doctoral supervisor of Peking University's School of Life Sciences, and submitted my real name and ID card information to the Peking University Faculty Professional Ethics and Disciplinary Committee Office to report. On the afternoon of the 12th, I went to Peking University for an interview at the request of the school, and spent more than 3 hours there which made me suffer.

How should I put it, the feeling of the whole process is that the fragile nerves are pressed and rubbed back and forth on the ground, or my bloody wounds are sanded with sandpaper.

When I got home, I couldn't sleep until 4:30 in the morning. I couldn't bear the pain, so I sat up and recorded my experience as a whistleblower. At that time, I, who had not yet recovered, obediently followed the letter of guarantee that Peking University forced me to sign, and did not announce the content of the interview. The school told me about the specific investigation process and results of the Xie Can incident, but only wrote that the school blocked my friend from the beginning. Accompany me to face four teachers and ask us to sign a non-disclosure pledge.

In short, I only wrote the first half an hour of secondary injury and mental torture for 3 and a half hours.

That article came out around 7am. Soon, many comments and messages poured into the background. What surprised me a bit is that this time, unlike the previous time when I calmly and restrained with evidence and told the facts, there were fewer people who came to insult and question me, and more people expressed their support and encouragement for me.

Perhaps in the eyes of some of the public, there is a sense of exhaustion between the lines, finally "like" a weak victim.

At noon that day, someone told me that Peking University was "busy with this matter." I don't know what this "processing" refers to.

In my good wishes and the logic of normal people, what Peking University should deal with is the school's own handling of teachers' sexual harassment. I've already done an assessment for them myself, and I've found out that they have a horrendous gap in their professionalism and ethics, and every inch of the gap is worth their eagerness to address.

By about 3:00 pm, the number of readings had reached nearly 40,000. My friend suddenly told me that the article was gone.

Turns out they were busy dealing with this.

After the article on the official account was deleted, I saw from friends that well-meaning netizens spontaneously took a long picture and posted it on Weibo, and when the number of retweets reached more than 10,000, it disappeared.

Peking University students are naturally the most concerned about the Xie Can incident, which is related to their personal safety. Before the school interviewed me, a female Peking University girl who had been victimized many times also reported the sexual harassment of her tutor Xie Can to the school. The school teacher told me that the school will investigate the student's report, but "it will take time." In contrast, the girl was kicked out of the laboratory's WeChat group by Xie Can almost in seconds.

Some students have been moving my official account to Weiming BBS of Peking University. After I wrote about the interview at Peking University on the 13th, someone from Weiming BBS also opened a related new thread. Since some of my colleagues and interns are from Peking University, they will send me the link after seeing it. As a visitor, I can see the discussion below (sometimes it's really funny, I'll talk about it later), but I can't leave a message.

So, on the evening of the 13th, I happened to witness the process of that new post disappearing. First, the content posted by the landlord and some commenters was deleted, and then when everyone found out and exclaimed, the entire post disappeared.

To tell the truth, if P University can use even one-twentieth of the energy and efficiency to protect its own interests by maintaining stability and repression to deal with sexual harassment on campus, it is estimated that zero campus violations would have been achieved long ago.

So far I have no confidence in this school that deletes posts on the student BBS. Perhaps it is a very cost-effective logic for such a half-academic, half-bureaucratic organization to solve the problem of sexual harassment from the root by solving the whistleblower. Although in today's era, this kind of processing idea is really too old, and it discredits P too much.

On the evening of the 15th, I opened the account "Zhao Ao Ao Ben Ao" on Sina Weibo, trying to retain one more position. Before, I registered the Weibo "Yilu" under the name of a public account, but I was blocked in seconds and could no longer log in.

Later, my partner Lin Hengheng's Weibo account was bombed. On the afternoon of the 13th, she was the one who accompanied me to Peking University under the pressure of work. When she went back in the evening, she posted a Weibo about our experience on Weibo. When she was banned, the number of retweets reached more than 4,000 times.

The day before the National Day, her personal account, which she used for many years, was displayed as "user does not exist". I asked a friend to inquire about it, and it was blocked by wxb, because it was involved in "high school xing intrusion negative".

Yes, for National Day. The victims need to disappear, leaving peace and prosperity. Although the victims exist because of the perpetrators, it is more troublesome to deal with the perpetrators, so it is better to block the victims' numbers and stop their mouths, so that their calls for help will never be heard. Their pain should never be seen.

Because of the National Day, I am honest. I knew that if I wanted this official account for my voice in the cracks to still exist, I would have to stay on my own for a while.

At the same time, I also disappeared from my job. I suffer from depression. It is neither hypocritical nor depressive. It is a serious disease that was officially diagnosed and took away Lin Yihan, Leslie Cheung and others. I have been taking medicines stably every day and have regular follow-up treatment at the Sixth Hospital of Beijing Medical University. The original intention of opening this official account is to do some popular science on diseases.

So many people questioned why I didn't report it immediately when I was harassed by xing in February 2017. One reason was that I had just relapsed from depression and was extremely weak. When I was so frightened and stimulated, all my strength was enough to shrink to protect me. Own. Since June of that year, I was completely unable to work. After difficult treatment, my physical condition became stable in March this year, and I gradually returned to normal work.

This was also the biggest worry my parents had for me when they learned that I was going to publicly report xing harassment. With my condition, placing myself on the cusp of the storm is equivalent to testing back and forth on the verge of self-destruction.

I assured them at the time that I would only do what I could. However, since August, under the influence of cyber violence and various external stimuli, my condition has worsened. Insomnia, stupor and other symptoms were all recovered. In addition, the work was intense during that time, and the doctor once advised me to be hospitalized. I had to go on sick leave again, recuperate for a while, and temporarily cut off from all information.

And today someone sent me a photo, let's see who this is?

It is said that this person is making a report at the academic forum of the Beijing Alumni Association of the Academy of Biological Sciences for the 80th anniversary of his undergraduate school, Hunan Normal University, this weekend. He is still full of momentum and is still proud.

Thank you to Peking University and to every social part that acts as an accomplice. You let potential abusers know that there is no cost to sexually harassing women and female students, so why not do it?

Before my sick leave, I had a lot of thoughts of hitting the pebble with the pebble. I want to publicly report the absurdity of P University in handling sexual harassment, and force them to correct their actions; I want to make an exhibition of all the attacks in the background, so that everyone can see what a girl wants to do when she wants to defend her rights. What a huge obstacle; I want to respond to the questions of the keyboard warriors one by one, not to give up the opportunity to talk to every person with biased thinking, and I don’t want them to continue to hurt more people. But I found that I probably didn't have that energy and stamina.

I will continue to be disappeared, and the process will be like a lingering delay for me.

However, when I finally saved up a little bit of strength, I can make a sound.

I know I don't have much power, but I'm sure my voice will reverberate.

Even if it is just to let those shameless perpetrators and accomplices shiver one more shiver in this coming winter, when the conscience still exists in the midnight dream?