Low Countries｜Mistake 01

ㄅ, meet

I saw this article in Matt City a while ago - " Lin Weiyun talks about the 10-year long-distance promotion of Polish books in Taiwan ". The article reads, "Translation is to build connections and bridges, so that foreign countries and locals can meet. It is not to maintain strangeness or completely localize, but to create a space for the two to meet." This passage is like the reflection on the lake. The moon, which waxes and wanes from time to time, reflects me who communicates with people in a different place in a non-native language (English); whether it is shopping for food at the market, chatting with colleagues at work, or raising my hand in a workshop or forum to publish (serious) Questions and opinions, even “debates” with roommates about nuclear energy, women’s rights, or the pact of life, it always bothers the other person or me whenever unintelligible words hang in the middle of the ongoing conversation, “How do I say this in English?" With a slightly embarrassed and helpless expression, he looked into the opponent's eyes. English is neither the native language of the locals, nor are we professional translators. This inconvenience creates a space for "thinking". At least when I have the strength, I am willing to use more force and softness to let the other party understand me. Therefore, compared with translated literature, although the dialogue space here is created out of necessity and powerlessness, compared with dialogue with Chinese speakers, I always feel that this kind of dialogue gives people the opportunity to finally express their feelings. At the same time, you can also "hear" your own thinking process.

Because my current working environment is biased towards the Labor Work attribute (that is, most of the physical work), it can be observed that most of my colleagues are Asian immigrants, or from Eastern European countries, such as Romania, Poland, Bulgaria, Moldova, etc. At the same time, there are also a few who seek Asylum Seekers, such as Ukraine and China. Although the content of the work is highly repetitive, and in the jungle of the workplace, the annoying but unavoidable social interaction like "Chacha (Xianfengcao)" makes me feel tired. However, the reason why I have to/willing to stay is that apart from reality There are expensive rent and energy bills to pay, and occasional bursts of field conversations with colleagues.

Before sharing the field notes, I am curious, what is your imagination or impression of "Europe"?

When I was a child, I usually imagined "Europe" from an unfamiliar aunt who heard where she bought which brand-name bag with a group of ladies; The audience who have passed "Europe" is the audience; the quotation marks for Europe here are plated with dazzling gold frames.

Until I was 20 years old, when I dropped out of school and went to another place for a working holiday, I met backpackers from Germany, France, Italy, Denmark, etc., and we all worked and lived on farms together, and occasionally went out to play together during vacations. These "European" Friends, most of the time the impression is friendly and respectful; even because of the encounter with some people, the unrevealed me can finally perceive the transition of darkness and sunlight, with confusion and discomfort, from patriarchy and Capitalist ideas have emerged; however, national or regional labels are only auxiliary tools for us to construct cognition after all, and it does not mean that people who have lived in a certain place for a long time have the kind of labels framed by country/region . Ultimately, everyone is a unique individual.

ㄆ, wrong

 verb;
1. Interlaced with each other.
2. To diverge.

A few months ago, I met L at the place where I was working.

L is from Poland, gay, about my age, waiting for a doctor here to diagnose a mental illness, because only then will he be able to get a prescription signed and get the medication he (desperately) needs. (Above, I have used a total of three or four labels to give you a vague idea of the L shape.)

I remember the first couple of snags at work where the two of us quickly talked about each other's traumatic relationships, our views on patriarchy, and our relationship to our family of origin. In such conversations, L often mentions several keywords, such as gaslighting , groomed , manipulated, etc. Some of the English words (such as groomed) I had to ask L to explain to me "in other words" before I could connect the context; however, even though it was the first time I heard it, after I understood the semantics, my past with L began to intertwine , overlapping; the common language (referring to English and traumatic experience here), for us who belong to the same foreign land, we have opened up a small bridge - leading to his, and my island, where we can choose to be naked Underneath the small bridge, there is an endless stream of emotions. We are practicing to keep a safe distance from each other when the stream surges.

A similar safe dialogue environment also took place at the campfire gathering held by the German girl M.

M is attending design school here, and I met her at a conversation workshop on "Reproduction"; and M is hosting the campfire because she is in the early stages of The theme exploration of the graduation work, the general direction is related to Exhaustion , because last year she just experienced a mental fatigue (burn out).

At a recent get-together, she asked everyone, "Besides watching Netflix and scrolling on the phone, how do you get real rest now?". With the convenience of technology and the diversification of choices, are we finally getting closer to the true meaning of happiness with a mobile phone in hand? The six or seven partners at the scene came from different backgrounds, and most of them chose to take a little risk, peel off the skin of socialization, return to the original state of children or animals, and sincerely tell "this is my wound" or "this is my wound". What I see is the wound of the world".

One of them, L, who used to work in the technology industry, proposed to the local municipal government and leased the land after retirement, and opened the Permaculture Gardener/Designer identity, said: "Compared with everyone on the scene, I feel very lucky, and I don't have mental health. Question, as much as I've been disappointed at not being able to change the world, I think negativity, or bottoming out, might also be seen as a moment of change, a time to pause and rest a (non-stop running) life. "The Bulgarian girl standing diagonally opposite the L is about to return to her hometown to start a farm life with her partner. She echoed: "Maybe just like nature has spring, summer, autumn and winter. When you are in a bad state of mind, it is like plants in winter. It’s like dormancy, but we know spring will always come.”

And spring has come with colleagues wearing masks.

Several colleagues said that after settling here for a few years, the body gradually became a clock for winter and spring communication, and the pollen in the air was responsible for winding the clockwork, which not only penetrated into the nostrils, making them sneeze uncontrollably, or even (According to their description) I can't help but want to dig out the eyeballs and pick them to stop the itching.

As the seasons change, the huge body of the night gradually melts away, like a slow-moving 霙, which just descends from the sky and loses itself as soon as it touches the warm surface; and the relationship between me and L is also changing seasons, from two I started writing this post at the end of the month, and as of this moment, we haven't been in touch with each other for weeks. Is the trauma that is too similar to each other the reason to propose a temporary farewell? Or is it true, as he said, that we don't have anything to talk about other than trauma?

The two lines, from the moment they intersect, are destined to have a staggered day.

Now, I can only stand on the shore after the flood, wipe away the tears from the corners of my eyes, look at the remnants of the small bridge that was once able to pass safely, pray and bless his spring, and mine, then turn around and face the new direction.