One of the most unforgettable childhood events: a common meal - parents quarrel.

When I was young, I thought my parents were very good at talking, because they were always chatting and pointing.

What are you arguing about? Anything you can think of about husbands and wives, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is naturally performed at the table of each meal, just like an eight o'clock series, and sometimes even the advertising time is omitted. And there will always be the next episode broadcast tomorrow. When will the end of the episode, the director's father/director's mother? (I used to talk to myself when I was little.)

Being able to speak does not mean being able to communicate and empathize.

Getting along with people can be difficult sometimes. Have you noticed why the closer you are to the other person, the easier it is to hurt the other person? Why always leave the worst temper to the closest relatives? Why can mom and dad always fight over sesame? Why do relatives always see themselves as more important, and they rarely review themselves, so they gradually lose respect and empathy.

Being strong in a quarrel doesn't mean you won the game, and letting go of your body doesn't mean you lose or take advantage of the other party. It depends on the timing when you say something, and sometimes it hurts your feelings if you say too much. So can you ask your parents to add empathy and communication to this game, accept your own imperfections and accommodate and accept each other in a timely manner?

The meaning of the same reason is to stand on the other side's point of view and understand the other person's inner feelings. Regardless of feelings, love and family, if you can empathize first and then be reasonable, it will definitely increase a good atmosphere for mutual communication.

Emotional Matter - The author Chen Yongyi, an international psychologist, said in the book:

Empathy and consent do not necessarily coexist at the same time, so after empathy, if you disagree with the other party's conclusion, you can try it out

• Convince the other person to change.
• Change yourself to match the other.
• After respecting the other person's choice, continue walking.
• After respecting each other's choice, they parted ways.

Steven Stosny once said: On the surface we are angry with our dear ones, but in fact you are angry with the "defective self" reflected in their behavior . As long as the faults are others, the pressure of "I may not be so good" will be lessened.

Sometimes I feel that although the dog can't speak, at least it will focus on looking at the owner's eyes, listen carefully to the owner's words, and wag its tail to accompany it. Is this sincere and open heart the so-called empathy?

Recommend two episodes of Healing Inner Movies - The Power of Empathy.

I don't know what to say, but I'm glad you shared your story with me.

"Responding" rarely makes things better, what really makes things better is "connection" (true listening and inner connection).