death of fish

The fish is still dead.

In the evening, I went to push the old man downstairs, and when I entered the house, I saw that it had turned its stomach and sank to the bottom of the tank. Mom is not at home, and the old man is holding a walker to move around, looking at me and grinning. I asked him if you saw the fish die. He still laughed, saying he didn't know if he was dead, and he didn't look at the fish tank when he spoke.

I found a food container I had taken out the day before, and scooped out the fish using the usual large water change cup. It didn't jump startled like it did when it was alive, fled violently, and obediently followed the water into the measuring cup. I put the mouth of the cup against the tank wall, dumped the water, and poured it into the food box. The fish is too big, the body is lying in, and the tail fin is still raised outside. When I bought it back then, it was about three or four centimeters long, and in six years, it grew to thirty centimeters.

My mother is very willing to feed. Feeding fish is the same as feeding people. It is necessary to eat well. I used to teach her a lesson about this, but then I gave up. She doesn't believe that fish only have seven seconds of memory, nor does she believe that fish will die, and she does not believe that food and excrement will pollute the water.

"It must be eaten when I'm hungry. Every time I approach the fish tank, it will pounce on me, thinking I'm here to feed."

The fish seemed to be doing fine, but they were not suffocated to death, nor were they suffocated by water pollution. But mother Xu listened to the second half and saw that the fish was not very active, so she resorted to the magic weapon: change the water. I was worried that she twisted the water bucket to her waist and said you don't want to change it, and I'll change it when the water is picked up. She didn't listen, so I later, like many things, resigned myself to fate.

As the goldfish grew up visibly to the naked eye, my mother was very proud.

"Look, if I hadn't fed it well, could it have grown that big?"

"It's not a meat pig. What's the use of being so big? The bigger it is, the more like a prison the fish tank is to it, the more restricted its activities, the more unhappy it may be."

Having said that, every time I go over and watch it swim in the fish tank with its yarn-like tail fins stretched, I still feel happy. When it was lying still at the bottom of the tank, the yarn was tucked behind it.

It turned out that there was a pair. One died when he was three years old, and it had grown to about ten centimeters before his death. I also saw roe, that was the first time I saw goldfish roe. I have raised fish many times before, and the longest one has lived for two or three years. But I've never seen roe before, white, in bunches, attached to a filter. I even saw small fry in a trance, very slender, the moment I saw it, it was swallowed by my own father or mother. After the fish died, my mother was also sad for several days. Every time this line seemed a little inactive, she worried.

Fortunately, this fish has lived for six years. Although it must have had some discomfort and suffered some minor illnesses, it has survived. Two weeks ago, my mother told me that the fish was wilting again, and let me see if the filter was clogged. The filter is working normally. I changed the filter sponge and told her not to force-feed the fish if it doesn't eat it. The more you feed it, the more uncomfortable it may be, and I will check again in a few days. My mother probably doubted my words as always. Fish is iron food or steel. If you don't eat a meal, you will be so hungry, how can you not feed it? In the next few days, she said she seemed to be feeling better. Although she was still inactive, she started to eat. The food I fed floated for a while and disappeared. I didn't say it could have just melted in the water and was sucked out by the filter. But I couldn't do anything about the fish disease, and I couldn't change her panic memory of starvation. I just didn't speak, so I continued to watch the fish food floating on the water.

Most of the time, the fish lay quietly at the bottom of the tank. Occasionally, after I watched it for a long time, it suddenly raised its head and rushed to the surface. Thinking about it now, I don't know if it was experiencing pain at the time. Before Li Ping'er died, he lingered on the sickbed for a long time. Before Ximen Qing's death, he was also lazy to move, and it was difficult to swallow. Their deaths were far too silent compared to their lives. Storytellers just use their mouths to speak, but they don't let them tell their pain and sorrow, let alone fish.

I hesitated whether to find a place to bury the fish, after all, my mother worried so much about it. But then it was thrown into the trash can downstairs. I pushed the wheelchair and handed the bag containing the fish carcass to the old man. Go to the trash can, I say you throw it away. He looked at the bag resting on the armrest of the wheelchair, and at the trash can that was higher than his shoulders, and said he couldn't throw it away. I took the bag and threw it in. Next to the other trash can, an old grandmother was rummaging for "Baby". I'm wondering if that food box can be sold for money.

Put the old man in the children's playground, and when I go out, I meet my mother. She is sitting on the flower terrace at the door and resting. I grabbed her hand, sweating profusely, and said I walked around the community. I let her sit, bought half a watermelon from 100 meters away, asked the melon owner to cut it for me, took it back and sat next to my mother. This year's watermelon is very expensive. It's already July, and it costs 4 yuan and 51 catties.

Eat the melon and tell her that the fish is dead. She was taken aback, but less than I thought, maybe she was prepared. I said I would go buy two more tomorrow, and you would raise it again. She hesitated and said yes.

So we talk about something else. My cousin's child graduated from kindergarten yesterday, and tomorrow his uncle will take him back to his mother's side and stay there for elementary school. The child is also six years old and has been brought up by his aunt and uncle. I asked her if she wanted to go back? Mom said that when the baby asked, she didn't say a word, but she was happy when she talked about leaving. Where is my uncle? Then what do you think, can your uncle be happy? He was so anxious that he had never been happy in his life for the sake of Longlong. Speaking of my nephew in Shanghai, he has not been to work for nearly half a year due to epidemic prevention. I said that I sent him a red envelope today, and my mother asked how much, one thousand. I said that I don't know how many people like this exist in Shanghai. They have no income for half a year, and their nephews can still rely on their parents. Those who don't have parents have to leave to find another way of life.

While we were chatting, a police car came and stopped at the gate of the community with its lights flashing. Two policemen came down, and two people came up to meet them. They stood not far away and chatted, not in a hurry to enter the door. The police wear yellow-green vests, shouldn't they be bulletproof? I wonder.

Later, when I went home, I asked my mother to go upstairs first, and I pushed the old man. When she entered the door, she saw red eyes. She said that when she entered the house, she saw that the fish tank was empty, and she felt uncomfortable. I said that if you are so sad, don't raise it any more, buy it back, and you may die. Fish are fragile little things, and it's hard to guarantee a few days of life. She said that it's fine, and if you keep it up, you have to follow the heart.

But before I left, I chased after them again and said I should buy two, otherwise the fish tank would be empty and it would be uncomfortable to look at. I said yes, we will go shopping together tomorrow.