Day 7—Psychoanalysis

My biggest weakness is wanting to be recognized by others. Whenever someone blows my mind or doesn't understand something I'm interested in, I get sad and feel like I've been splashed with cold water. I have some extreme tendencies, on the one hand, I want to go beyond the development of my unique self, on the other hand, I want to win the admiration of others. I want to learn to transcend these tendencies by working with shadows.

Recently I was watching a video about Jungian psychoanalysis by Jordan Peterson, a controversial scholar. In exceptional circumstances, anger can overcome fear and help you achieve what you need. If you do not express your needs and defend yourself with the energy of anger, then you will be overwhelmed by fear, and the anger in your heart will turn into resentment in your heart.

People who are usually pushed around by external people and things tend to lose themselves and don't know how to fully express their needs and negotiate with others. In counseling, such cases need to be trained to stand up for their own claims.

This passage particularly touched me. He seemed to describe my "resentful" relationship with China. I always see myself as a victim of Chinese values and the centralized system, so I am also full of doubts and criticisms of the Chinese environment, but in fact, "China" only symbolizes the "insurmountable and powerful force" and "collective" in my heart. form of bondage". And the inner impulse to revolutionize and overthrow the regime comes from a long-suppressed psychological part. In the long run, this kind of depression has made me feel depressed, and I don’t know how to hold my own position, and it’s easy to follow other people’s expectations of me.

Especially in China, it is difficult for me to express myself, so I choose to avoid conflicts between people, afraid of being rejected or challenged by others, trying to make the outside world accept me. But over time, I found that the repression in my heart became the resentment that remained in my heart.

I hope to better understand these issues through Jungian psychoanalysis and astrology.