We Shouldn't Be Werther's "The Troubles of Young Werther"

The book "The Sorrows of Young Werther" tells the story of a protagonist named Werther who falls in love with Charlotte, a girl who is already married, and eventually commits suicide without getting her love. For the detailed story details, please read it yourself, this is a good book that is definitely worth reading. Everyone has been obsessed with someone at one time, and Werther's love is something that all readers can relate to, so this book was a hit at the time, and it's still very influential today. What I want to discuss is that I find that there are more and more "Witters" in the society, that is, they have misunderstandings about relationships. They will actively pursue love, but in an incorrect way, so they can't get good results. , resulting in distorted values for feelings and the opposite sex, as is the case with a seasick society on Facebook. Internet societies are not just for entertainment purposes, they are everyone’s sub-life circles. Maybe ordinary readers don’t take the negative energy atmosphere in seasickness societies seriously, but it does slowly change the values of users and affect them. I want to try to clarify the problems of the "Witters" on the Internet and how their problems affect the relationship by deciphering the book Young Werther.

1. The reason why Werther could not get Charlotte

Of course, Charlotte had already been engaged, which was destined to be an unsuccessful pursuit, but if Werther had a fair competition with his rival, Albert, what chance would Werther have? Sorry, but I still think Werther is doomed. I'm not targeting Werther, don't accuse me, in fact they both have their own merits. I admire Werther's interest in art and literature, and his good at painting. He is rich in emotion and has a very unique way of understanding all things. I also respect Albert's friendly, calm and stable personality. His career is more successful than Werther's. , is a very reliable man. And we have no way of knowing the looks of the two of them, but from their interactions with other people, I think they are all pleasing grades, so based on the above evaluation, both of them are excellent in personal characteristics, and they are 55%. , Indistinguishable, even in terms of Charlotte's love of literature, Werther has more in common with her, and is more popular.

Regrettably, I think Werther's weakness lies in his own mentality. He falls into a state of "seasickness" too quickly, and excessive pursuit of Charlotte is the biggest mistake he made when he is seasick. Yes, the pursuit will be excessive, because the key to the entire pursuit process should be to continuously improve the favorability, but it is worth noting that the favorability will not increase the more you pay. In the book, Werther believes that Charlotte will be happier with him than with Albert, because he is often out on business and Werther is by her side almost every day. This is a misunderstanding of our own pursuit. We should not only see how much we have paid in this pursuit relationship, because both parties may not have the same feelings about these efforts. Many times it is just a one-man show in our own small theater, and Did not find the other party's actual thoughts. At the beginning of the story, Charlotte welcomes Werther's visit every day, and family members are happy to see him. Later, she begins to ask Werther to stop coming to meet him at home. It can be seen that such excessive pursuit has caused pressure on the woman and made Werther's heart state. Getting more and more unhealthy, he still didn't know how to change, and even broke the agreement with Charlotte. This phenomenon still exists in today's life. Some people will continue to send messages to the people they like. At first, the other party may find this kind of chat very interesting, especially when you have a lot of topics to talk about, but if it evolves into a day without a topic If you chat awkwardly, then replying to the message will be very tiring for the other party, so casually talk perfunctorily. If you don’t know how to read the atmosphere at this time, send more unnecessary messages to the other party, hoping to get the original The warm response, I'm afraid I will only disappoint myself in the end.

2. Those who put themselves in a dangerous state of mind

"Reinforce yourself! Can't your spirit, knowledge, and talent bring you joy? Be a man! Stop clinging to someone, she can give you nothing but regret for you," Charlotte said.

Charlotte's words reveal the difference in the psychological qualities of Werther and Albert. Albert loved Charlotte as much as Werther, but at the same time he was serious about his work and did not delay his personal career because of love. His happiness comes from many aspects, but Werther does not. The only thing he cares about is Charlotte. He hollows out his love for her, and wastes sketches. This is not a special affection that will move people. No one in the world will be happy because of receiving this kind of love that is almost suffocating, because it is not complete love, but by having the other person to fill the gap in their life. The mentality of "without her, I have nothing" is not romantic at all in real life. Will we appreciate a person, do we appreciate the way he is now, or how can he satisfy me in the future? Werther's thoughts remained on how to make Charlotte happy, how to give her the warmth she deserved through daily company, but she forgot that Charlotte admired the literature and art with rich literary connotations, excellent dancing skills and empathy. youth.

I have observed on the Internet that people with pessimistic ideas about love often review how they give in a relationship, and how these efforts are let down by the other party. This is the same mistake as Werther, but in fact, to attract the opposite sex, or It is to manage a relationship. The success of these things is not entirely based on "what to do for the other party", but to a greater extent is affected by "what to do for yourself". Can you manage your own life well? When you are in love, keep your life goals in mind. Such a state of mind shows high autonomy, self-motivation, and maturity; if, like Werther, Charlotte regards Charlotte as the center of life, she seems insignificant in front of her, but this is a sign of a lack of self-confidence and lack of self-confidence. performance of autonomy. It can almost be said that self-confidence is an indispensable factor for a healthy love relationship, and it is also the strength that a pair of lovers should cultivate each other.

3. I only love Charlotte alone

Not so.

Many people will believe in soulmates, hoping to find a perfect partner who fully understands them, so they don’t step into love without permission. I respect the ideas of these people. In fact, I also believe in the existence of soulmates, but I can really find such a relationship. People, the chances are too small, and I also think that insisting on the perfect partner will lose a lot of opportunities for yourself to grow. In fact, among the couples I know, more of them become each other's perfect partners only through their running-in and communication with each other. Compared with the maddening waiting, I agree with the concept of love more than cultivating the ability to love and be loved. This does not mean that you will like someone you don't like in the future, but to grasp the object of your life. Werther thinks he can't fall in love with anyone other than Charlotte, but still has a brief relationship with another girl while he's away at work. We will meet the next person constantly, and it is very unnecessary to insist on an object that we can't get as the only thing in life.

I was a Werther for a while too, when I thought I met the right girl, I was crazy about it, I wanted her attention and tried my best to please her, any attention to me was like a gift, I think I I found love... At least that's what I thought at the time. When everything came to an end, I looked back and realized that I was just looking for someone to rely on in a new environment. I didn't really love her. I I just need to love something. I'm empty and relying on others. Such an unhealthy mentality of course leads to an unsatisfactory relationship, but that story is a good lesson. The girl I like now, we did not fall in love at first sight, but we dated after a long time together. Compared with the obsession of the previous girl, I like the current her in a more rational way. I know that she is serious about herself She always shows a strong side in her work, she is very talented in makeup, she is also very smart, and she has her own views on things. I am no longer "falling in live for no reason", but I know her strengths and like them from the bottom of my heart, and hope that her strengths can bring me positive growth. This is not the kind of utilitarian love, I still have a little infatuation, I will think of her for no reason, I will want to take her to a delicious restaurant, and I will share with her when I think of interesting things. What happened, the difference was that this girl was no longer my salvation, she was my partner. I admit that there are actually many differences between the two of us. It is not the perfect soulmate that people who yearn for soulmate say, but when you can completely accept a person, whether it is good or bad, you can make eighty Points become full marks.

I spent a lot of time reviewing my mentality about the emotional world, and I realized that many people on the Internet have faced similar situations, and when I read "The Troubles of Young Werther" again, I found that many secrets are hidden in this book Here, I find out my past problems, and slowly clarify what an unhealthy love looks like, and the conclusion is: we should not be Werther.