Lack of security between partners?

Hello everyone, I am Souller. My channel mainly introduces psychology-related videos. For those who are interested, remember to subscribe, like and share, so as not to miss my updates!

What I want to talk about today is the sense of security. The sense of security is a need, which can be emotional or material. It is also one of the conditions for choosing a mate for many people today.

Do you often hear your significant other say that you are insecure?

How to change this situation?

Remember to watch to the end if you want to know more!

In fact, no one in the world has a complete sense of security. From the moment we were born, we began to pursue a sense of security. Originally all the needs of survival can be supplied in the mother's stomach. After you leave the mother's womb, the world changes. You need to rely on yourself to produce and ask for everything you need for life.

When I was still in my infancy, I was hungry, defecate, feel pain, etc. We rely on crying to get our parents' attention and solve our difficulties. This is the sense of security our parents give us.

And in the school stage, before the next day's exam, read all the subjects to be tested; before class, finish all the homework to be handed in, which will also create a sense of security.

After graduating, I searched for a job for a long time, and suddenly received a job offer; when the end of the month passed, and when I received my salary at the beginning of next month; when I encountered a difficult problem at work, someone came forward to help you solve it. These will also give us a sense of security. .

After the above examples, you will find out. The premise of a sense of security is that when you have needs or even difficulties, after these problems are resolved, the so-called sense of security will appear.

And your partner feels that the sense of security is not enough, which means that he has high expectations of you and thinks too much about everything, so he knows that the current you cannot meet his needs.

But is it really your problem?

In fact, it is not. The real problem is people who lack a sense of security. They force their own needs into the lives of others. In the emotional world, both parties are bound to pay each other. Most people who quarrel in the emotional world on the grounds of insecurity are not confident in themselves. A sense of security is not a reason to let the other party meet all your needs. It is based on "the view of yourself". You must agree that you are irreplaceable in the other party's world; you must feel that you are worthy of being loved. How can you feel the sense of security that the other party gives you when you don't have any confidence?

This will only keep binding the other half tighter and tighter, not only in life, but also psychologically. As long as his every move is different from what you think, he will start to make up his own brain and fantasize: "Does he not love me anymore?" "Is he really the right person?"

You will find that the sense of security is losing faster and faster.

The other party did not commit any unlawful behavior or thoughts. What can really hurt your feelings is never the so-called sense of security, but your view of the matter itself. Don't try to instill everything about yourself in your partner's life. Two people who love each other also need a little space. A good emotional world has always been "you retreat and I advance; you advance and I retreat", mutual tolerance and growth.

Are you or your partner seriously insecure?

If you want to improve this situation, the most important thing is to improve your "self-confidence and self-identity". Even if you have a little narcissism, so what? When your other half knows how to love yourself, then he can feel your love for him more clearly. He is confident that everything you do is for his own good. Because he identifies with himself and knows that he is worthy of being loved.

Don't ask the other party to pay for you, and don't put unreasonable expectations on the other party. The real giving comes from instinct.

For example, when it rains, don't ask your partner to help you bring an umbrella, but tell your partner that it's raining heavily, and it's too bad that I didn't bring an umbrella.

Another example is asking your partner to clean up the house, and accidentally talking to you, is the floor in your house a bit dirty recently, and then he took the initiative to clean it up, which one is more tempting to you?

All contributions should not be based on requests, but that the other party knows that you are in difficulty and will take the initiative to help you.

Most of the situation in reality is that I bear the difficulties silently, and finally complain about the other half and ask him what to do. The more the person being asked pays, the more the other party asks for more. When the load is on, the sense of uneasiness becomes heavier and heavier, and in the end the whole relationship becomes unbalanced, and we can only break up unhappy.

The video of this issue is shared here. I am Souller, your spiritual mentor! Wishing you all the best of luck not only physically, but also mentally. Friends who like my channel, remember to subscribe and press like and share. Don't miss my follow-up updates. If you want to know or ask questions, you can also leave a message in the message area below, and then make other videos to share with you!