I remember the very first day.

"It's a malignant tumor." I often thought about dying like this, but at that moment I was so afraid of death.

It wasn't my death, it was the death of a loved one. The hilarious atmosphere with my friends just cooled down for a moment. I don't know what I can say. Maybe I need to quiet myself.

"Check for spread first."

"Hmm." I quickly hung up the phone.

Death is not the result, I tell myself. But the already cold hands became even colder, and some lost consciousness.

I got off the bus and arrived at the station. There was still some time before the ride. I bought ice. "It's cold outside, it's terribly cold," my friend reminded me.

"It's okay, I want to eat." It's okay to be cold, my head is so hot that I can't breathe.

Later, the two of us, who were waiting for the bus, talked intermittently until we got on the bus, and the seats that were not connected separated us.

Later, when we got home, the family was planning to go out to buy a late-night snack, "I'm back, I'm going to buy a late-night snack, do you want to eat some too? I want to buy some soy milk and egg cake." He counted the change in his hand.

After confirming with him which store it was, I said, "Is there any warm soy milk? The hot soy milk last time was too hot." I just wanted to be different from usual.

"I remember there should be, but it was cold when I bought it." He first showed a puzzled expression.

"It doesn't matter, it needs to be warm." Because the store is not far away, and every time he goes out, he will bring his own thermal bag.

Or maybe he thought it was strange that I had never made such a request, I had been drinking hot soy milk before.

But today, I want to finish the soy milk in one go, the hot soy milk is too hot, so I can only drink it one by one.

When he came back, I had already packed my luggage, after all, there were not many things. I took out the warm soy milk from the thermos bag. I thought I could drink it all in one go, but it overflowed from the corner of my mouth. I drank it too fast.

Annoying, not a single thing is pleasing, although I have cleared some obstacles.

"Hey, what are you doing? It's dripping on your clothes!" He stopped the hand that put the omelet in his mouth and exclaimed.

I don't even know what I'm doing.

I quickly fled the scene and said I was going to take a shower and go to bed. I didn't cry in the bathroom. I remembered a lot of things from the past, and it wasn't very pleasant.

That night, I didn't have any insomnia either. After tossing and turning for more than an hour, I fell asleep after being busy all day. Then I woke up at the same time as usual the next day, and then I let myself fall asleep again. Pretend I have slept and wake up to spring.