[Letter]｜The year I was twenty

Sir:

Have you ever thought that your growth would be accompanied by such pain? It turns out that what adults say about happiness is actually a carefree life, just like those young students, all they have to worry about are grades and love, and everything that happens in their own life circle is the source of their troubles. But I never knew the original... It turns out that growing up is such a painful thing.

I was twenty that year, just past the legal age. It was also in that year that my growing age became something that I didn't want to face. It wasn't that I was worried that this was the beginning of old age, but that all the things that I never had to worry about began to sweep up one by one. come. Some people started to ask me about future plans and prospects; they told me that I should start managing money; I began to read professional vocabulary of financial savings that I had never read before; they informed me about labor and health insurance, and then told me that the amount in the original account was equal to tax related. At that moment, I realized that what I thought growing up was being sensible and obedient, but being sensible and obedient will no longer be synonymous with growing up. That’s how I discovered that growing up is not only about being sensible and obedient, but I also have to be responsible for everything I do. , and everything covers not only behavior, but not taking for granted responsibility like bumping into someone and saying an apology. Instead, you must learn to support yourself and be responsible for every minute of your life.

Perhaps people always have a trace of fear about the unknown, and in the face of the unknown and heavy, there is always a feeling of depression to the point of breathlessness. Those unrealistic fantasies about growing up also shattered at this moment and then disappeared, and without the filters of youth and ignorance, all the bright and colorful futures are so darkened, no longer sweet like candy. Greasy; all that remains is the bitterness of deep pressure and expectation. Actually, I also know that escaping can't solve it, but at least... at least let me have some more time before I don't have to fully face it?

May peace and prosperity

2022｜Zero Wu｜Zero ginseng