Antidepressant Breakup Diary: Day 10 of Suyue Stopping Drugs

[Disclaimer: This article is written based on my own experience, and it is by no means a professional medical opinion. If you have any questions, please put down your phone, turn off your computer, and go to a clinic near your home for help. 】

It started about ten days ago, and I stopped taking the medicine voluntarily.

Before that, I was taking medicine every day for more than two years. I stopped taking the drug ten days ago, and I am still struggling with withdrawal symptoms, but I think I have almost won the battle, so I would like to share the bits and pieces, ups and downs, beauty and sadness of my relationship with Suyue in the past two years... Ah, no, this article is just to tell the story after the breakup, but I can briefly explain the summary of the previous situation.

When I went to the physical and mental department more than two years ago, because I was just a novice, I was the first to take an entry-level SSRI, but sometimes because of immediate needs in the workplace, I also took Alprazolam (An Baining) through channels. . I have since accumulated a wealth of experience about which medicines should be used in different situations in the workplace, but I will talk about that later. After I started taking medicine, my anxiety and depression were considered to be under control. Because the medicine had a significant effect on me, I established the outlook on life of "seeking medical treatment when I'm sick", and started my evangelism career as a materialist missionary.

However, after half a year after I started taking the medicine, I fell into a pretty serious low tide again. After discussing with the doctor, I changed the medicine to Venlafaxine, which I have been taking until recently. Based on the idea of supporting local pharmaceuticals (not), I use the scientific name The medicine "Yuekang" (Easyfor), not the title of Effexor (Effexor). The general meaning that the doctor explained to me at that time was that it seems that serotonin alone may not be able to bear it, so let’s try adding adrenaline (the pharmacological mechanism is detailed, it should be the recovery inhibitor of the above two, and It’s not serotonin and adrenaline itself, that is, SSRI to SNRI, let’s talk about it in a more vernacular way first.) I don’t remember the initial dose, but soon I started to maintain two or one small pills per day (75mg *2 + 37.5mg*1 = 187.5mg), the drug was stopped ten days ago, and it was about twenty months after calculation.

Why did you decide to stop taking the drug? In fact, the trigger was something wrong with the health insurance, and I was lazy, so I didn’t take the medicine for a few days. I want to say that I just stop taking the medicine. The whole thing depends on fate, which is quite in line with my personal decision-making style.

Anyone who has taken Venlafaxine knows that during the period of taking the medicine, most people are unlikely to forget to take the medicine, because its withdrawal reaction is quite serious, and the body will remind you if you forget to take the medicine. Therefore, I have not developed the habit of taking medicine regularly. However, in order to avoid forgetting when I took the medicine last time, causing more and more taking, and memory will be affected when the physical and mental condition is not good, it is recommended that you take the medicine time. fix it.

As soon as I decided to try to stop the drug, I knew that the biggest difficulty would be the withdrawal symptoms. On the Internet, I saw some patients who discussed with the doctor and then gradually reduced the dosage. After the reduction was completely stopped, there were even withdrawal symptoms for more than a month. It is conceivable that I will directly land from 187.5mg to 0, which is really a bit Handsome, I thought in my heart that if I couldn't make it any longer, I would go back to the clinic door to clean up the door, begging the doctor to take me in again regardless of the previous suspicions! Of course, there is also a sliver of hope. If the uncomfortable process of withdrawal can be survived and my emotions will not be affected, then maybe I can also be released from prison on parole in advance (this is a mentality that violates medical common sense. Uncle has practiced, And uncle is a fart, please don't try it rashly at home).

What does Suyue's withdrawal feel like? There may be differences depending on each person's physique, let me talk about my own.

Speaking of which, my withdrawal symptoms are pretty cool, and I should experience them once in my life (twice is a bit much). Physiologically, it is roughly that the whole body will sweat all the time, and the face is very numb, as if the air pressure inside and outside the head is different. It is more interesting in consciousness, similar to the glitch art that has become popular recently, and it is a symptom of the trend.

If you are about the same age as me, you should have seen analog TVs that move up and down horizontal stripes (or horizontal stripes that move left and right) after using it for a long time, and each stripe will undulate in the same place, like Joy Division Like the cover of the first album. This is how I saw the world during withdrawal.

And it's not just the vision, the ambient sound I hear will also follow the rhythm of the screen, back and forth with the high and low volume of a fixed frequency. Let me listen to the hint music for everyone. When I listen to this song for about 30 seconds, I will hear the synthesizer part undergo a volume shock processing. All the sounds I hear in my living environment will be remixed for me to hear through this processing method. .

To sum up, just like Jay Chou is a dick, I am Instagram, and the filter style is more retro, and there is also a multimedia integration function of sound processing. When we first started weaning, it was 72 hours non-stop, this was my life, the sun was setting, the waves were worrying ㄡㄡㄡ. However, together with the physiological response, these visual and auditory filters have gradually decreased over time. For example, in the past two days, not only did the frequency decrease to ten or twenty minutes before there was a burst of electric current, but the intensity also dropped a lot.

The second change during the drug withdrawal period is that I became more sentimental, crying and crying, other than that, my emotions did not tilt too negatively. This is actually very subjective. I'm not sure whether it's the drug withdrawal or the recent selection is really more accurate. "White" written by Han Jiang, the former winner of the International Man Booker Literary Award, is beautiful. "Joker", which was released recently, I have already made an appointment with my friends to go to the second brush. The first time I was too focused on technical details. This time I will go to the second brush The audience may burst into tears. Even watching Heidegger's directional time and interpretation recently, I want to cry, which shows how low the crying point is. But like "Joker" said: "Is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there?"

Speaking of this, I remembered that when I first stopped the drug, I still called a certain psychiatrist I knew well and asked him, besides the pain of withdrawal, would there be other side effects if I quit the drug rashly? "There will be no side effects. If I have to say it, if I don't take antidepressants, I may...depressed." This answer is really great wisdom, just like "the biggest secret of the election", it made me think about it for a while.

Finally, in the past few days, I found that I need much less sleep than when I was taking medicine. I probably returned to the state when I was young and would wake up six or seven hours a day and start to be busy (playing around). This change is really great. Obviously, although it is not a withdrawal symptom, it can be regarded as a side effect of taking the medicine before. Thinking back to the past two years when I took medicine to go to work and go to bed after work, I often slept for nine, ten or even ten hours a day. I forced myself to leave the bed, but I still had no energy all day long, lethargy during the day, and even fell asleep after a nap. two or three hours. Previously, I didn’t need to clock in at work. Thinking about it, I really relied on my face to make a living.

That's about it. After a period of time after the drug is completely stopped, there may be some other experiences that can be shared. I have an appointment with a counselor next week, and I can also talk about my counseling experience at that time.