alone on the road (below)

Another "personal trip" work is "There is always some time on the road" by Mr. Pan Guoling. This book collects the story of Mr. Pan's journey since 2003.

When reading Mr. Pan's chapters, it's not like a tour, but rather a wandering tour -- not a tourist, and visiting every scenic spot and place. According to him, it is a kind of dissociation:

...... Look up the dictionary, in addition to chemically referring to the process of producing ions, a more general explanation is: to exist apart from the attached things . Yes, free control, a key word is attachment. It is sometimes helpful to understand things in terms of their antithesis. If attachment is associated with a set of interrelated concepts such as fixation, security, and grounding, in contrast, detachment is associated with flow, instability, and floating... (p. 47).

This brings up a question: If it is said that the wandering must be in the flow, where is the scope of the wandering wandering? He can cross city boundaries (or national borders), but those who leave the city are not necessarily free. If he is determined to pick up his luggage, never look back, and land somewhere else (leave without wandering). Although travelers cross borders, everything is only temporary, and there is a clear return date and destination. Even the entire “going off” may be completely wrapped in capitalist work ethic and consumption logic (the so-called “recharge”, come back and fight again) , that is, although the body leaves, the value is still attached to the huge system (floating without leaving). Therefore, the wanderer involves physical space and movement, but the key lies in the mentality (both wandering and away). The wanderer can also not leave the city at all, such as the city wanderer who uses the city as a position of wandering and private confrontation... In this way, the nomad wanders and does not overflow the city, he is constantly thinking nomadic, constantly seeking escape Route... (p. 54)

The writing style of this book is very broad. In addition to introducing scenic spots, he is also best at urban studies, that is, his comments and analysis from the scenic spots. He also borrows the scenery to express feelings and heal wounds.

For example, Za Memories of Macau, there are film analysis he is good at, and his reflections in Rose Hall:

Only illusion is beautiful, truth is cruel. If so, would you rather stay in illusion, or live in reality? A lie can also be beautiful if it is white. But what a pitiful person who lives in an illusion. Poor is not beautiful, self-pity hurts even more.
Are tears beautiful? What if tears dry up one day?
 
Is memory beautiful? If beautiful memories come back and become painful, you should try to remember them or forget them. When memories become inseparable ghosts, how do you live with them, breathe with each other every moment, and will there be times of suffocation?
Is thinking beautiful? Is missing beauty? What if the thoughts go crazy? When the object of your thoughts is absent for a long time and becomes a shadow, day after day, paving the rest of your life, can you bear it? (pages 86, 87)

His every word, like a tide, kept hitting the readers standing in the water, and even drowned like a huge wave, almost drowning. This kind of rhetorical question dug into the heart, just like the above-quoted “thought nomadism he kept on, the escape route he kept looking for”, is a kind of life reflection through travel, not a kind of “going and going” travel.

In fact, not every article is so heavy. For example, I went to Iowa to participate in an international writing program and recorded that writers from all over the world communicated, and words became their "language". They learned from each other and collided with each other. Nie Hualing, the "God-level" martial arts overlord, came to take charge. As for the chapter on learning French in Paris, it starts with a diary, and then there are tourist impressions. Diary content is long and short. In just one line, there is a lot of imagination.

My favorite is the "Journey to Cross Tribulation" that Teacher Pan dug into the depths.

Reading Mr. Pan's works, such as "Li" and "Writing Topia and the Curse of Disappearance", the male and female protagonists are the kind of people with deep affection, such as "Seven Stories of Shem Fiction" in "Li":

Emotional distance Ten years ago she said to me: "Let's go."
Ten years later she said to me, "Let go."
When my English teacher taught me "apostrophes" when I was a child, they didn't tell me that this is a unit for measuring feelings.
From Let's go to Let go, the period is the distance of light years.

In just a few lines, the depth of emotion has already been expressed. The first two chapters of the journey to cross the calamity reached the extreme. This journey is a journey of a person, but she knows that she is also traveling in this country; it is a journey of companionship, but it is not synchronized.

In this way, I came to Myanmar with a broken soul and scars. I know you are here at this time, but I have no intention of showing up and I don't intend to let you know. In this way, I am only fulfilling my wish, if not a promise, to finally "walk" with Myanmar. (page 282)

In just a few short sentences, I already felt the weight. Reminds me of the last paragraph of Teacher Pan's poem "No Need to Say" [Note 1]:

So in the end, there are some things that don't need to be said, so I never told you how much I miss you, I just couldn't help writing down my thoughts.

In the article, it was revealed that he had an article "The Dust Zone of Love" in Zihua, which was later included in "Li". It ends like this:

...... "0929, let it go. If you don't let it go, you will be trapped in your heart forever. Let it go, although it will turn into dust, but it is dust in love."

In the latter part of this article, here is a "spare response":

Your shadow still haunts my mind often, and my heart is still down, as if I can't pick up myself, but at least I came for myself and ran away for myself. When I left Halong Bay and took the tourist bus back to downtown Hanoi, I really thought that I had given up, but it turned out that the "letting down" was only a temporary special effect. After the medicine has passed, you still hold on to your heart. Since then, I have learned even more that letting go is a long journey. (page 313)

Longing to meet but not being able to, wanting to let go but still holding on tightly, leaving the sadness to myself, it is deep love, infatuation, and even more paranoid. After reading it, the pain penetrated into my heart from the text, and it became a continuous ripple, and I couldn't calm down for a long time.

The title of "Walking" has a sub-theme: the practice of being alone. Solitude is a kind of digging into the depths of the heart. It is inevitable to open the wound again, "like a scalpel, it will touch the wound and make it bleed again", and then let the wound scab again. Every time the bleeding and crusting is painful, it is also a repair, so that the pain can be slowly put down.

～～～～～～～～～～～

[Note 1] "Love Liuli" "No Need to Say" pp. 190, 191

"Sometimes on the Road" (HKTV Mall)
https://www.hktvmall.com/hktv/en/main/MING-PAO-PUBLICATIONS/s/H8112001/Toys-%26-Books/Toys-%26-Books/Books/Fiction-%26-Literature/Popular /There is always some time on the road-C248 Pan Guoling/p/H8112001_S_978-988-8688-28-9