[Reading] After reading Naomi Ogura "Lawless Filled Cave"

Publisher: Kadokawa, Taiwan
ISBN: 9789865241506

To be honest, just looking at the title, it seems to be a mysterious comic with a fantasy title that wants a dissatisfied wife. (laugh)

When I read "Intimacy and Incompetence" a while ago, I always felt that I needed to get a breath from the depths of the emotional ocean, so I borrowed this delicately titled book to read. It turns out that the content of the two books is surprisingly close to each other.

It is recommended that everyone throw them into the shopping cart together, uh no , you can read them together, maybe you can get more inspiration.

The story revolves around three working women. The married protagonist is troubled to find out that his husband is no longer enthusiastic about him after giving birth to a child. Another married colleague insisted not to have an intimate relationship with him in order to avenge her husband for cheating. The last one is an unmarried colleague. Although he is dating a boyfriend who gets along very well, he is troubled by the inability to have sex with him.

These sounds like the stories of anonymous solutions on PTT (laughs), which proves to us that "sex" is never just a simple matter of being satisfied with the body and everything is OK. It always involves the issue of "heart" deeply or shallowly. After all, we are creatures with one body and mind.

What touched me the most was that the protagonist's husband admitted to the protagonist that he did not want to give up the marriage, but there was really no way to have a relationship with her (some psychological barriers for some reason). So, after realizing that he is still an indispensable partner to her husband, the protagonist asks him that it doesn't matter if he can't have sex, at least hug her tightly for a while.

In the end, although the two are still unable to make love for the time being, at least both of them feel that they still love each other as before, and are willing to overcome difficulties and go on together. The process is a little clumsy but a little sweet and sweet.

On the other hand, because she was angry with her husband, she was always reluctant to reconcile with another colleague, but because of her attitude of never bowing her head, she finally ushered in a divorce. Later, she regretted losing her partner because of her arrogance.

In my review of Intimacy Incompetence, I mentioned that the parental relationship is not harmonious. My mother is actually a woman with high self-esteem, and she doesn't easily bow her head or show weakness in front of her husband. (Or only give yourself a chance to bow your head or show weakness in your heart. If the other party's response is not as expected, immediately lock the door of your heart)

Just like the protagonist's colleague, in decades of marriage, my mother was sulking with my father almost every day. For a while, I was so angry that I often called me, and in a tone full of resentment and anger, I kept stressing that I could no longer bear this husband.

(This is really a tiring and bombarding call for people from Gao Min, but what’s the use of telling me? I didn’t choose my husband for you. Rather, I have to ask me to have such a father. What are you doing to bother me with this? )

But she has no plans to practice any specific steps that could lead to a divorce settlement. All she wanted was to make her husband nervous and threatened. Let me translate it: "I want revenge on him! I want him to value me!" This is exactly the same as the colleague in the book. (It's just that my father didn't have an affair, the two just had a simple personality incompatibility)

I once asked her, "If you go to the end of your life, look back and realize that you have wasted your precious life on complaining about your husband every day, don't you regret it?" I was very impressed, when she lifted her chin slightly. , said to me proudly and with anger in his eyes : " Not at all! "

(OS: I’m still very proud of being obsessed with it. It seems that nothing can save me . (Holding the forehead))

But what about the fruits of revenge? Of course it also failed.

Every conversation between the two is a chicken-and-duck talk. My mother is still standing proudly and angry in the center of the snowstorm on the top of her snowy mountain, and my father was originally a marginalized creature with almost zero basic social skills, so I still don't understand what is behind her anger, what she really wants It is the love of the husband. (He thought she thought she had little money)

Unconsciously influenced by my mother, I was also a very stubborn person. But later in the process of interacting with people, I slowly discovered that although there is no need to let my dignity be trampled underfoot, sometimes it is unnecessary to be too stubborn.

Because once the relationship between the two is regarded as a win or loss, and it seems that whoever bows his head first loses, the whole thing will lose focus and the situation will become more rigid, unable to convey the true intention to the other party, and it will become a kind of viciousness cycle.

From my third party's point of view, the emotional education of the previous generation made it very difficult for both parents to express their feelings frankly. Even a simple and simple hug or greeting in daily life seems to be superfluous. of.

However, whether it's an unrealistic fantasy of self-righteous thinking, "If you are a family, even if you don't do this, you should understand!" Waiting for the other person to comfort you or discover your true heart is impossible to fill that empty hole in your heart.

In the end, in an intimate relationship, whether you can let go of your dignity and anger at the right time, and frankly admit your vulnerability and loneliness, is the key to whether the relationship can be repaired in the end. (sigh)

I hope everyone doesn't gamble too much and forget about their most important things. :))