She marched naked but wore a mask and held a banner

She walked nearly naked in San Francisco's 2024 Rainbow Pride Parade, waving her fist and rainbow flag enthusiastically.

The whole city was boiling on this day, with sexual minority groups and their supporters from all over the world, using open displays and shouts, declaring their freedom and their yearning for freedom to the world. Just like a bright artificial rainbow at night, shooting towards the sky in the darkness - when you see its beauty, you will not ignore its existence.

When she reached the end, she said she had something else to do. She dragged out a huge suitcase and began to change her clothes. She put on a T-shirt, pants, a hat, a mask, sunglasses... She wrapped herself up so tightly that no one could recognize who she was.

After completing all these preparations, she took out a huge banner from the box and hung it on the railing at the end of the parade. It was a several-meter-long white canvas banner with the words "Release Huang Xueqin" written on it.

The total length of the banner is probably dozens of meters. Two weeks ago, when Huang Xueqin was sentenced, a group of feminist activists spent a day hand-drawing it. It was hung at iconic locations in San Francisco, such as the Golden Gate Bridge and Twin Peaks. It was part of the global campaign in support of Huang Xueqin.

I joined her halfway through to help her hang the banner. After the parade, most people left, leaving her alone, insisting on making another voice in this bustling pride parade.

There were only three or two of us, and it was obviously impossible to raise the banner that was dozens of meters long. We needed help. I thought of some other friends who were watching the parade nearby, so I called them for help. After I explained what I was going to do, one friend refused, and another refused.

We didn’t want to continue asking for help and had limited manpower, so we decided to display only part of the banner and discard the front half of the original banner - "As long as Huang Xueqin is not free, we are not free."

We hung the banner on the evacuation railing at the end of the Pride Parade, with smiling Pride marchers of all colors and outfits passing by in the background. Few people could recognize the Chinese characters or the person named Huang Xueqin, but some gave us a thumbs up. They knew that we were advocating, speaking out, defending our rights, and asking for attention... these are things that only vulnerable groups would do.

By chance, two friends who were passing by recognized me in the crowd and came up to hug me and say hello. I was standing in front of the banner at the time, and suddenly it occurred to me that I pointed at the banner and reminded them: Do you want to wear a mask?

They turned their heads and saw the content of the banner, then immediately lowered their heads and walked away. I thought they were going to the back to get masks and come back to chat with me, but they turned around and walked away to the front to watch the parade.

I understand this fear very well. Anyone who knows something about the domestic environment can understand this act of self-protection.

I have also been dominated by such fear. During the White Paper Movement at the end of 2022, no matter how angry I was, no matter how safe I was in the United States, no matter how angry I was, I was often in tears, but I was still silent on WeChat. At the end of November, before I went to attend the Urumqi fire memorial rally, I wrapped myself up tightly and was trembling with fear, not knowing what risks there would be in participating in "such an event". I told myself that I was just going there for the sake of my intention.

When I arrived and saw the huge crowd, I was relieved. It turned out that there were so many people who had the same feelings and emotions as me and wanted to do the same thing. I was not so scared anymore. Maybe this is the meaning of the early pride parade.

At that rally, I just wanted to show my appreciation. But I found that there was an opportunity to speak on stage. Some people were prepared, but more people went up on the spur of the moment. At that time, my emotions were already aroused by the atmosphere on the scene, and I hesitated whether to speak out the words that I had accumulated in my chest for the past few days. However, I was suppressed by the fear of "maybe there is surveillance now", and hesitated to move forward. At that time, I was struck by the words of a boy who spoke on the stage. The general meaning was: Our parents are in China, we all have reasons to be afraid, but this cannot be an excuse to stop us from doing things.

Somehow, I found the courage to speak, and I prepared my speech and lined up to go on stage. On the way back that day, I sent a message to my boyfriend saying, "I feel so brave."

Last night, while having dinner at my house, a senior who has long been committed to expressing her attitude through art and is full of wisdom and vitality asked us about the topic of courage. She was curious about our views on courage and our own experiences, and most of our answers mentioned the power of "being inspired by others".

I admire her very much. She has lived in the United States for a long time and has been supporting the values ​​she believes in with her actions, which has influenced the Chinese cultural circle. She emphasizes the importance of action. "You can be immature and imperfect, but you must do it. Only by doing can you break through."

A friend who hung the banner with me that day also said that we must use practical actions to prove to them that even if we do these things, there will be no terrible consequences.

I understand what he meant, which is that people should not over-think the danger. But at the same time, I was thinking, are we assuming that others are just afraid? Maybe they don't want to participate at all, thinking it's useless, childish, fierce, meaningless, or irrelevant to them...

Looking back at the time when I was "quiet and peaceful", I also had an attitude that it had nothing to do with me when my friends repeatedly mentioned and questioned the 8964 Incident and the Cultural Revolution. At that time, I thought that these were just history, painful history, and there was no need to hold on to them. We are living a good life now and should look forward. What I didn't know was that on the road ahead, we would also be tripped and our lives would be shattered by a hammer, just like everyone else.

Because that set of machines still operates in the same mode; it runs the same code, the code with bugs.

The three years of the epidemic have been like a developing powder, forcing our generation who grew up in "good days" to face the pain of our mother.

However, those who want to do something are a minority after all.

I participated in a tour of Castro some time ago. After introducing the development history of the LGBTQ community, he said, "There was no place for us in this world, but because of our efforts, we have the space we have now. I hope it can inspire some people, because everyone can be a minority."

Yes, sexual minorities, Chinese Americans, feminists, idealists who hope that China can achieve a civil society, advocates for creative freedom, people without identity, low-income people, left-handed people, singles, people of faith... As long as we have a little uniqueness of our own, sooner or later, to a greater or lesser extent, we will face a struggle with the mainstream for a position.

To put it in a more utilitarian way: Only when I help others can I create an atmosphere where "everyone is willing to help and dares to help", and only then will someone roll up their sleeves and step forward when I need help.

It seems to be our natural duty to learn to speak out for ourselves and help others amplify their voices.

In actual operation, we found that LGBTQ is already strong, at least in California, in San Francisco, it is strong enough to become "mainstream". In the atmosphere of jubilation in the whole city, supporting them is easy and courageous. We can march naked and kiss each other without facing any criticism. However, Huang Xueqin, who supported the "incitement to subversion" for the Me Too feminist movement, had to put on all her clothes even in the United States, considering safety first.

As I write this, I just realized after reading the news that the perception that LGBTQ is "strong" is actually just a feeling in my bubble. In the United States, several conservative states have passed anti-gay bills one after another, prohibiting LGBTQ books from appearing in public schools and libraries. Bookstores in California have launched a project to mail LGBTQ books to those states. The fight has never stopped.

The advantage of a pluralistic society is that people can choose their lives with their feet.

LGBTQ people can come live in the Friendly State. So can we.

We can't change our motherland, but we can take root in the present and let the culture we identify with take root here. We can put up banners, give speeches, open museums, open bookstores, publish publications... and launch our own new cultural movement.

We still don’t know where these seeds will grow and what they will become, but I can see the vibrant life force behind them.

The theme of this year's San Francisco Pride Festival is "Beacon of Love". When the rainbow laser penetrates the city buildings, reminding people of its existence everywhere, I am shocked and envious of the penetration and vitality of rainbow culture. This culture built by a minority group has now made countless people proud, recognize its beauty, and are willing to contribute to it.

Everybody should do your best.