"create."

Date: 2021.10.19

Location: Taipei City

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"You can actually think about why you deserve our trust."

In the fifth camping reading club, Iron Teeth believed in the sunny day in front of him, and did not believe in the weather forecast. It was not until the heavy rain at night that the branches fell and decided to go down. In the wind and rain at night, when everyone was embarrassed to withdraw to grandma's warehouse at No. 62 Osan, J said.

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"Because he believes in himself."

I haven't figured out how to answer yet, K rushes to say it first

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I don't know when I fell in love with the mountains. After I fell in love with it, I hope that my friends around me can also be together. A few years of stumbling have passed, and I have brought many friends up the mountain without knowing it. On this road, the original intention has always been to create the possibility of connecting with people in a place that I like.

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Continuous action to practice the original intention, seeing the "mountain" seems to really be able to connect people, so I gradually turn this kind of seeing into my own beliefs.

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Because it has become a "faith", I have countless motivations, so that I can take my friends up the mountain, then go to work to study adventure therapy, and then write camping reading clubs, camping improv dramas and other activities in my spare time. This year Even at all costs, I want to develop this belief into my lifelong career.

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And because it became a "faith", I gradually only believed that only mountains and forests could bring people together. Obviously, what he really wants in his heart is to connect with people, but he thinks that returning to the mountains and forests is the truth. The only way to experience life is to be persistent in the wild. Later, I realized that as long as you can feel something, it is life.

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In fact, the meaning of life is not necessarily to be connected with people, but there is such an original intention, but it is only on the way to experience life, so I believe it. However, he is only believing in himself, but on the way to practice his "faith", he constantly wants the people around him to believe in the same way as he does.

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After shaking the belief that I have always believed, sometimes I am not sure whether what I want is to continue to explore life in depth from the original belief, or to adjust myself and re-understand life from other perspectives. Or perhaps pursuing a different perspective to experience life is a kind of exploring the depth of life.

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It's just that I suddenly feel that I'm using a dichotomy to face life again. It seems that it's not deep, it can only be broad, and everything has to have an answer, but the reason why my faith is shaken at this moment is that I don't want to use it right. wrong to look at.

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"After this venture, what kind of partner do you want to find in the future?"

Suddenly remembered that day in the book club, J asked me this question.

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It seems that I need to clearly enumerate the partner conditions I expect, but I haven't done it. Maybe I resist to a certain extent because I see people as a dichotomy. It seems that the person who wants to be with me can only be The way it is listed.

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"There was a time when the creator looked for companions and children of hope, but then he realized that he couldn't find them without creating them first."

Nietzsche wrote this in "Thus Spoke Zarathustra", and he also wrote a similar story in "Notes from the Basement" designated for this book club.

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After all, everything is created by yourself, whether it is the people around you, dreams, or the problems they bring. Maybe it's because I know that I created it myself, so I don't want to create it. I always feel that I have created it and I am limited by myself. I still hope that life can have infinite possibilities.

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After walking around for a while, compared to actually creating a career, maybe as long as you do the same thing with the people around you and make each other happy, it seems enough, but when you say this, it seems to create another An expectation, and then once again limited by myself.

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Probably life is really like the feeling after reading "Notes from the Basement", it is meaningless, constantly creating, being limited, re-creating in another way, and then being limited again, or maybe this is also a kind of meaning. But at this moment, it seems that the question at the beginning has not been answered, but it is not really that important.