Fiction | Cat, I won't call your name anymore

1

Everyone probably had some weird hobbies when they were kids, like smelling the gas station, peeing in a mud pit, yelling at an electric fan, and so on. I am no exception.

In those days, I liked to hide behind the curtains, wrap myself up layer by layer in a circle, like a thick silkworm chrysalis. At that time, the world was dark, the skin of my nose, eyes, and cheeks were all rubbing against the lines on the curtains, and there was the sound of hair rustling in my ears, all of which reassured me, I just felt that everything in the world had nothing to do with me. It doesn't matter. I couldn't hear my grandmother calling me to eat, and I couldn't remember the summer homework I hadn't started yet. The dead cat flew far into the sky, scratching his chin with his foot on the soft white cloud.

After the cat died, my aunt told me that, pointing to the clouds in the sky.

The cat is a small orange cat, who often plays with me by the curtain when alive. When I hide behind the curtains and wrap myself, it licks my leaking toes with its tongue, itchy, grainy, like being rubbed against a tiny towel. Sometimes it also hides in the curtains, peeks out half of its head through the slit underneath, and looks at me with a (I think) shy look. Then I will ask it: "Hey, what are you doing?"

It would retract its head again and dig at the curtains with its newly grown claws, just like me who was discovered after a mistake. In the inadvertently leaking sunlight, I could see a fleeting light flickering on the tips of its fur.

By the way, the cat doesn't have a name. If I want to call it, I always say "hello". Because I know that what I "name" will soon leave me.

It wasn't like this before, I named everything I saw. The tree in the yard downstairs is called "Little Green", the stick picked up by the roadside is the "Sword of Heaven-shattering God", he secretly nicknamed his mother "Big Butt", and called his father's hedgehog-like hair "Needle Needle". ". But strangely, after I took my name, they disappeared one by one.

The little green was chopped off, and I saw with my own eyes how the booming chainsaw cut into its body as easily as cutting tofu. I can't understand, that's the body that I beat so hard that I feel unbreakable, why is it so fragile? I want to rush up to stop the middle-aged man who saw Xiaolu, please stop, please don't continue, please leave Xiaolu to me. But I didn't dare to stand up and face an adult. I had to wait for everyone to leave before I sneaked forward, touched the debris on the stump with my hand, and smelled it gently with my nose. Fragrant, that is the blood of Little Green.

A few days later, the blood was air-dried, the stump was clean and dust-free, and the cut section was as flat as it was born. But I know that this is Little Green's skeleton. I often think of it. When I got up to go to the toilet at night, I heard the sound of leaves being blown by the wind from the other side of the curtain, squeaking and rustling, as if they had something to say to me.

And about the stick, I have no idea how it disappeared. Like playing video games, I take it to and from school every day to chop things on the side of the road, stones, letter boxes, and billboards in front of other people's stores, all of which are targets. There is an "experience bar" in my mind. Every time I chop, the experience value of the stick will increase by 1 point. I believe that as long as it is tempered enough, it will be advanced to "Sword of Heaven-shattering".

But when it was about to become the real "Sword of Heaven-shattering", it all ended. I put it in the grass in an alley in front of the school, and when I went to pick it up after school, the grass was empty. No bones, no blood.

After a while, I saw what looked like a "Sword of Heaven" beside a trash can at school, but I wasn't sure, because it was only a palm-length piece left, dirty, and covered by a Yellow dog in mouth. I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I turned my head and went back to the classroom.

Mom and Dad disappeared in a way I couldn't understand at all. The only truth I can feel is that I was sent to my grandmother's house and they never showed up again. There were no thrilling scenes, no disappointing ending, and no one explained to me why. The stone fell into the pool and it just happened.

But I have my own judgment in my heart, and I am sure of it - they disappeared because of "naming", and it is because of "naming" that I have suffered so far.

During that time, I often took my cat to a park not far away to bask in the sun. Unlike a puppy, you can't hold a cat on a leash, so in addition to lying on your lap, a cat will run around the park. But no matter what, when the sun is about to go down, it always comes back to me.

Occasionally it will bring back some strange things, dead mice in the bushes, small lizards, or some abandoned colored toy balls. It is said that the cat wants to feed the "waste humans" who are sitting there unable to prey. I usually just throw things away until one time, it comes back alone.

That day, it suddenly jumped out of the grass and jumped on my lap in three or two steps, followed by a girl who jumped out of the grass. She is about the same height as me, wearing a red and white plaid floral dress, with two Nezha-like balls on her head. She squatted slightly, staring at the cat in my arms without saying a word, and the cat faced her with a slightly hostile attitude.

"Kitten, cute." She walked towards the cat slowly, raising her hands as if to pounce on it.

"It doesn't like being chased," I said, reassuring the cat.

"Then don't chase, let me touch it." She shook her hand, straightened up, and walked over quickly before I could answer.

The cat's body became more and more tense, and its tail stood straight up. I had to scratch its chin lightly to keep it from getting excited, so as not to hurt the overly familiar girl. What's strange is that when the girl's chubby little hand touched its forehead, it squinted its eyes for a moment and rolled shyly. That's its coquettish posture.

The girl smiled, and a tiger tooth on the right shook slightly, feeling that it would fall off at any time.

"Touch it well, what's its name?"

"no name."

"Then what do you usually call it?"

"Hello." The cat looked up at me.

"Hey?"

"right."

"What, that's not the name, the kitten whose name is 'Hello'."

Her words made my heart tighten.

"Not a name," I said firmly.

2

Maybe it was because my childhood was so lonely, that girl and I quickly became friends and learned that her name was Xiaoqing.

At first, I didn't want to know her name at all, but she kept pestering me and asking, saying that after knowing each other's names, they would never forget the person in front of me, so I had to tell her the name obediently.

"Your name is so complicated, why don't I just call you Achuan? How to write the word "Chuan"? , I felt joy in my heart, but suddenly scared. Will her "naming" have the same power as mine, and in which form will I also disappear?

As for Xiaoqing, she asked me to call her that. It wasn't my initiative to "name" it. I emphasized that and tried not to call her by her name.

After meeting a few times in the park, we found out that we both lived on the same street and that the adults knew each other, so she started coming to my house a lot. Most of the time I came here was on weekend afternoons. My grandmother and grandpa were taking a nap in the room, and there was a slight snoring from time to time. We didn't dare to make a fuss, just sat quietly in the living room playing with my toy box, or took out a "Wangwang Crushed Ice" from the refrigerator and split half of it to share with her, then we always looked at each other and smiled.

We all know the ad: "Wangwang crushed ice, you are half me, you are my playmate."

I still play games about curtains, but instead of one person and one cat to two people and one cat. The two of us stood in a line holding hands, and the person on the outside pulled the edge of the curtain and circled inward, wrapping both of us tightly. The feeling was very different from when I was alone. Apart from the friction between my skin and the curtain, I could clearly smell the faint shampoo smell on Xiaoqing's body. Her hot breath hit the curtain softly, and then gently touched it. To my cheeks, warm and itchy.

"It feels different," she said.

"Yes." I replied. I don't know what she meant by "different", did she mean that it was special to be wrapped tightly in the curtains, or did she feel each other's temperature as much as I did?

Regardless, we're all going through an experience we've never had before.

The cat meowed a few times, and the sound became farther and farther away, as if it had gone to my room. Xiaoqing and I just stood behind the curtains, in the gentle darkness, for a long time without speaking. For no apparent reason, I felt a warm little bug wandering around in my heart, as if it was about to crawl out of my extremities. I plucked up the courage to tell her my secret.

"Secretly tell you, if I give a name to a thing, that thing will disappear."

She didn't seem to hear what I said, or she was thinking about what it meant. In short, she was quiet for a while before she said, "Idiot, how can such a thing happen."

"Really, it doesn't matter what everyone's name is, but if I choose it on purpose, people and things will soon disappear." I told Xiaolu, the Heaven-shattering Excalibur and his parents all at once. clear.

But after listening to me, she was not afraid at all. Instead, she joked: "Then Xiaoqing is the only one who can bark." She let go of the curtains, let out a long breath and said, "It's too stuffy inside."

The warmth brought by the breath suddenly disappeared, but I had no time to recollect it, so I hurriedly emphasized loudly: "But that's not what I took!"

"Don't worry, I won't disappear, I'm a big living person, you can touch."

At this time, Xiaoqing held my hand, and I felt the warmth that I had never felt before. It was as comfortable as sticking hot water on my neck in winter, and I felt that I was soft. The limp I was dragged into the room by her like this. The cat was dozing off on the bed in the room, looked at us listlessly, closed his eyelids again and fell asleep.

"Achuan, give 'Hello' a real name!" Xiaoqing pointed to the cat and said to me.

"Is it really possible?" I almost agreed, but I hesitated again when I thought of the people and things that I once said goodbye to.

"Of course, look at it, jumping around in the room every day, sleeping on your bed when tired, eating so much in one meal, and its slippery fur is more comfortable than a plush doll, how can such a cat Maybe take a name and disappear?"

The cat seemed to realize that we were talking about it, opened its mouth and yawned, then straightened and stretched, curled up and looked at me quietly. It doesn't know what kind of danger it will face, and Xiaoqing doesn't understand at all, only I face the horror of "naming" alone.

"Think about it, Achuan." Xiaoqing kept urging me.

"I can't think of a good name for a while." I tried to use this reason to get away with it.

"Let me help you think about it too. Seeing that its belly is like a glutinous rice dumpling, how about calling it a dumpling? Don't you like it, then it is called Rhubarb. It sounds like a puppy."

Xiaoqing began to keep listing the names she thought of, letting me, the cat owner, choose. To my ears, those names are like the curse of the villain witch in the usual cartoons. Just waiting for me to answer softly, the black and purple magic will immediately turn into a rope, tightly wrapped around the cat's body, until its fate is tied alive. die. I felt a moment of regret, why would I tell someone my name?

"The cat must also want a real name, right?" Xiaoqing said, putting her head close to the cat and staring at its eyes. Seeing that I was unresponsive, the witch started seducing the cat.

As if to get rid of the curse, the cat jumped up suddenly, stepped on Xiaoqing's head and jumped onto the desk beside the bed. The glass table lamp on the desk was arched by it and fell straight to the floor. Before we could stop it, we only heard a crisp sound and the lamp was torn apart. Thank goodness.

The grandmother and grandfather who were taking a nap were awakened and scolded us loudly. They carefully cleaned the broken glass on the floor, saying things like putting away the glass china, or sending the cat away. I pretended to answer, but in fact, I hugged the cat who was in trouble and sneaked out of the room with Xiaoqing.

"I said it, you can't choose random names, it will be dangerous." I was not bothered by being scolded at all, but felt a sense of happiness that I caught a life-saving straw.

But Xiaoqing didn't seem to hear what I said, and called her by the name she took to herself.

"Duanzi, danzi, don't be afraid, it's just that one of the lights is broken."

And the cat even reacted to the name, trying to pull my hand away. As soon as I let go, it jumped into Xiaoqing's arms.

"Hey! What's the matter with you?" I called it like I always did, but it didn't even look back. I knew at this moment that it had a real name.

3

Later, I was still reluctant to call the cat's new name, but because Xiaoqing called too much, I would unconsciously refer to it by this name when I remembered it in my mind.

"The dumpling came back with a dead mouse yesterday."

"Duanzi grabbed another piece of the curtain."

"It's only me and Xiaoqing who call it dumplings, is there really no problem?"

But anyway, the curse didn't take effect. I haven't lost Xiaoqing in months, and the dumplings haven't disappeared either. Maybe it's because Xiaoqing took the name, and only when I name it alone will it bring bad fate. This actually makes me happy.

Then one day later, my parents also appeared again. Dad still keeps the hard "needle", and mom still likes to wear jeans with a "big butt", and they finally reconciled.

The two of them came to me smiling. I held my father with my left hand and my mother with my right. They wanted to take me to the newly opened playground in the county town.

I gently touched the dumpling's head and told it that I was going out to play. It licked my hand affectionately, and it was as itchy as I remembered.

At the playground, I also met Xiaoqing, I introduced her to my parents, and then went on the Ferris wheel and roller coaster together. On the Ferris wheel, I said I liked her very much and wanted to be friends forever, and she said she too. Mom and Dad sat across from each other and laughed.

Hi, I finally have a happy life. What the name, what the curse, all have nothing to do with me.

"How could there be such a good thing, idiot." I seemed to see Xiaoqing say this to me.

Yes, how could such a thing happen, I am clearly going to hell step by step.

Dad held up a long black tube to Mommy's head - I've seen it on TV and it's called a "gun". I still remember Dad's eyes wide open, so bright red that they were about to bleed. Mom opened her mouth, her body shaking violently, and her mouth could only make inexplicable gasps.

Grandpa and grandma stood aside and shouted excitedly, but the voice was so loud that I couldn't hear a single sentence.

I huddled behind the curtains, hugging Dango's body in fear, and the high-pitched honking of cars kept coming from outside the window.

"It's all your fault for this to happen." I just remember my dad saying this at the end. Then there was a loud bang.

Tinnitus, severe tinnitus.

At that moment, the dumpling jumped out of the window and fell to his death.

I still wonder, to whom did Dad say this, Mommy or me? I have no way of verifying that, and I haven't seen him since. But Dango's death is probably my fault, I couldn't stop "naming".

Afterwards, I want to tell Xiaoqing about it, or I want to tell Xiaoqing about it.

So I took two pieces of popsicles and went to her house and knocked on the door for a long time, but no one responded until the ice melted. The uncle who guarded the door downstairs told me that they had moved and went to a far away place.

Coincidentally, the day they moved out also happened to be the day the dumpling fell to his death.

So I went back to my grandmother's house again, wrapping myself tightly in the curtains, like a cocoon, warm and safe. But no more cat tongues that tickle me, and I know, no one speaks to me in the dark anymore.